I finally succumbed to my urges on the weekend and had a meaningless fling. Meaningless because there wasn’t any emotional connection. She was there and available. I wasn’t physically attracted to her either, not that it would matter much anyway when there’s a lack of emotional intimacy.
It was mechanical and I was just going through the motions. It felt surreal like I was watching myself in third person. My senses were numb too, as if I was feeling by proxy. It felt ridiculous. I even had an internal monologue happening for a while when I caught my reflection in a mirror:
What are you doing here? Do you know how ridiculous you look?
I went into the situation with no expectations and I left it without a sense of satisfaction. It felt only marginally better than if I had done it alone. I would like to think that I’ve ended my drought but in a way I don’t think I have – I still feel the same-old.
I’ve always felt that sex is only good when there’s an emotional connection. This experience has only served to confirm my thoughts once more.
“Sex without love is merely healthy exercise.”
In that sense, at least I had a good workout. 
Technorati Tags: single life
OMG OMG OMG
*heart attacks and dies..
Well, at least you’ve tried it out – and realises that you are looking for an emotional connection and not just a meaningless fling.
We always think that the easiest way to end a drought is to just go out there to get some – there is never a shortage of playmates.Trust me, you are not the only one. At least now you’ve been there and done that, and it’s time to move on to more ‘meaningful’ things, n’est pas?
“Sex without love is merely healthy exercise.”
Robert A. Heinlein
I beg to differ.
SAFE sex without love is merely healthy exercise. Sex without condoms and love is an easy route to self-destruction.
But really, no sex is better than bad sex. As fun as flings may be, the reality is, gradually they gnaw at one’s sense of self-respect and respect for others.
Sucks right… No sex = sexual frustration. Have sex (with no emotional connection) = also frustrated.
Tsk. Such is life.
Well, you’ve gotten what you’ve been craving for (if I may say that) and realised that it’s not what you are really after…
Are you still craving for more?
speechless …
Well, tell me abt it, i just had sex this week without love (paid escort), but at least there’s frenching involved. So its still very lustful. She spend time chatting wif me.
To think of what i did 2 mths ago was worst. A gal (friend) i was close to, well she dun believe in luv. She wanted me to be a F buddy (coz she’s real practical) So we had it, but no kissing involved, gosh it felt worst than paying a hooker for sex. Really…. I felt so USED.
We, men do seek love .. not just meaningless sometimes. But u know wat, love sucks sometimes. So.. hell just go out and get some paid sex. At least, the working lady make u feel loved. (yeah i may be cheap going for a hooker, at least u know its all just lust, but at least it beats having a emotionaless/meaningfuless sex wif a gal you really like). So yeah.. Mooi says it best –loving someone who cant love you back, is more lonely than being alone
sourrain: yes I’ve always searched for more meaningful excursions than this one. This was but a momentary diversion.
simplysiti: with a condom of course. Goes without saying in this day and age. Bad sex or not, at least I now got a better idea about what I want, or rather *what I don’t want*.
ian: I do crave it, with the right person that is. Alas, the right person hasn’t showed up yet.
snowflake: was it that astounding? Heh.
dsnake: I know what you are talking about the F-buddy. And to do it with a girl that you may genuinely like is even worse. Unrequited love is indeed a bitch.
kimberly: heheh. I liked that Woody Allen quote but I thought it’d ruin the point of my post. Hahahah. Anyways, yes the journey in search for “the one” continues.
“Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go it’s one of the best”.- Woody Allen
but hey, to each his own aye. btw, that’s awful load of things going through your mind during the motion….so yeah, maybe you’re really not made for it
hope u’ll find what you’re looking for!
sexxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
smashp0p: you got it wrong, it’s SEXXXXXXXXXXX. Heheh.
wah liew …. ! and women thinks men only want sex !
Herman: we are not animals!
well, i can considered this as a confession!!??
maybe you were thinking too much while doing it thus unable to “enjoy it”.
paid sex was never 100% enjoyable or whatsoever, it do depends.
maybe i could enlighten you if you do meet me when you dropped by here.
Leonard: this time it wasn’t “overthinking” because I’ve already willed myself into the physical act – it’s more about the emotional connection as mentioned.
And I didn’t pay for it.
[...] I can’t be manipulated by sex because I’m not into loveless sex. I may partake in it but it will not change how I feel for you, or what I would or wouldn’t do for you. [...]
Wow, so you finally ended your drought!! I’m guessing it was a random girl you picked up at a club?
I agree, that sex is so much better when it’s with someone you love or really care about and there is that emotional connection. otherwise it’s just sex. really, that’s what seperates us from the animals. while we do have the same sexual urges, humans crave love and physical affection whilst animals don’t.
btw, the worst is not just random anonymous sex but DRUNKEN random anonymous sex. when you are pretty much too pissed to feel anything at all and can hardly remember it the next day! fun stuff!
girlstar7: heheh well as I’ve said, it doesn’t feel like I’ve ended it but for all intent and purposes, I have.
Wasn’t a random girl, more a very distant acquiantance.
Hahah I like what you wrote about the drunken sex, fun stuff indeed! Woohoo!
::empathise::
[...] After nearly four years of being single and virtually sexless, you’d be forgiven to think that I’d be close to insane now. But it is friends like Swee that stop me from feeling lonely. And perhaps that is also the reason that I haven’t placed too much effort in hooking up or felt the need to. My body is urging me as always, but the mind isn’t. [...]
[...] I broke my sexual drought, only to find it dissapointing. [...]
[...] I don’t put up with bad behaviour whatsoever. I know that no matter how much I may want it, meaningless sex is just dull. And in the end, the bad behaviour is still [...]
[...] I not feel deprived anymore, I can live without it. Nor would I have it just for the sake of it – bad sex is not better than no sex. In fact, it’s not better than [...]
[...] said previously that meaningless sex is just dull. That sex without the emotional connection is like a fast food meal – it will satisfy you then and [...]
[...] was it that I said about bad sex, that it is not better than no sex? I think the similar is even more true about marriages. So [...]
[...] it is important for me. Long time readers would know that although I may crave sex, I still would prefer to have an emotional connection to go along with it. And kissing is a essential part of that [...]
[...] As funny as that is, and as much I want to follow that principle, I just can’t. [...]
[...] When I was young, all I wanted to do was to kiss a girl. Any girl. Now I know. There’s a big difference between kissing a girl that I cared about, and kissing one that I don’t. Same goes for sex. [...]
[...] But if they were fuck buddies, that would mean that they weren’t girlfriends. I may not care about the emotional maintenance but it doesn’t mean that I don’t like having an emotional connection with someone. I still think that sex is better when you have an emotional connection. [...]