I didn’t articulate my thoughts in my previous post, “Maybe I am fussy” very well at all. I think I gave the impression that I’m harbouring a secret crush for Wendy when I don’t.
The gist of that post was:
- How come I don’t feel anything for her when she seems to fit almost all of my arbitrary criterion? Discuss. (20 marks)
That’s it really. I probably confuse you all by adding that I wouldn’t mind some physical action if my brain didn’t get in the way so often. That is true but it has nothing to do with Wendy. So I apologise for the confusion. 
Only girlstar7 got what I was trying to get at:
although many people have a list of ‘criteria’ in their head you may meet someone that fills all those criteria, but you just don’t feel that spark. you can choose someone due to logical things such as decent job, likes dogs etc. but in the end love/lust is not logical.
These facts remain:
- I’m happily single although I wouldn’t mind companionship.
- I still don’t know what I really want. Even when I do, I change my mind often.
- I haven’t met anyone in recent years who made my heart beat faster, except for that blonde nurse whom I promptly lost interest in.
- My mind may not know what it wants and has a propensity to over-analyse but my body doesn’t. It knows what it wants. Hence my frustrations.
- And I do get frustrated. The only good thing is that it gives me ample material to blog about.
Concerned friends and family wonder why I’m “fussy” but the truth is that I haven’t felt a spark for anyone in ages. And I can see why ppl chastise me for “having high standards” when they see a perfectly nice girl like Wendy who fits *my* criterion for now and yet I feel nothing. Nada. You don’t think I wonder why that is so? Believe me, I argue with myself about that a lot.
I know everyone means well but in the end it’s just something that I have to overcome alone. Everyone is different and to those who have found your other half, I’m happy for you but your advice is probably only applicable to yourselves.
I’m a special kind of nutcase who requires a different approach. Woohoo!
p.s. Wendy already knows about all that I have written here, which is why I never hesitated in writing about it. I’m not some emotionally stunted person who can only show his true feelings on a blog ok!
Technorati Tags: single life
Trackbacks/Pings
18 Responses to “Ok I am fussy”
-
May 24 2006 / 12:55 am
well, next move is go and talk to her about it.
-
May 24 2006 / 8:12 am
-
May 24 2006 / 8:21 am
Oh i see…
Can get your point liao.Oops, must be generation gap.
-
May 24 2006 / 9:41 am
sometimes you get the spark for things,
and when things start to heat up, either the spark dies down or your engine is revving out of control…
for no obvious reason… -
May 24 2006 / 11:49 am
I can understand that feeling… sometimes, u are so comfortable in your own sphere of being alone.. that it is hard to make the first move.
If she is worth it, make that move and the rest will be history.
-
May 24 2006 / 11:52 am
damion: kindred spirit! I hear ya man.
robin: erm as I have mentioned repeatedly, this is not about me feeling lonely and desperate, and wanting to make a move on anyone. Focus on the second paragraph above.
-
May 24 2006 / 12:18 pm
But you know, if you get to know her better, who knows rite.
-
May 24 2006 / 1:56 pm
hehe sorry for jumping to conclusions in the other post. I understand now.
yeah you can have all the criteria ticked and yet no chemistry. then can meet a “none of the above” girl and wow fireworks.
If the little head hasn’t staged a full scale coup de tat by now, it’ll probably never happen. -
May 24 2006 / 1:57 pm
LOL huahuahha Herman can’t ya see Marcus doesn’t feel anything
Nobody gets you Mooi =p
Are you so stone cold hearted Marcus? You are an Ice King! =p Actually doesn’t matter, I used to have a bf like you, I broke up with him because it took him so long (too late) to realise that he did have feelings for me, but by the time he realised he had feelings for me, I had been so starved of affection and love, the relationship was too hard to pick up. I know he’s still single today and he admits that he’s the type that needs time to really feel anything for a girl.
But ya know what. I reckon when it is really the right time, you will find the one that’ll capture your fancy. Afterall you are looking for wife material now, so it’s okay to be fussy. I can just picture you when you’re 45 and still single. You’re an extraordinary species =)
-
May 24 2006 / 4:38 pm
I know what you mean… personally I actually hope to fall in love, but there is no one “there” to fall in love with. When there is no one to fall in love with, one doesn’t ponder about relationships. Even if there are “perfect” people involved. Thinking about it, heck care la (speaking to myself). ;p
But I think, one cannot “logicise” love. So what if “perfect”… if sparks are there, they will be there no matter what. =)) I think if one tries to look for people that are “perfect”, they will “fall in love” when actually, they are only in love with the facade of it… (borrowed from tanya’s song) heh.
-
May 24 2006 / 4:42 pm
it seems a lot of these people don’t understand you, but I do!! well, I think. I reckon why settle for less? why go out with someone you’re not that into, or just anyone, just because people think you should be coupled up. I think you just haven’t met the right person yet. it’s good that you won’t go out with just anyone cause if you go out with someone you don’t feel a spark for, you’ll only end up hurting them in the end anyway. like I said, love/lust isn’t logical. when you meet someone who’s right suddenly you’ll just KNOW and all logic will go out the window. when you DO meet that special person, it will be worth the wait. and it sounds like you are enjoying being single in the mean time anyway. if I ever come to Perth, I will have to hit the clubs with you!!
-
May 24 2006 / 5:00 pm
waaahh!!! Wish you’ll meet someone who makes butterflies in your stomach and fulfil all the criterias soon!
-
May 24 2006 / 5:09 pm
oh moo…
Think about it this way…Bacon did not fit into any of my criteria of:
hot
rich
likes dance music
likes dogsInstead, he is
chubbily fat
piss poor
likes cheesy pop
likes catsSometimes its still quite embarrasing, especially the cheesy pop bit. But he fits into different criterias that I’ve not even thought about it…like making me laugh, cooking me breakfasts in bed and carrying my shopping bags , sometimes even me when my feet is too tired.
The point of this is, have a guideline of what sort of person you want to be with, but do not treat it like god’s gospel.Things change, and if you close your mind to the obvious stereotypes, you might miss out. Who knows, your mommy might still have her wish of a holy/religious daughter in law:)).
And yes,I know you very happy single..dont rub it in can ornot?So acksyen..:)
-
May 24 2006 / 6:51 pm
Rob: little head throwing a coup-de-tat. That’s an awesome analogy. Hahahah.
ricka: thanks for sharing your story.
45 and still single … I won’t mind it if my life was like Hugh Hefner’s. Yeah right time, right place and all that jazz.raitonalneurotic: yeah in love with the thought of being in love, and not the person who you are with. Very true and I’ve seen it.
girlstar7: about taking you clubbing in Perth, that’s a deal!
snowflake: thanks! *sob*
sourrain: the little things that counts innit? V. happy for you and Bacon after a somewhat tumultous lead up to the big day.
holy smokes. kwai, and religious daughter in law for my mom…hahahah. Why you so evil, why you gonna wish that on me?!
-
May 24 2006 / 11:26 pm
ah… i get it. you are not a ’special nutcase that requires a different approach’, you are a QUIRKYALONE [link: http://www.quirkyalone.net
tell ur well-meaning parents/relatives/friends to cut u some slack on ur ‘fussiness’ cos’ you can probably be described as a member of the growing ‘quirkyalone’ movement.
-
May 24 2006 / 11:45 pm
v.u.: ah very very good find. Thanks man! And yes I’m most definitely one.
[...] I wrote about how dating is character building and I wondered why I’m fussy. [...]
[...] find it hard to nail down exactly what I want in a woman. However, I do know what I don’t want in a woman. I don’t [...]