“Why are you not on Tinder?”


November 6, 2016 3:33 PM

I'm single and I'm ok with that
And I’m ok with that.
(source)

I feel like I’m rehashing myself because I’ve written about this at least twice before, and very eloquently too I might add. Seriously they are really well written. Go read them. 😀

Why aren’t you asking her out?
Saying I’m single as I grow older

But ain’t nobody got time for that so Imma just gonna write about it again. I will even put in 10% more effort to make it slightly different. You are welcomed.

The impetus for this post is me being asked the question:

You are single right? Why are you not on Tinder?

This is a variation of the concern that some people in relationships have for a singleton like me, because according to them being single can’t possibly be good. The implication of the question is that I should be doing something to change that and I should use all the tools and apps available to us now in the Internet age. That I should have no excuses to be single and that I’m single because I’m not making any effort.

So why am I not on Tinder? I last dated seriously about 10 years ago. I can’t explain why I lost interest in the whole process. For a while I thought that I might be asexual but no, every time that I step outside confirms that I’m not. I’m attracted to women and I like looking at women.

And I still have a healthy sex drive. So much so that I’ve paid for sex even though it’s much better when there’s an emotional connection. The empty and unsatisfied feeling after tells me that I was not going to get it from a woman who is paid to be with me. And just to emphasise the healthy sex drive thing, I’ve paid for it more than once even though I know sex is better with a girlfriend than not. And no, the “girlfriend experience” may mimic the real thing but it is still not the real thing.

Despite the lack of physical intimacy though, I’m happy in life. I wake up every morning thinking how lucky it is to be alive and to have the people that I have in my life. I take pleasure from the simple things in life: a delicious meal that I made myself, my mother calling me to ask me about that same meal, the sun shining on my face on a cold day, my friends thinking and telling me that I’m awesome, a delicious alcoholic beverage or ten, and my memories and thoughts about having shared 15 years of my life with Snoop. And one of many things that the Internet is super great for …

A puppy sleeing on its back on a couch
Pictures of sleeping puppies! What … you thought that I was gonna say porn? Ok yeah, porn too.
(source)

Perhaps the above explain why I have not placed much priority into finding someone to date. And I’m sure this goes for others who are similar to me. We don’t need pity or concern when we choose to be single and to value our lives more than by who we are with and what other people think about our marital status. Life is fulfilling in so many other ways.

So until I’m lucky enough to stumble onto the person that I want and she wants me back …

Unlike these women, I am not too classy to watch porn. :)
“’Put the chicken in the fridge.’ This is not a sentence I had ever expected to hear from Christian, and only he can make it sound hot, really hot.”
(source)

I can take care of things myself. 😎

You read my text but you don’t reply. What’s up with that?


July 25, 2016 8:33 PM

Why are you not replying instantly?!
(source: pinterest)

There’s a reason that people text more these days than they would call. Texting allows you time to compose your response and because you don’t know if your recipient has read your message or not, you tended to cut them some slack. An immediate reply is usually not expected.

That was true until the advent of the typing bubble and the read receipt. These two things have combined to cause a lot of psychotic behaviour from otherwise sane people. Now you can see that they’ve read it and sometimes you can see that they are typing out a response but then they stop. Maddening? Yes! Logical? Nope.

Typing bubble disappears and you mad as hell
(source)

Things get complicated further when it comes to dating because some people still adhere to the stupid rule of waiting before replying or sending out that first text. So now, the artifical countdown starts as soon as the two blue ticks appear next to your message. A forlorn cry of “It’s been two days! Why haven’t they replied yet?!” morphs into an angry one of “I know they’ve read it! That bastard/bitch!”

Aziz Ansari feels all of our pain.

My thoughts about how to get out of the above neurotic behavioural cycle are as follows:

  • Don’t wait to text. Just text. A simple text after that first date is nice – “I had a great time. Hope to see you again.” As long as your texts do not outnumber theirs, you are not being too eager or desperate. You are being a decent human being making conversation and showing interest.
  • Don’t wait for the reply. If they don’t reply within a reasonable time frame (1-2 days max) then perhaps they are not that interested in making an effort and that’s ok. Move on. If they message back after a lengthy period without making plans to meet up next and the whole non-replying cycle continues, move on and this time for good.
  • Don’t play mind games. Treat them the way that you want to be treated yourself and if they don’t reciprocate that’s your sign to look elsewhere.

Feel like agonising about this somemore? Then read these:

The Dos and Don’ts of Texting Someone You Want to Date | Lifehacker

How long to wait before I reply back to her text message? – guyQ by AskMen

Dating Sucked Before Text Messages. Now It’s Even Worse. | Jezebel

*Post inspired by TCC

Snoop’s life in pictures


March 19, 2016 8:30 AM

Snoop the dog

My dog Snoop was put down this month (6-3-2016) after giving us 15 years of wonderful memories. Here’s a pictorial tribute to his life.

With Dillon the Alaskan Malamute when he was 4 (2004). Dillon would pass on the following year.

dill-n-snoop-on-floor.jpg dill-n-snoop-on-floor-2.jpg

He really liked to pose as Superman.

Snoop in a superman pose

Here you can see the beginning of a lump near his right paw that forced the amputation of his leg 5 months later (2006).

snoop-face

Him acting like he hasn’t just lost one of his legs (one month after it was amputated in 2007).

Snoop the dog – an update from Marcus Ooi on Vimeo.

He also loved hanging out with mom in the front yard because he can death-stare at the neighbour’s dog (2007). Don’t worry – he was tied to a post.

mom-snoop-garden

This clip of him eating rockmelon was pretty popular back in the day (2009).

Snoop eating rockmelon from Marcus Ooi on Vimeo.

He loved the sun so much that he got skin cancer near his groin (2013). Dayum son.

Snoop sun bathing

This couch was his favourite.

Snoop sleeping on his favourite couch

He loved protecting us.

Snoop. Guardian of the living room.

A photo posted by Marcus Ooi (@real_mooiness) on

Like all dogs, he loved chasing after balls (2015).

Throw it throw it throw it.

A photo posted by Marcus Ooi (@real_mooiness) on

And then he’d chew on it in this position (2014).

The downward dog.

A photo posted by Marcus Ooi (@real_mooiness) on

His final resting place is one of his favourite spots in the backyard.

Snoop's ashes being buried in the backyard

Snoop's plaque

Smiling and wagging your tail till the end,You didn't make it easy.But there's a time to be strong,And there's a…

Posted by Marcus Ooi on Saturday, March 5, 2016

Why aren’t you asking her out?


February 7, 2016 9:07 PM


(source: xkcd)

I’ve wrote about this before, about having to justify being single as I grow older. And three years after I wrote that, it’s only getting worse. Society just cannot understand why one would choose singledom over being attached to someone. At times, this attitude is downright hostile.

OMG, you are 40?! Don’t be so choosy. You are not getting any younger. What’s wrong with her? Why do you want to be alone? What’s the matter with you?

The fact that my parents and family are gently nudging me constantly is a given and I am ok with that. My parents’ generation grew up at a time when it’s highly frowned upon if you are not married by 30. Their worry comes from a good place. Mom actually said to me, “I don’t want you to die alone”. It’s ok mom, I won’t die alone – they’d find my body next to a fembot. The technology will exist when I’m 70 right? :mrgreen:

I kid. Relationships exist in many forms now and the traditional man-woman monogamy thing is not necessarily the most fulfilling one out there. Yes, someone still needs to procreate to keep our species going but I don’t think that’s a problem at the moment. I would think that people of my generation and even the one after mine would not care so much about having a partner to validate their existence but I would be wrong.

I would be out in mixed company of single people and people in various stages of a relationship, and without fail there is an expectation on me as a single male to be trying to hook up with one of the single females on the night. As a Chinese person, I used to get “oh she’s Chinese too, you two should hit it off”. Now it’s “oh she’s single, you should ask her out”. Hey friend, I just wanna enjoy my alcoholic beverage(s) in this loud and noisy environment looking at the various women walking around the place. No, I don’t want to ask all of them out and yes I can enjoy looking without wanting to buy the goods.

I’m more inclined to let things happen naturally, for the conversation to flow and the laughs to be shared effortlessly. And then maybe, I might ask her out. Or I might not. Don’t worry about my state of mind – it’s perfectly fine where it is. And yes, I like sex with women but it doesn’t mean that I need to plug every available hole that walks my way. Kthxbai.

Yes I'm single and you gotta be fucking awesome to change that

My heritage vs my country of birth


September 5, 2015 3:29 PM

I’m a proud Australian of Malaysian heritage. I like to tell people that I grew up in Perth, and when I tell people that I’m Chinese, I always add “from Malaysia”. I’m proud of every component of my upbringing and my culture. I like to think of myself as a rainbow of colours and influences.

My first 14 years of life was spent in Kuala Lumpur. My dad was second generation Malaysian Chinese, and mom was first generation. Both were born in Penang. Dad was English educated and mom was Chinese educated. So while they both look Chinese, culturally they were different but what they had in common was being Malaysian. They both studied university in Australia (dad in Ballarat and mom in Sydney). They didn’t meet until they went to KL for work. I’ve written a bit more about them previously.

I’m telling you all of this to show you the stuff that I was born into. Then, living in Malaysia up till my early teens I enjoyed going to school and learning three languages (English, Malay, Mandarin) and thought that was the most natural thing ever. And also picking up Cantonese and Hokkien on the side – the dialects that the Chinese speak in KL and Penang, respectively. I enjoyed switching between all of that as much as I enjoyed celebrating each other’s religious and cultural holidays. I enjoy eating Chinese food, Malay food, Indian food and everything else in between. I hate to use the word “fusion” but it really was that. And I enjoyed seeing Malaysians of all races enjoying each other’s foods unless not allowed to by their religion (ie. halal vs. non-halal).

whos-the-cute-smiling-girl
Dat uniform tho

I enjoy speaking in the colloquial English shared by both Malaysians and Singaporeans, better known as “Singlish“. I enjoy the rivalry between our two peoples – hey Singaporeans, Hainanese Chicken Rice was invented by us ok? Just give it up already. Hahahah!

All of which is to say, yes I’m proud to have come from Malaysia and all that it entails. But, I’m not proud of Malaysia as a country. As John Oliver has joked, Australia can be a bit too comfortably and casually racist. However, at least the racism is not systemic and built into the laws like it is in Malaysia. The affirmative action policy in Malaysia (one that overwhelmingly benefits the dominant race in the country) ensures the following:

  • 30% of the equity of publicly-listed companies are reserved for a Malay person(s) or entity
  • 85% of the civil service (besides teachers) are Malay
  • And the biggest bugbear and cause of brain drain from the country, and why my parents uprooted us to move to Australia in 1988 – 75% of university places are reserved for the Malays. Ostensibly, this quota system was removed in 2002 but bias persists still.

A Never Ending Policy | The Economist
Is Malaysia university entry a level playing field? – BBC News

And yet, more than 50 years after independence from the British ultra-nationalistic Malay politicians in the UMNO party (United Malays National Organisation) still refer to the Chinese and Indians in the country as immigrants even though both races have been there way before the Dutch, the Portugese or the British. They constantly play to the racist view that their special rights as Malays are being impinged upon, especially by the Chinese. All of this where the laws are written in favour of them and where important levers of the government (political, judiciary, military) are dominated by Malays. All of this when UMNO is the dominant political party in the ruling coalition since independence.

Bersih4 rally in KL
Bersih4 rally in KL
(source)

What prompted me to write this post are the events that happened recently, whereby USD700 million of funny money appeared to have been funneled into the PM’s account and how he subsequently fired his deputy PM who was critical of this, and the attorney general who was leading the investigations into it. And people who participated in the massive street rallies that followed did so under threat of arrest.

Investigators Believe Money Flowed to Malaysian Leader Najib’s Accounts Amid 1MDB Probe – WSJ
Why Malaysians are disillusioned with Najib Razak – BBC News

But the depressing thing about this is, it has happened before when another PM (Mahathir) fired another deputy PM (Anwar Ibrahim) in 1998. And before that, he has also locked up anyone who dared questioned his behaviour and policies.

BBC News | Asia-Pacific | Malaysia’s deputy prime minister fired
Operation Lalang – Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

And what is hilarious about it is that Mahathir seems to have felt that the current PM has gone too far, even by his standards.

I want to say that not all Malays are part of or agree with UMNO (just like not all Australians agree with Tony Abbott’s stance against refugees – a topic for another day) but the rot will not stop until UMNO decides to stop it which is unlikely. Why would they when the current system perpetuates their dominance, their existence and their illicit ways? And that is what is depressing about Malaysia as a country. Malaysia may be close to being “Truly Asia” but it is not even close to being “1Malaysia”.

Nasi Lemak, Malaysia's national dish
Nasi Lemak – the one thing that all Malaysians agree on
(source)

ps. If you are Malaysian and you can vote, please exercise your civil rights and do so. Thanks for reading. This has been a long one. 🙂

Stop being so sensitive? How about you stop being so racist?


July 30, 2015 8:47 PM

Nicky Winmar
Was Nicky Winmar also overly-sensitive?

Picture this scenario: someone tells what they think is a light-hearted racist joke, and someone else of the race that the joke is making fun of gets upset, and then that first someone tells the second someone “Oh don’t be so sensitive”. Those who says that most definitely have not suffered any kind of racism or discrimination.

Unless you have lived as an ethnic minority for most of your life, you cannot fully understand how hurtful racial slurs are. Yes, you may have been called names yourselves: bastard, wanker and cunt. But these words attack your person and not your race. They are nothing compared to the words that cut deep into who you are and cannot change: chink, kike, lebbo, curry muncher and black cunt. The last of which is what many non-white players in the AFL have been subjected to. It wasn’t difficult for me to find these examples below, some from a few decades ago and some recent.

Adam Goodes

Which brings us to Adam Goodes and him taking essentially stress leave away from the game, because of the racial abuse that he has copped over the years. Some people have said that he’s being overly sensitive and that if he’s playing in the big leagues, he should just get over it. If the abuse and booing had no racial overtones, then I’d agree with them. I will also agree with them that not all AFL fans are racist. But can they honestly tell me that he was never racially vilified and that some of the booing was not racist in nature? No, they can’t.

And to those who said that they’ve been called names too but they’d moved on and didn’t let it affect them, you haven’t gone through it on the national stage under spotlight. You hadn’t had your reaction to the racist behaviour called “provocation”. You had not been called overly dramatic for calling out a 13 year old girl who called you an “ape”. But you know what? Adam Goodes can be as dramatic as he wants about racist behaviour when the mother of that girl, the mother who excuses her daughter’s behaviour, wants him to apologise to her daughter. Him to apologise. HIM! Fuck you, lady.

I’m glad that Adam Goodes did his war dance, and that Lewis Jetta backed him up a few months later.

Lewis Jetta

To all the white folks out there who wish Aboriginals wouldn’t get offended by words despite all the injustices dealt their way over a couple of centuries, here’s a bit of advice: Don’t make a complete hypocrite of yourself by getting offended because an indigenous player dances a jig and pretends to throw a spear (or boomerang).

Those booing Adam Goodes just don t get it – The West Australian

I’m also glad that there are support from others in the AFL too, and also from the NRL.

Players considering ways to support Goodes this weekend – AFL.com.au
NRL backs Johnathan Thurston, Greg Inglis in Adam Goodes support. | dailytelegraph.com.au

So yeah, we will stop being overly sensitive when you stop being racist pricks.

Love is Love


June 28, 2015 8:56 PM

Is it love in the air or ... ?
Don’t eat bacon if you don’t want to piss off God (Leviticus 11:7)
(source)

This weekend saw the United States legalising same-sex marriage across all 50 states. This comes after Canada did it in July 2005, the UK in July 2013 (with the exception of Northern Ireland), and New Zealand shortly after that in August 2013. Ireland is also soon to do so following approval of a referendum on 22 May 2015. Not to mention a whole swathe of European countries having already done the same.

Same-sex marriage in Canada – Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Same-sex marriage in the United Kingdom – Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Same-sex marriage in New Zealand – Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Same-sex marriage in the Republic of Ireland – Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Therefore, as of right now Australia is a very noticeable anomaly amongst developed western countries, though there is starting to be some political momentum to establish marriage equality in this country too.

US Supreme Court ruling in favour of same-sex marriage could influence debate in Australia, federal politicians say – ABC News (Australian Broadcasting Corporation)

So it is a question of when rather than if it will happen here so I won’t talk about that. Instead, I want to talk about why it is illogical that same-sex marriage freaks out so many straight/religious people everywhere.

Religious opposition stems from the Book of Leviticus 18:22 and 20:13. But if you adhere to one Old Testament Law, then you should adhere to others too like:

  • Not wear polyester or other fabric blends (Leviticus 19:19)
  • Not eat shellfish even though they are so delicious (Leviticus 11:10)
  • Not touch a woman who’s on her period – how would I know? Is it ok to ask? (Leviticus 15:19)

The above is perfectly illustrated by this clip from “The West Wing”.

No one is expecting you to accept same-sex couples in your place of worship, nor can you be forced to. In any case, they would probably prefer to be somewhere else more welcoming. You are not expected to understand or condone their relationships but you can at least be civil. Remember “love thy neighbour” (Mark 12:31)? Why all the hate and bigotry? Why this need to feel threatened by their love?

For the non-religious straight people, same-sex marriage does not affect your ability to do the same. Their marriage is their marriage, and your marriage is your marriage. All the talk about how same-sex marriage will destroy the sacred institution that is marriage is bogus too because straight people have been doing a pretty good job at trying to destroy it since forever, and yet it endures. The sanctity of marriage is stronger than you give it credit for.

And if it is not the sanctity of marriage that you are worried about, but because gay/lesbian sex makes you feel icky inside then stop thinking about it, you pervs.

I will end by quoting this article:

If it’s true – as Republicans insist – that marriage is good for the family and for society more generally, then how is growing the institution a bad thing? There’s nothing positive about marriage that can’t be preserved or enhanced by allowing more human beings to participate in it.

Go away, Mike Huckabee: The culture wars are over — and hate and the GOP lost – Salon.com