True stories these …

  • Whilst making out with a girlfriend, I reached for my glasses. She asked me why. I said, “I can’t see you naked without them.” She didn’t let me and I was forced to use my imagination.

  • I once had two girls stayed over in my room once. They slept on my bed and I slept on the floor. Housemates gave me dirty looks after I told them nothing happened. Story of my life.

  • Still about the same two girls … one was drunkenly mad at me and got into a taxi with a stranger. I chased after her in my car while the other girl puked in the backseat. I caught up with the taxi and I got them both home safely. No, I didn’t get “rewarded”. Chivalry is overrated.

  • A girl I secretly had a crush on described to me in vivid detail and super technicolor her “first time” which she had just had with another guy. I understood what crimson tide really meant that day. I also wanted to hurt that guy badly but I ended up getting drunk by the river instead.

  • I once declared that I wanted to go out with a girl by yelling at her.

  • Before I knew how to take a hint, I couldn’t take a hint. It took me a year to realise that maybe the girl that I had been asking out, really *really* did not want to go out with me. I actually had to say, “You don’t want to go out with me, do you?” *ouch*

  • I so identified with Duckie in Pretty in Pink. I thought Molly Ringwald’s character was a stupid bitch.

  • You know how ppl have make-up sex? I once refused “break-up sex”. What an idiot. Do you see a pattern here???

  • I’ve broken up with girls using the lines “it’s not you, it’s me” and “I like you too much”. Maybe I do deserve my dry patch now. Karma is a biatch.

Do you have any to share? ;)

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