世上只有妈妈好
shi shang zhi you ma ma hao

有妈的孩子像个宝
you ma di hai zi xiang ge bao

Only mom is the best in this world
A child with a mother is like a piece of treasure

A traditional hymn sung to children

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Mom and dad are leaving for China tonight for 2 weeks. Which means I gotta fend for myself at dinner time till they get back. I got my menu planned already:

• Spaghetti Bolognese
• Tuna Pasta
• Lasagne
• Chicken and Mushroom Marinara
• Chicken Porridge
• Fish Porridge
• Pork Porridge
• … and your assorted junk food - McD, HJs (BK), KFC, Nandos, Chicken Treat/Red Rooster, Fish-n-Chips

Plus lotsa red wine and beer. Wooo, it’s gonna be soooo healthy. NOT.

You just got a glimpse into how I eat if I have to cook myself. Simple fares using pre-made sauces from the supermarket (the Italian dishes), quick-to-cook (the porridges), and for when I just can’t be arsed (the junk food). It’d be great cos my cousin lives with me and cooking is infinitely more enjoyable when there’s company.

She’s back! Woohoo! She had a little scrape against a roadside kerb and got banged up real good. Nothing a little plastic surgery and a BIG HOLE in the wallet wouldn’t fix.

A quick recap: one night after clubbing on the way home, I slided whilst going straight (my fault, I stepped on it) on a wet road and hit a kerb on the left side of the car.

Damaged: rear suspension arm, left-side shock absorbers, front bumper, left-side tyres. I was lucky I didn’t damage the intercooler - now that would have been painful. Repaired: everything except for the shocks - gotta wait till next month for obvious reasons. Roadworthy but a bit jittery due to now very soft shocks.

2 days after the accident:

Today:

And because a certain friend of Mili’s had been stalking my blog, patiently waiting for pics of my car. Here’s more … whoever you are, enjoy!

Full size pics are here.

Benny no wan famous liao,
so y’all have to make do with my lame impersonation

There’s this famous, but who rather not be, blogger called Benny. Benny writes witty commentaries on things he sees in real life and stuff he reads online. Benny is good with PhotoShop. Benny had been steadily gaining fans until sometime in late May 2005 when he attained blogebrity status, and gained even more fans.

For a while Benny revelled in it. His blog’s traffic shot through the roof and so did the number of comments left by his fans. He was recognised on the streets. He was mobbed by chio-bu Singaporean bloggers. He even got proposed to by the local blog princess there, Falling Sh*t.

Then haters came. Haters blogged about him. Haters flamed him right, left and centre. Benny was shocked at what fame has brought him. How can I continue to blog like this? I didn’t ask for fame. I just want to be left alone to write. Oh, woe is me.

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Benny, whether you like it or not, you are famous now. Continue complaining about it and you’d just come across as a patronising hypocrite. Fame may be a bitch but you are still riding it.

You could’ve easily taken steps to reduce the publicity if you wanted to - do less interviews, don’t appear in public conventions, whatever. I don’t see other “famous” bloggers complaining about their fame. Only you and your princess have done that so far.

If you hadn’t gotten famous there’d still be ppl who would disagree with you. And there will always be jealous and petty ppl who’d dislike you no matter how nice you think you are. Life is like that Benny.

You said that you didn’t choose fame, that fame chose u. Fine, I give you that. So why then were you so worked up by someone who didn’t think that you deserved to be famous, that you said this about her?

Besides, Su-Yin got into a car accident soon after that entry, so all’s fair.

With that comment, I think that you’ve stepped over the lines of common decency. Equating something as insignificant as bloglitics (your word and something you spoke with disdain of before) to something potentially fatal was crass. You could have chosen a better way to deal with it (remember “humour”?) but instead you chose to be vindictive.

Imagine your fans’ and your own indignation if someone had paraphrased it this way:

Besides, Benny’s dad died soon after that entry, so all’s fair.

I was a fan and you gained a lot of goodwill from me with your writings. I even donated to the Blogathon that you helped organised. But alas, you are close to squandering all that goodwill. Continue this way and you’d not only get more haters, you’d also start to lose discerning readers like me - actually, I’m almost out the door.

I don’t hate you Benny - I’m more indifferent. And you know what, indifference works better than hate because there’s no emotional investment, and no wasted time and energy. Maybe you can learn how to use it.

UPDATE 29th Sep 2005 9:12AM - Footnote

Read his “If Everyone Followed Advice On The Internet” post as reference to this footnote.

I should add that the point of this post is not to question if Benny deserves his fame or not, but to criticise his behaviour in handling his fame. Benny deserves his fame because his writings are funny. He can do as many interviews as he wants and attend any number of public meetings but it is highly hypocritical of him that he then complains about the publicity. F**k that.

You are an 80s child if you can recognise these snippets of various songs:

1. Guilty feet have got no rhythm
2. Take a look at yourself and make that change
3. I just can’t seem to get enough of
4. ‘Cos I’m living in a material world
5. It’s hot here at night, lonely, black and quiet
   On a hot summer night
6. This year to save me from tears, I’m giving it to someone special
7. East-end boys and West-end girls
8. Oceans apart, day after day
9. Take me on, I’ll be gone in a day or two
10. I’m on the hunt I’m after you
11. I’ve been walking these streets at night, just trying to get it right
12. Let it all out
    These are the things I can do without
    Come On

Here are the answers for you non-80′ers. If you *are* a child of the 80s and you can’t figure them out, shame on you.

1. Careless Whisper - George Michael
2. Man in the Mirror - Michael Jackson
3. Can’t Get Enough - Depeche Mode
4. Material Girl - Madonna
5. Summer in the City - Billy Idol
6. Last Christmas - Wham
7. West-End Girls - Pet Shop Boys
8. Right Here Waiting - Richard Marx
9. Take On Me - A-Ha
10. Hungry Like A Wolf - Duran Duran
11. Patience - Guns & Roses
12. Shout - Tears for Fears

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I’ve been humming “Careless Whisper” this whole morning since hearing it on the radio on the way into work.

It just recently dawned on me that my dad married my mom when he was 31 - my age this year. And it further dawned on me that he became a father to me when he was 32 - one year from now. As I reflected on this I began to realise that I’m no where near having the right mentality to marry and be a father.

I’m a Late Bloomer. I know it, I’m not ashamed of it and I’m not in a rush. But I know they’d like to see me marry, and settle down and produce them some grandchildren. Just to add a little pressure onto myself, my dad’s the first son of his family, I’m his first son and I’m also the first grandchild with the family name. Which means I’m meant to produce an heir to the family name. Pressure.

Because of *all* that, a lot of conversations would be had with my parents on the topic of finding a wife. Here are some samples.

Mom: How about so-and-so’s daughter?
Me: Cannot lah, she’s too Christian.
Mom: What’s wrong with Christians?
Me: First of all, Christians prefer other Christians. I’m not becoming one just to get a wife. Second, staunch Christians don’t party - I don’t think she’s even been in a club.
Mom: How you know they don’t party? You take her clubbing and see lah.
Me: Har?! Cannot lah!
Mom: You never try, how you know?
Me: She’s so kwai. She definitely wouldn’t like it. It’s not just clubbing lah - she doesn’t look like the sociable type.
Mom: No wonder you no girlfriend. Too kwai also cannot. Sociable got use meh? So high standards for what? You think you damn in demand ah? Anyway, why must you club so much?
Me: … *bruises all over*

Dad is much simpler. He’d either point out girls that he thinks are pretty to me or he offers shallow critiques to the ones that I point out to him.

Nice body.
Nice face, so-so body.
Like “prawn” like that. (direct translation of Hokkien slang for ugly face. I’ve always wondered - what do prawns have to do with female faces?)
Aiyor, lu eh bak jiu tak stamp ah? (Hokkien slang literally meaning, “Have you got a stamp covering your eye?”)
So flat, might as well marry a boy.
Wah that one will crush you.

Mom, all my high standards I got from dad - and he picked you. So they are good standards to live by right? Wahahaha….

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This post is partly inspired by my conversation with Mili and how her dad said things like, “How to marry you off like that?” and when she got engaged, “That guy don’t know how to choose wife.” Hah!

Family (or friends), good food, great conversation - my mantra. This was dinner last night at the local Japanese restaurant, Nishi - “local” meaning less than 10 minutes away. My brother Marvin’s friend is a cook there and we usually get up-sized free of charge. Not that we go for just that, the food *is* good. If you know it and you are in the area, must try their Teppanyaki Beef. Yum.

Mili put me on a quest to get photos of my night out. Specifically those of hot chicks. Well I tried but I don’t think I did too well …

The night started out at The Deen as per usual. This is my partner in crime, Simon. Why do I look like a stunned mullet and/or constipated? Cannot smile issit!?

It was packed out. Even though I wasn’t using my flash it was still hard to take pictures of girls when ppl are constantly walking around me and, if I had to take a pic I had to be up close. I wasn’t gonna risk getting slapped, drinks poured on me or worse - beaten up, so the opportunities were few and far between.

The place is full of many bars in different areas. This is my regular one because we know one of the bartenders, Amy. You can’t really tell from the pic (right) but she’s HOT. Black hair, green eyes, highly bootylicious. Woo.

Anyways, talked to this bunch of Italians and they intro’d a drink to me called “Jager Bull” - a shot glass of Jagermeister dropped into a tall glass of Redbull and scoal. Yum. New favourite drink.

We usually stick to the main area which plays mainly commercial house. Just to give you an idea how packed it was …

Here’s an attempt at taking a photo of some hot chicks - dancers up on the dance rails.

After about two hours at The Deen, we headed to The Rise. Hard trance and drum-n-bass - perfect for some feng-tau (head-shaking) when you are slightly intoxicated.

I spotted a cute chick on a stage so I began stalking her (Mili, see what you’ve turned me into! Wahahah!) …

We were at The Rise for an hour before fatigue caught up with us - we feng-tau’ed for a solid hour without stopping. Woo, thanks to regular exercise for the stamina. And I wore sneakers too. Smart ah, I didn’t wake up with sore knees and ankles. Plus this is a long weekend! Woohoo!