It just recently dawned on me that my dad married my mom when he was 31 - my age this year. And it further dawned on me that he became a father to me when he was 32 - one year from now. As I reflected on this I began to realise that I’m no where near having the right mentality to marry and be a father.

I’m a Late Bloomer. I know it, I’m not ashamed of it and I’m not in a rush. But I know they’d like to see me marry, and settle down and produce them some grandchildren. Just to add a little pressure onto myself, my dad’s the first son of his family, I’m his first son and I’m also the first grandchild with the family name. Which means I’m meant to produce an heir to the family name. Pressure.

Because of *all* that, a lot of conversations would be had with my parents on the topic of finding a wife. Here are some samples.

Mom: How about so-and-so’s daughter?
Me: Cannot lah, she’s too Christian.
Mom: What’s wrong with Christians?
Me: First of all, Christians prefer other Christians. I’m not becoming one just to get a wife. Second, staunch Christians don’t party - I don’t think she’s even been in a club.
Mom: How you know they don’t party? You take her clubbing and see lah.
Me: Har?! Cannot lah!
Mom: You never try, how you know?
Me: She’s so kwai. She definitely wouldn’t like it. It’s not just clubbing lah - she doesn’t look like the sociable type.
Mom: No wonder you no girlfriend. Too kwai also cannot. Sociable got use meh? So high standards for what? You think you damn in demand ah? Anyway, why must you club so much?
Me: … *bruises all over*

Dad is much simpler. He’d either point out girls that he thinks are pretty to me or he offers shallow critiques to the ones that I point out to him.

Nice body.
Nice face, so-so body.
Like “prawn” like that. (direct translation of Hokkien slang for ugly face. I’ve always wondered - what do prawns have to do with female faces?)
Aiyor, lu eh bak jiu tak stamp ah? (Hokkien slang literally meaning, “Have you got a stamp covering your eye?”)
So flat, might as well marry a boy.
Wah that one will crush you.

Mom, all my high standards I got from dad - and he picked you. So they are good standards to live by right? Wahahaha….

This post is partly inspired by my conversation with Mili and how her dad said things like, “How to marry you off like that?” and when she got engaged, “That guy don’t know how to choose wife.” Hah!