As I age gracefully into my 40s, my skin has become thicker and I’m no longer mortified by situations that used to be awkward especially when they involve women. My reaction to them these days is always “fuck it” but back then, not so much. Here are some recollections that I have not painfully scrubbed from my mind … yet.
As boys are wont to do, we behaved strangely with girls that we like. We might tease them more and be more mean towards them than normal. I was like that with a girl until she caught me in a stairwell one day and asked me straight up, “what’s going on?” I reacted with feelings of incredulity (how can you not know?!) and yelled “because I like you!” Till this day, I remember this because lightning cracked and the skies started pissing themselves laughing. I’m not kidding.
I once said to my crush at the time, “so I heard you got a boyfriend now”. She looked at the guy next to her and said, “yeah this is him”. Ermahgerd. Where’s the nearest hole I can crawl into?
I made the error of breaking up with a girl on campus instead of off campus because I then had to walk back into the lunch hall and catch the death stares from her and all her friends. The breakup was pleasant in comparison to that.
Happily arranged a dinner date with a girl that I thought was interested, and then showing up to the place to see her sitting with two male friends. At least one of them was sympathetic. He said to me, “this was meant to be a date, huh?” Thanks for feeling me, my brother.
Yes, some of the women above may read this but I would like to think that they will be able to laugh with me about it. Otherwise, well … this is awkward.
So i recently conducted a study on why this is so using a very definitive and comprehensive sample size of one: me trying to rent and stream the 2013 movie “The World’s End“, and my only criteria is to be able to quickly rent and watch it when I want to watch it. That is, RIGHT NOW.
In Australia currently, these are the ways that you can watch a movie legally online or on your TV:
Free-to-air. Downside: erm, how long do I have to wait after it was released? Next.
Subscribe to Foxtel. Downside: pay a monthly bill of at least $74 to get their movie package which gives you access to other channels too granted but you cannot pick and choose which channels – they are bundled together, whether you want them or not. And you can’t rent just one movie. Next.
Subscribe to Quickflix. Downside: having to pay $14.95 monthly whether you wanted to watch a movie or not; can’t rent a single movie or pay as you go. Next.
Bigpond Movies. This looks more promising – you can rent individual movies without monthly access fees or charges. Bonus if you are a Bigpond customer as the download/streaming will not eat into your data allowance. This goes on the shortlist.
iTunes. Also promising – movies can be rented individually. Added to the shortlist.
Now the fun begins. I went onto Bigpond Movies and this movie is not in their catalogue. Son, I’m disappoint. So then I went into the iTunes store and found the movie. The movie is available to be purchased but the “Rent” option was not available for it like it is for other movies. More disappoint.
What is the deal here? I’m sure I’ve read this somewhere before but I couldn’t find something online to back this up so this is purely how I remembered it – movies are released to the cinemas first, then to DVDs and DVD rentals, then to pay-per-view/Foxtel and then to free-to-air TV.
I do not know how online rentals figure into this but I suspect that here in Australia at least, it is after Foxtel has squeezed all revenue potential out of a movie first. So theoretically, online rentals are available before free-to-air but only after Foxtel has aired the movie. For how long, I don’t know.
And just to confirm that this is the case, I searched for another movie that was released around the same time, “This Is The End” and found the same thing – I can buy it but I couldn’t rent it.
Frustrated, I typed in “the world’s end torrent” and BAM – options aplenty. I can neither confirm nor deny that I then proceeded to torrent the shit out of it, but instant gratification was achieved albeit with a short delay of about an hour while it downl … *ahem* I said nothing, you saw nothing, move along now.
Yes I know that I could have possibly rented the movie by walking into an actual video rental place (remember those?) but:
I have to find one near my place
I have to get out of the house
I will have to look around the shelves for it – it ain’t a new release so it would be tucked away somewhere not obvious
FFS, I’m tired already.
So I’m very glad to hear that Malcolm Turnbull agree that the content providers are making it all too hard for people who want to do the right thing in Australia.
It’s been a while since I’ve written here. Sometimes not much happens but this past month isn’t one of those times.
Work during May and June was especially frustrating and it made me wonder if moving here was worth it considering that I’ve only been here since the beginning of February. Despite city life being awesome, and a social life that is starting to get more fun, work pays for everything and if work is not pleasant anymore then it is a problem.
Serendipity feels like it happens a lot in my life, and it did happen here again. An ex-colleague of mine was leaving his job and referred me to his manager. Had I been happy with my current job, I would not have went in for an interview. The fact that it is also just across the street from my current office was an extra incentive to just go see what’s on offer.
The interview went really great because with regards to the technical aspects of the job I was a shoe-in and they already knew that as my ex-colleague and I did the same job when we were working together. Culturally it felt like a good fit too. I was offered the role by the end of the day.
The place is more formal than the current place (hello business shirts!) but from my two days spent there for a handover with my friend who’s leaving, the people seemed nice and friendly. I start tomorrow. I’m excited and a bit nervous. However, after 6.5 years at my current job I felt ready for a change.
This is my new employer – Lincoln Indicators and I will be their new systems administrator.
Mom’s visit to Melbourne
Mom was here for 2 weeks and it was swell. Although I cooked a few meals whilst she was here, she did most of it during her stay. It reminded me of home in Perth with her because I didn’t have to think about groceries or what to cook after finishing work. We shopped and ate out quite a bit. Her favourite places were Uniqlo and Wonderbao.
I wanted to take her to fancier places but she said not to waste my money. That’s my mom.
We had such a great time just being in each other’s presence that I was a bit depressed when she left a week ago. But any time is better than nothing. At my age, you’d realise that time with our parents is precious – time waits for no one and is fleeting.
My Car in Perth
Thanks to my brother my car has now been sold, after about 4 months on the market. Bye bye car. You’ve served me well since I got you in 2001. Many fun times were had and I’ve driven you a little too fast more than a few times. Shhh.
Snoop has a new lump
I don’t want to end this post on a sombre note but chronologically, it is the most recent event as I was told just yesterday. Mom had taken Snoop to the vet because she was worried about the appearance of a lump on his chest. It turned out to be cancerous but we don’t know if it’s aggressive or if it was invasive locally or otherwise. We will know more once a chest X-Ray is done next week. As Snoop is 14 this year, the vet has advised me to be prepared for the end.
Of course I’m sad, and I haven’t even recovered from my mild depression since mom’s left either. I feel some frustration that I’m not there to deal with it myself, and a sudden urge to go home. However, I’m putting it in perspective. This will be the third time that Snoop has cancer and he has had a good run over this past 14 years. When the time comes I won’t be selfish – I won’t prolong his life unnecessarily with painful surgery and misery just because I will be sad to see him go, even as I’m choking up a bit from writing my feelings here.
There is a family trip to Taiwan in November that I already have leave for. I will be forgoing that and I will use that 2 weeks to be in Perth to spend with Snoop. Yup, time is precious and fleeting indeed. Go hug a love one today.
Ok maybe a little bit of levity is appropriate right now …
Except for a few extended holidays and until I moved to Melbourne I’ve seen my family every single day of my nearly 40 year old life. This is the first time that I’ve been living away from them on a permanent basis. So the recent news of a friend losing her mother got me thinking even more than usual.
Times when a friend loses a parent always fill me with sadness and empathy for my friend, and it never fails to put me in a reflective mood about the short time on this planet that we are given with our loved ones. But being physically away from my own parents amplified those feelings more at the moment. It made me realise that I don’t tell my parents that I miss or love them as much as I do. Actually I don’t think I’ve ever said that. As Chinese, we are just never expected to say those things because we’ve never heard our parents say it to each other or to their own parents.
It’s hard for me to vocalise those words so I guess I just have to write them here. Mom, dad and Marvin – I’m glad that I don’t bicker and argue with you as much as I did whilst growing up, and I miss your soothing and comforting presence even if it was just us sitting next to each other not talking and staring at the TV.
This felt like yesterday
The old cliches are true – time flies and there’s no better time than the present to make the important people in your life know that they are important to you. Life is cruelly and freakishly random so don’t put it off and don’t wait for a good time. It is always a good time.
Another truthful cliche – the simple things in life are the best
My recent trip home to Perth during Easter has reinforced what I’ve always felt: that I will never be ambitious and career-focused because I value the people in my personal life more. I do not aspire to higher positions or more responsibility, and more money. I will always be just average at work, possibly above average at the most.
The high life or the powerful life will never be for me. I will leave that to the truly remarkable people who can forgo time with loved ones to focus on work, or the truly remarkable and fortunate ones who have it both ways.
3am supper after clubbing, April 2014
It is true that I moved across the country for my job. However, this is as far as I’m going to go. I am not going to move to another country for a job like a few of my friends have done. That will never happen.
Now living alone in a new city, I could have easily fallen down the rabbit hole of using work to fill up space and time. Instead I choose to fall down the rabbit hole of video games, Youtube and, blogs and news sites instead. The Internet is great – however did hermits stay sane before it?
So in summary, I embrace my average working life because my personal life is so much more enriching and satisfying to me, and I rather do over-time on that than at the office.
I’ve now lived in Melbourne for two months and so far so good. I’ve not as homesick as I thought I would be, though going home to an empty place without food already on the table (hi mom!) took a while to get used to. Not having Snoop greeting me at the door every day is the number one thing that I’m missing. For everyone else, there’s the Internet and the phone. I’ve even given my mom access to my Facebook so she knows exactly what I’m up to. That has not stopped her calling me every other day but I don’t mind it though, even if it’s just her asking me “have you eaten?” and “what did you eat?” Hahah! But seriously mom, thanks for reminding me about your home cooked meals that I don’t get to eat. Heheh.
Melbourne CBD is great for a single person in that one doesn’t actually feel bored or would go insane if you had no one to go home to. Everything is walkable and people watching is great. That said, I haven’t been out as much as I would be if I was still in Perth. Most of the people I know here are from work and luckily for me, they are a great bunch of people. I have been socialising with them more than with people outside of work. This is in contrast to Perth where I worked in a small office and not everyone comes in all the time – most days, I’m actually alone. By the time the weekend comes, I’d be craving for my friends’ company.
So I’m enjoying the working environment here more because I get to see people whilst I work, and nothing beats face-to-face for problem solving and the sharing of ideas. And venting and shooting the breeze during breaks help the day passes by more pleasantly. I’ve also attended a few work functions including two Melbourne International Comedy Festival shows. All of which lessens my need to go out and see people on the weekend. I do want to go out more but this is early days and I’m still building up my social network here.
In the mean time, my weekends are mostly occupied by laundry, vacuuming, buying groceries and cooking stuff that takes more than a few hours to make like soup and curries which I’d then eat the next week, or freeze. Oh and I’ve been video-gaming, ALOT. I once spent one entire Saturday playing Diablo 3 (hi Adrian!).
I will be going home to Perth for a week during Easter and the fact that I get to do that makes me feel incredibly fortunate because when my parents came to Australia to study when they were kids, they never got to go home for years. So what I’m trying to say is, I can’t and shouldn’t complain because my life is good whether it’s here in Melbourne or back in Perth.
Two weekends ago I had nothing planned so I decided to do the touristy thing and visited two places that are always on people’s lists of what to do in Melbourne: Chapel Street and Queen Victoria Market.
I knew Chapel Street was known for its shops, bars and restaurants and I will go back again and explore it more.
But the Saturday that I was there, I was looking out more for the historic buildings and architecture.
This particular building caught my eye. The place, despite its ornate exterior looked dilapidated inside but there was one guy sitting on the balcony, having a drink and looking down at the street below. What is this place? I don’t know.
I would have liked to have taken some photos of the nice interiors of the bars and restaurants too but next time. One disappointment though was The Jam Factory – it wasn’t as filled out or as interesting as I thought.
The next morning, I walked a few hundred metres from my apartment to Queen Victoria Market. My aim for the day besides taking some photos was to try the doughnuts at American Doughnuts that people apparently lose their shit over.
Alas, no such luck. The queue was v. long.
I love doughnuts (donuts?) but I don’t love it that much.
I spent some time scouting out the meat, seafood and vegie prices. Very reasonable and unless you are buying organic, most were cheaper than the supermarkets.
There were more than one seafood stall that looked like this. I drooled.
And I loved the interior.
Around lunch time, I had a few options. South American BBQ …
Sicilian grill …
Or Filipino …
I went with the South American one but meh. It wasn’t that good – the beef skewers were too tough and the salad was way too salty. At least the drink was good. I love me some Guarana Antartica.