Mooiness! » Suicide/Love

(blueskygirl @ Flickr, via everystockphoto.com)

What follows stem from a conversation with Blinkymummy.

I’ve never loved anyone deeply. So I can’t really understand why ppl would kill themselves over love, even allowing for the fact that it is illogical - you cannot control your emotions. They just happen.

There are two views about suicide:

That it is the most selfish and cowardly thing to do; instead of facing the problems one chooses to end it all, leaving loved ones grieving and trying to understand it all. For unless you are a hermit, your life would inevitably touch more ppl than you’d ever thought so.

Or, that it is the bravest thing to do; that it actually takes courage to end one’s life. To cross the point of no return is scary, even when you are severely depressed.

Either way, death is never a happy ending.

Those who would kill themselves over love must have LOVE at the core of their lives, and most likely at the exclusion of other things. Whilst it seems magical and romantic that one would pour their entire being into loving someone, it feels to me a misplaced direction in life. To me, life is more than just about love. Your life should not be defined by love; love is only a subset of life, and not the other way around.

“Romeo and Juliet” is a great story but a guide to living it ain’t. There’s nothing noble about ending one’s life over love. By killing yourself, you are only robbing yourself of the chance to find that one true love that you so covet when you were alive.

What you may call and feel is love is transient and many, but you only have the one life. Cherish it.

Technorati Tags: suicide, love, relationships

Kitty’s World | Jun 13 2006 / 4:39 am

[...] taken from mooiness “There are two views about suicide: [...]

Mooiness! » Follow up on “Suicide/Love” Feb 10 2007 / 6:04 pm

[...] comments on the “Suicide/Love” post deserved to be mentioned - one is great and supremely profound, and another is [...]

marina Jun 12 2006 / 2:20 pm

I think people commit suicide because life has no meaning for them, they cannot see how they can continue living without the sense of familiarity.

People close to them are the ones who should be the crutch and support in their darkest hour.

Suicide is such a depressing topic.

girlstar7 Jun 12 2006 / 4:36 pm

You hear a lot of stories about people who threaten suicide because someone has broken up with them. often these people are just crying out for attention, and although they are very miserable abotu the break-up for a while, they move on and then they are fine.
but sadly, some people do feel that suicide is the only escape. generally, i think, these people are clinically depressed. you hear stories about people who supposedly ‘have it all’. great job, great partner, great apartment or whatever it may be and they kill themselves. it is very sad.
an interesting statistic: more women attempt suicide than men, however more men actually succeed in committing suicide.

mooiness Jun 12 2006 / 6:48 pm

marina: sometimes though they don’t feel that they can reach out to those who are closest to them and I think that’s the saddest thing.

girlstar7: drama queens yeah. Then there are those who are clinically depressed and you add a big downer like a break up to it and that can push them off the edge. Sometimes it also take strength to recognise the depression and seek help.

And I’ve read that statistic. Interesting indeed.

reign Jun 12 2006 / 10:49 pm

i guess one have to learn to love yourself first before you can love another..it takes more courage to live & love than to die!

mooiness Jun 12 2006 / 11:21 pm

reign: definitely have to love yourself first - having your entire happiness being dependent on one person is just baaaad.

Ronnie Jun 13 2006 / 12:00 pm

Suicide is not choice; it happens
when pain exceeds resources for coping with pain.

Suicide is neither wrong nor right; it is not a defect of character; it is morally neutral. It is simply an imbalance of pain versus coping your ability to cope.

What might be bearable to someone else, may not be bearable to you.

Suicide IS NOT A CHOICE.

similar to BEING ATTRACTED to someone IS NOT A CHOICE, except suicide is in the context of one’s life & death.

anonymous Jun 13 2006 / 6:22 pm

i’ve known 2 persons who’d attempted suicide, one succeeded, one didn’t. they did it cos they felt there was nothing worth living anymore. i suppose if u look at what’s in one’s life as a pie chart, a person who places say 90% of it in LOVE, then when he loses it, he has nothing much worth living for. from these 2 persons, i learnt to distribute my pie chart more or less evenly, with different things/people, so that if i lose one, i have others to live for. perhaps even in life itself, it’s not worth putting all the eggs in one basket, so to speak.

mooiness Jun 13 2006 / 6:54 pm

ronnie: I beg to differ - suicide is a choice. You mentioned coping mechanisms, and they come in many forms. If not close friends or family, then therapists and drugs.

You don’t have a choice who you fall in love with, but you definitely have a choice in how you deal with it.

anon: exactly, it’s all about balance. Love is *one* part of life, not all of it.

DarkHarf Jun 14 2006 / 4:22 pm

Standing on the parapet wall is really very scary. You have to be conscious enough to leap the correct direction (outward, not backward, otherwise you’ll bang wall or roll down staircase instead and ended up with broken limbs or bahlukku). And because you have to be conscious to jump, that’s why it’s scary…