A few years back, my mom sat my brother and I down for a “chat”.
Mom: I know you both are having sex.
Me and my bro: Ewww, that’s sick mom!
Mom: Not with each other lah! But with your girlfriends. Aiyer.
Me and my bro: Orh …
Mom: And I don’t know if this has happened already or not, but I’d prefer it that there’d be no sex in the house.
Me and my bro: *sniggers* Oh I think we gathered that. *winks at mom*
Mom: I’m serious. No sex in the house.
My bro: So we can do it in their houses but not ours?
Mom: *nods*
Me: So if I did it in my car whilst parked inside the garage, that’d be ok?
My bro: How bout if I pitched a tent in the backyard, get some sleeping bags …
Mom: Don’t try to be cheeky!
Me: We are not trying …
Mom: Have some respect! No sex in the house!
I was 26 – then and there I thought that it’s about time I moved out. I’ve done a lot of practicing on my bed and for once I’d like to have a real-life partner on it without feeling guilty about it. That and my mom prefers a neat and tidy garden over my dog.
Off I went looking for a place. I didn’t go too far – I moved back into our previous house. My parents had it rented out and didn’t really like the tenants. As for housemates, I found 4 girls. Before you get too envious of me (like every one of my friends at the time), one is one of my brother’s numerous exes and the other three had boyfriends. So they were off-limits. Though on many occasions, I did get to see them in their cute pyjamas and them walking out the shower with only their towels wrapped around them. Mmmm.
In any case, my social life did improve. We were going out a lot and the girls were always having ppl over, and I met a lot of new ppl that way. However, my sex life didn’t change much. Truth be told, my strike rate was about the same. The only difference is that I now had a bigger bed to practice on.
My brother? He’s the same age now as I was when I moved out. He’s still living at home and is proud of it. Think about it: he doesn’t pay rent, his laundry is done for him and he gets 3 meals a day for free. All he has to do in return is do some occasional housework and give my parents some company. Why would any sane person wanna give that up? I guess in the end, he figured he can always have sex elsewhere but it’s harder to find a woman that’s willing to be his domestic slave as well. And for that mom, you have my greatest admiration and gratitude. Don’t suppose I can move back in? 
12 Responses to “Generation Stay-At-Home”
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6 years down the track I think you would appreciate your mom now than back then. I think your mom deserves a pat in the back! Anyways, you like sex on the beach anyhow.
Manila
Err yeah….the drink! Sex on the beach would just get sand into places where it shouldn’t be.
But yes I do appreciate my mom very much.
I can’t imagine my parents openly talking about sex like that!! And I’m not sure I want them to. Hmm…
starry: I won’t call it “open”. We never got taught the “basics” by my parents – we both learnt it from books and school. But yes your parents talking about sex to you just makes you think of them having sex. *shudder*
Hmm. I don’t think my mom actually ever specifically forbade sex in the house, although she did tell me not to bring Playboy videos home. So while they were at work, it was ON.
Funny, though, how we spend several teenage years hating everything about them and wanting to get out on our own; then, after spending some time on our own, we realize how well we had it and want to go back. I was lucky enough to move back in with my folks after the military (not that that was the best move I could have made), and I never again made a peep about their rules. And they were much better company, too.
curtis: hahaha I’ve done the sneaking a porno video during the day thing too. You’re right about wanting to move out and get some privacy and independence etc., and then realising living on your own is *hard* work.
I think if they treat you like an adult as far as your opinions are concerned, parents are ok to live with. And it’s sweet to have home-cooked meals among the other benefits of living at home.
Thanks for sharing that story, Mooiness
I don’t fully understand why parents have that rule – I guess you have to be a parent to get it. Still I can’t be too harsh on parents, kids can be pretty difficult too – my mother was pregnant when I was 15 and I remember I was horrified (my parents had sex?!?!) and quite rude about it…
cw: I think I would have the opposite thinking. If I have kids I’d rather know that they are doing it in a relatively hygienic place and using protection. Rather than say, “I don’t wanna know about it, and don’t talk to me about it.”
This is soo funny! I can imagine how the conversation went on. haha.. You are really crazy!
I didn’t read this until recently (ok.. today). Really wished we could know each other while I was still in Perth man. You sound, think and blog like a great, funny man. And as with you, I find myself click better with someone younger than me, rather than my current (same age) friends.
Anyway, good thing I found out bout your blog (through Karen’s actually, another great blogger) and yea, keep up the good work.
Indra: thanks for the lavish praise! Yeah Karen is very cool. And who knows, maybe our paths will cross in real life some day.
[...] still live with my parents. But least you think that I had never ever left home: I had moved out to our family’s old home in 2001, but then my parents sold their new house in 2006 and moved back into the old one. [...]