Read this article which struck a nerve in me because hoo-boy it has happened more than once.
We meet for a drink, and you’ve brought along four friends. Which is weird.
If you were going to bring a whole bunch of friends, you should’ve mentioned it. If there was no romantic point to any of this, it’s up to you to mention it. If you’re using me for a quick self-esteem boost, well that’s just not very nice.
I’ve had variations of the above happened to me. Some were better than others. I will illustrate using three different instances which will progress in increasing levels of pain. Heheh.
On my very first date, after agonisingly building up the courage to ask her out, she said, “Who else is coming?” I blurted out the name of my best friend then, “Paul”. She said ok, we will meet at the theatre. She turned up with her brother and two of her friends. I sat next to Paul. She sat next to her brother and friends. On different rows. Argh. RAGE.
On my third call and on the verge of giving up, she agreed to dinner. Yay! Then she said, “Can I bring a friend?” What?! Are you serious? Ok, yeah whatever. Going to the date I was feeling half-arsed and totally cbf about it but her friend didn’t show and we had a most pleasant time. My three-call rule got reset and I tried again after that, and flamed out in the process. Argh but meh. You have to be in it to win it right? At least I tried.
Talking to her felt easy and effortless so I thought let’s take it to the next level. She readily agreed to dinner but when I turned up she was sitting there with two guy friends. Oh no she didn’t! Hulk SMASH! Well actually, Hulk just sulked and ate his dinner.
It’s never nice when you are being rejected even when it’s being done indirectly, though I guess not every one can dish out a brutal rejection. However, if I’m being unambiguous about asking you out then just be upfront about it. Pour cold water on me by saying that you will bring your friends? That’s ok. Bring your friends along unannounced? That’s not ok.
I’ve had my R33 Skyline since 2001. The car was made in 1994. For a few years now, I’ve been contemplating about getting a new car. Then I decided to put the money towards a deposit for a plot of land in 2009. And now, I’ve decided to finally start building on it. So there will be no new car for me in the foreseeable future. What’s a guy to do? The front and rear bumpers were damaged and cracked anyway so I decided on the next best thing – a nip/tuck.
Before (when it was brand new and wasn’t damaged and cracked):
I’m pretty chuffed with it. Not bad for a car that’s almost 20 years old.
I’ve been noticing a trend lately especially since Instagram came onto the scene and that is girls really like taking photos of themselves and then uploading them. And it’s predominantly a girl thing. I can say that because I follow guys on my Instagram and they don’t post any many pictures of themselves as the girls do. I don’t know about male celebrities *cough*selinalovessungkangtoomuch*cough but between regular guys and girls? The girls win.
Before the invention of the “like”, to be creepy takes effort. You have to leave enough comments like “OMG you are so beautiful!”, “Wow, marry me!”, or “No seriously. Marry me” before you creep someone out. Now with “like”, being creepy is effortless. It’s an impulsive and spontaneous thing. You see something you like? You “like” it. Tap-tap. Done! Omg she’s so hot.
Seriously though? What’s with all the toilet selfies?
The question then becomes: how many times can you like a girl’s selfies before it becomes creepy? I asked this question on my Facebook and I got only two answers. Thanks Facebook friends! My cousin JC says so long as she keeps posting them, one should keep liking them because that’s what they really want. Attention and lots of it. Which is kinda true.
I like this x1000
And Selina says one does it until she blocks you. Which is a non-answer. Thanks Sel!
Wahahahah! Ok so back to the question. How many “likes” does a stalker make? To understand that, one needs to question why a girl uploads photos and photos of herself for everyone to see. It is to fish for compliments is it not? So it’d behoove us, the audience to clap and approve, right? So my answer is, it’s never too creepy to “like” if she likes people looking at her.
I will leave you with a sub-genre of the selfie: the flexing selfie. Hey girls, never stop doing what you do. Ya-yer.
One of the stops on the cruise was Tauranga. There’s a famous beach town called Mount Maunganui in the area but we merely drove past it (v. pretty with lotsa nice houses) because we were set to visit Hobbiton, the sheep farm/set where they shot the LoTR and Hobbit movies. It was about an hour and a half drive away from the port.
Our guide at Hobbiton told us that one reason Peter Jackson chose this specific area to shoot the movies was that for large swaths of it, you do not see any roads or power and telephone lines. This photo that I took on the way there shows this to be true.
Sheep farming is THE industry in this area.
Obligatory tourist shots.
The place is spectacular.
But we were told that a lot of things were not real. Like this tree above Bag End. Apparently all the leaves were painstakingly stuck onto the iron tree frame by film students from the area.
Going there and back to the port took us a good part of the only day we have at this place but it was well worth it.
I once liked a crazy girl but it didn’t eventuate into anything because spoiler alert, she was crazy. My friends told me after that it was just as well that nothing came out of it because they knew right away that it wasn’t going to work out, and even if it did I would have hated myself for getting into it. That’s the thing about having a crush or being in love with someone, you develop tunnel vision and become fixated on what you like about the person and nothing else. There’s no balance and you are not objective about it.
Even if my friends had said something, I would have probably brushed it off. Even if I knew in the back of my head that what they were saying was true, I would have stuck it out anyway because “I wanted to find out for myself”.
On the other hand, a relationship that seem totally wrong to you can work for the people involved. Unless there’s blatant abuse in it, who are we to criticise what makes them happy? Some people like being in dysfunctional relationships and the excitement and variety that they bring. Some people like their relationships to be a roller-coaster ride. Sooner or later, they would want to get off the ride but until then they are thrilled and they are happy.
Our ship docked at Wellington early on a Sunday morning.
What struck me immediately about Wellington as the capital city of New Zealand was that it felt slightly more alive than our own capital city, Canberra.
Even though parts of it look just like any other Australian city, it seems so much more nicer and interesting. Or perhaps it was just visitor bias.
It was definitely enhanced by the beautiful waterfront.
On the day I saw kids diving off various piers. The above is the bigger one and this was what they were diving into.
And at another spot, more diving.
We didn’t have enough time so we took a very brisk stroll around the national museum – Museum of New Zealand Te Papa Tongarewa. But from the little that I saw, I knew this was a great museum. So if you are vising Wellington, block out at least an hour or so to visit it.
The saying goes that if you don’t expect anything, you will never be disappointed. That’s a very pessimistic view of life but paradoxically it can also be the one that gives you the most joy. Take your friends. Everyone has a core group of friends that they can count on one hand, or two hands if they are lucky. These are the ones that you usually expect the most of, the ones that you know you can count on to lift you up whenever you needed it.
Then there are friends who are great for having fun and partying with but you don’t really expect much out of them. Although they are fair weather friends they can still serve a purpose in your life. They occupy the more frivilous parts of your life. They are like fast food – not the best nutritionally but satisfying in the short term so long as you know that that’s what they are.
Don’t expect them to lend you money, go out of their way to do favours for you, or are truly genuine when they are around you, and you will never be disappointed. To expect more is pointless.
The trick is to know which type of friends are which but like everything else in life, it gets easier with experience. And if you are really lucky, your genuine friends are also the ones you have the most fun with.