* CAUTION: Hokkien and Cantonese vulgarities ahead! *
气 = Qi (Mandarin) = Hei (Cantonese)

So the other day I go and ask that lan-chiao blogger Mooiness to transfer some of his 气 to me. He asked me why. I said, “I damn toolan lah.”

The lan-chiao lang then said, “Simi toolan?” And I said, “There’s this sorhai lah. Damn two-faced, say one thing here and say another there. Ma hai!” The Mooiness then said, “If so toolan, then go and tiu 9 him lah!” But then I said, “No, I want to be more polite and responsible. I don’t want ppl say me ‘personal vendetta’. I want to change my image.”

He said, “Simi lampah image lah lu! Look at you like damn ah-beng like that!” I said, “Woi, ppl come here because I respect your 气 ok!? Don’t anyhow insult me hor? Ah-Beng cannot have good image ah!?”

Then he ok ok ok. We proceed to do the 气-transfer ritual. Don’t look that fellow no up man. He short short only ah but I can feel his power man. Sibeh geng ah. Oi! Not down there lah! F**k you ok, limpeh like chabohs one ok?!


So then the 气 is transferred right, I feel instantly more polite and responsible liao. Like I want to say “thanks hor” to every ah-too and ah-kow. Wah lau eh, definitely not me man. It’s the power of the 气. Steady sia.

After talking with the sorhai for a while right, I started to feel the 气 leaving my body. Why is this happening? I think the sorhai sucked out all the good 气 from me man. Like the Chinese proverb say: give him respect wine he don’t want to drink, he want to drink punishment wine ah. I feel like tiu 9 him again. But I tahan.


I go back to Mooiness and ask for more 气. He said, “This fellow so sorhai no need to waste anymore 气 on him lah. You know right, some ppl already think he’s a sorhai loh.”

I said, “Don’t bluff! That sorhai is so well-liked one leh, how can?”

Mooiness said, “Those other ppl never see his many faces mah.”

Then Mooiness also said, “You see ah, even though you are so ah-beng face right, you got one face only. Look at me, I also got one face only right?”

I said, “Eh yeah hor.”

Mooiness said, “But that sorhai right, he show one face to some ppl and he show another to other ppl. Like that Sichuan Opera Face-Changing like that. Face keep changing, which face to talk to har? Ppl also sian already lah. Right or not?”

I said, “Wah lau eh. Your theory is solid sia. Nabeh! Then why didn’t you tell me earlier??? Waste time transfer 气 for f**k ah???”

Mooiness said, “Sorry lah. Your body damn power mah. I want to touch only.”

I said, “KNNBCCB!!!!!”