I’ve come across shy and timid ppl at work and while out socialising. I don’t hate them, I just rather not deal with them if I can help it. Why? Because it drives me crazy with frustration. I was a shy boy growing up so I know how difficult and debilitating it is. It’s a personal trait that may take time to grow out of.
But I believe in an upper limit of 18 years or maybe 21 years. That is the age where most of us would have gone through school and university, met different ppl and had different experiences such that you should have climbed out of your shell. If you haven’t then you are going to have difficulty functioning in society with the other adults. Maybe that’s why a lot of the shy types do all their socialising online where they don’t have to deal with ppl face to face.
I got a question though: how then do timid ppl get past job interviews and against all expectations get jobs? The average person can become a nervous wreck when they have to go through an interview, so how do the timids survive it against all odds?
At least when out socialising, I can turn my attention to other ppl if the timid person won’t open up no matter how hard I tried. But there’s no avoiding them at work if you are unlucky enough to be saddled with one. Two of my biggest pet peeves regarding timid co-workers:
- If I ask you a question about something that you may or may not know, just answer me truthfully. I’m not gonna eat you up if you said “no”. Not all of us are geniuses – you may even know things that I don’t. Which brings me to …
- If you know a better way of doing something, speak up. Don’t let me go through the motions only to fail at the end and then say, “Actually, you could have done it this way … ” Then why didn’t you say so from the start!?
I try to lead by example, by being not afraid to show my weaknesses and by admiting my mistakes. I also compliment ppl when they give me a good idea. Truthfully I think that’s all I can and am willing to do. The rest is really up to you. Get out of that damn shell. Otherwise I might just pour some salt into it one day. Just saying.
19 Responses to “Timid people at work”
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beat them up la…
Is this an issue of self confidence? Everyone definitely has their confidence in something… Perhaps that’s why your “timid” people will still be able to get through job interviews. Dealing with people / strangers is different though. Every encounter is unique, not to mention the setting where the meeting takes place, the mood of the person etc.. I would suppose then it is really more of a case of “better to be quiet than to look stupid”
I think sometimes they just need to understand themself more … there are people that’s even unsure what’s they’re capable of … hence the pull back …
Have you heard ‘pai seh jia ka kee’ hokkien;english translation:shy, eat yourself).
this hokkien saying kinda sums everything up..ekekek
sourrain: err in the office leh. How!?
Yan: Even if a person is confident in his or her skills, the inability to deal with ppl would shine through in the interview process. Everyone is casual and relaxed in my office so no excuses there.
louyau: which is why I’m amazed that such ppl can even get past a job interview to land a job.
Cynthia: yeah lah. There are many situations where a little bit of “pai seh” is good but not in a work environment.
Yeah how about those who are too shy to speak up at meetings to the boss and express themselves, those who just sit there and pretend to be a loyal employee and love everything at work, and then complain non stop (and I mean non stop) all day everyday about everything and anything to do with work to everyone (except to the boss of coz)… Now I think that’s more annoying
JJJ: Wahahaha ok that was one more thing that pisses me off. That is GOOD. Not good good but bad good. Heh.
Thanks for reminding me!
speaking of shy people……how would you feel if you happen to be in a country where 95% of the populations are like that??
i can tell you how it feels…damn depressing.
ront: which country is this?
I won’t call it depressing, more frustration.
Another thing is that women in asian society are taught to be shy. It’s not good to be loud and opinionated; smile demurely and sit down twiddling your thumbs.
I have always been known in my family as the noisy and very unlady-like one..much of it due to my loud mouth and opinions.In a way,I’ve always been the black sheep of the family due to the fact that I am not shy and will beat people up if required(ask my husband
)
If the society conditions you to be shy…
most times shyness is due to a lack of confidence. which means that if you can find a way to coax them out of their shell you could find a rough diamond.
sometimes its cultural. its a lot more common to find a shy Chinese/Japanese/Asian (Filipinos excluded) than say a shy Irish guy. I think us chinese are taught to shut up as a sign of respect or fear of embarassing ourselves or others. Remember back to how many asian students were brave enough to put up our hands in class and ask the lecturer a stupid question that everyone else wanted to know too.
Heh, I was really shy in high school, slowly got it off by having super-outgoing friends in uni. And now, I can chat to just about anyone about anything, anywhere.
sourrain: Spank me!
Rob: yeah but that’s uni – once you’ve been in the workforce that excuse doesn’t hold anymore. Are you telling me that all across Asia there are meek little ppl not making any noise? How come there are so many world class Asian companies then?
Not all of it can be blamed on race or culture.
cupcakequeen: yeah lah, it’s ok to be born shy but all of us needs to grow out of it to function well in work and society.
spank u for what? u damn beh paiseh,spank already wait cannot stop!!
ahahhaa
sourrain: err….that’s the whole point! Woohoo!
fierce sia
The shy people which are as mentioned above, are probably good at interviews as the interviews are focussed on what they have done and what they have achieved, hence a CV (Resume) also backs up thier experience and maybe examples of thier work e.g”action speaks louder that word’s”. Which to to the surprise of the extrovert’s they get the job.
I think the extrovert has to understand and is also ignorant of the fact that they don’t or go out of thier way to find out what the shy persons capabilities are instead of wallowing in thier own self rightiousnes. Maybe the person as described in the extract has other abilities outside of work, which againt maybe a surprise of the more outgoing people. I think in the case as above, ignorance of the more outgoing people is a key issue in this scenario.
Heyy,
so i can be less timid 
i was just wondering if i could get some advice
i find that i’m more shy now than in high school, i don’t really get it, but it’s hard for me to make friends now, and i was just told today that i’m too timid to work in retail. But the thing is, if i did have a job i’d be able to go up to people and talk to them if needed (eg: in a clothing store, etc.)I’m just shy at interviews.
so i was just wondering if you had any advice for me
Hey Alli.
If you are ok normally with strangers, but only get nervous in interviews, then there should be some classes or workshop that can help you out with that.
At least you are not timid all the time. Best of luck!