No no, I do not suffer from that problem at all. In fact I’ve mastered the technique whereby I’d zone out, breath in through my mouth (cos you don’t want to breath in with your nose in a public loo) and breath out. If you do it right, you’d be relaxed enough that when you breath out, the pee would come naturally as well.

Failing that, there’s the other technique of waiting until you really have to go. So when you get up to the urinal you’d be gushing away like a wide opened tap (cool imagery, I know). However, you got to time this right because if you are already bursting at the seams and there’s 10 guys in front of you, chances are you’re gonna pee in your pants right there and then.

Or you can risk the humiliation and the disgusted looks by going into the ladies. But guess what though? Usually the female toilets are more packed than the mens – why must they all go in pairs?!

So the technique is to give yourself a little buffer of time – go when you do have to go, but also when you can still wait for around 5 minutes. How to get this right? Practice my friend. And I have been going into the toilets at the clubs for a long time to know what I’m talking about. Wait that didn’t come out right …