* CAUTION : Very sarcastic one ah! *
There’s once this sibeh HOT blogger … wah see her I nose bleed already. But hor, she wouldn’t reply to my emails leh. Cibai! How dare her? The insolence!
Then I decide to make her eat humble pie. Because why? Because I so in love with her and she bo-chap me lah! I decide to use my Jedi Mind Trick on her. Last time I practice on my dog, I said “Sit!” and my dog sit. Don’t play a fool - Jedi Mind Trick ah! Star Wars man!
Anyway I use my Jedi Mind Trick on this chaboh. I make her write racist words. I make her insult KL ppl and KL. Wah damn shiok lah. First time I see my Jedi Mind Trick work so well. Fuiyoh. I scared myself.
Then of course every Malaysian and KL ppl come and kaopeh-kaobu her lah. Wah liao eh, flame so good I almost want to have BBQ ah. But then kanasai, the siao chaboh still ok after that. Never apologise somemore. Then I go back to see what had happened to her blog. Eh, where are the racist words? No more liao! F**k! PLAN B!
This time I must power-up my Jedi Mind Trick. I go and drink yeen-woh and chicken essence. I make ginseng soup. My mother said tong-kwai also good but for girls only but I don’t care I anyhow drink also. Then I also eat teen-7. Wah liao my body go all haywire ah, hot cold hot cold. But then, my powers become more powderful. It was worth it. Time for action.
I Jedi Mind Trick her again. This time I make her say that disabled ppl are rude, that the special toilets are for everyone, that whatever inconveniences her is bad. Because why?
Because I’m Princess Leia and a member of the Imperial Senate!
But chialat … my Jedi Mind Trick didn’t work completely - she somehow mentioned that her brother was smarter and more understanding than her. Wah, first time I see the chaboh so modest sia. KNN I don’t care. This time confirm ppl will get outraged again. How can she insult the less mobile and less fortunate and get away with it!?
I also pretend to be this lan-chiao blogger called Mooiness and went and left a comment. This lan-chiao lang always so damn polite one. It was very hard to be like him. Dunno how he do it. Must ask him to transfer his hei to me. Anyway so left a nice comment say cannot be like that lah, must be more tolerant and respectful lah. I almost vomited. Then I waited. And waited.
Then Peter Tan wrote a nice informative story about why the special toilets are not for everyone. I thought ho-say-liao! Then soon everyone joined in and blogged about it. Flame here flame there again. But then …. siao chaboh still don’t apologise! Nabeh!
Ok loh like that what to do right? Then Superman flew in. Kimberly Cun also came. Why she damn cun lah. I nose bleed again. Peter Tan also flew in on his super-wheelchair. Wah Superfriends sia.
I said to Superman, “Eh limpeh beh song leh. How?!” Superman said, “Nair mind. You leave it to us.” And the rest … well, you know the rest.
Trackbacks/Pings
11 Responses to “In a Blogosphere Far Far Away”
-
Oct 26 2005 / 6:02 pm
dude, u seem to be treading over to the dark side. all this name-calling, mudslinging should just end. the whole anti-xx shebang and its post-truimphant declaration is getting quite irritating.
quite frankly, i feel there’s quite frankly no moral highground on either side. remember, anakin thought he was doing a whole lotta good when he massacred the Jedi council =)
-
Oct 26 2005 / 6:53 pm
-
Oct 26 2005 / 10:48 pm
OMG you siao already!!!???
Hahahahhaha…..sibeh hou chio..I know all men dream bout bonking Princess Leia and her doughnuts at some point in their life,but you are going an extra step by transforming into Princess Leia!
I cannot stop laughing…hahahahaha!
-
Oct 26 2005 / 11:04 pm
-
Oct 27 2005 / 3:05 am
omg…
interesting sarcastic theory tho…
so what are the chances of the “subject” elevating herself to queen status and tries to command everyone to kiss her boots?
oh wait, i think the “subject” has been there, done that already…
lemmings..
nice coordination of the plot…
a rather amusing one to say the least..
-
Oct 27 2005 / 8:07 am
ryosuke ida: haha….I dunno the inspiration just hit me late in the afternoon. And you are right, I think she already thinks of herself as Queen rather than Princess.
You will respect my authoritah! -
Oct 27 2005 / 11:35 am
“Respect my authoritah”? Interesting quote from another equally offensive, racist, sexist mass-media television show. Doesn’t mean you’re gonna write to Trey Parker and Matt Stone’s advertisers asking them to stop supporting bad role models, or storm into the cinema showing Team America: World Police carrying placards that says “Boycott Products by Bad Role Models” right?
I’m pretty sure there’s more ignorant white people out there said “Thank You Come Again!” to Indians as a result of The Simpsons, than there are Chinese who said “You Malay fucker, I hit you with a pig” as a result of one insignificant blogger from Singapore. What Wendy wrote is politically incorrect and its bad, I give you that. But you don’t write to Matt Groening demanding an apology for intentionally causing hurt to the Indians’ feelings.
But let’s take XX out of the equation since you know my stance on this and I know your stance on this. If there’s one thing we agree on, it would be our despise for racism. You don’t have to show me proof that you took action when Pauline Hanson made her maiden speech, I take your word for it.
If there’s one thing I learnt after 4 years of activism with National Union of Students and 2 years sitting on the Cultural Diversity Board at Curtin University, is that most people (99% of the population) agree that racism is bad. Overt forms of racism is bad. One Nation Party is bad. Ku Klux Klan is bad. Nazism is bad. Stormfront.org is bad. The White Australia Policy is bad. The National Economic Policy is bad. The Rwandan genocide is bad.However, I’m also realistic in that I believe 100% total eradication of racism is impossible. Everyone of us, including you and me, is racist to some small, small extent. Everyone of us is guilty of laughing at a racist joke at least once in our lives.
I believe that to live in harmony in a multicultural society, racial tolerance does not just being nice to a someone of a different skin colour. As crazy and as radical as it sounds, living in racial harmony also means we should accept the fact that subtle forms of stereotype is inevitable. Politically-incorrectly pointing out a person’s most obvious assets (eg race, hair colour, physical attributes) is bad, but at the end of the day it’s just part of human nature.
-
Oct 27 2005 / 12:03 pm
-
Oct 27 2005 / 1:34 pm
Sikit sikit, lama jadi bukit.
I do not think that we should advocate the acceptance of ’some’ racism. If we start advocating and accepting subtle traits of racism (which, by the way, xx displayed more than subtle signs of hitting a malay fucker with a pig), then we are just telling kids that it is OK to be racist, if only just a little bit.
Oh, don’t go killing people,but if you want to hit Malays with a pig, it’s ok.
Because it ain’t
So stop blaming the messenger. Blame the person that wrote the message.
-
Oct 27 2005 / 2:14 pm
sourrain: i heart you!
Leave a Reply
You might also be interested in these
- Less Tammy, More Daphne
- Fireangel does Harajuku
- italk2much reviews kennysia.com
- Blogosphere bitch fest called “Amanda Congdon”
- Avoid Sowing the Seeds of Hate
[...] So the other day I go and ask that lan-chiao blogger Mooiness to transfer some of his 气 to me. He asked me why. I said, “I damn toolan lah.” [...]