After my weekend’s adventure, I feel even more grounded and secure about myself than before. I know that:

1. I can’t be manipulated by sex because I’m not into loveless sex. I may partake in it but it will not change how I feel for you, or what I would or wouldn’t do for you.
2. I’m not swayed by beauty. I may find you physically attractive but it won’t change a thing if you are a bitch to the people around you. Don’t pretend to be nice just because you want something done for you either.

So, don’t mind-f*ck me because I can see it coming a mile away.

I finally succumbed to my urges on the weekend and had a meaningless fling. Meaningless because there wasn’t any emotional connection. She was there and available. I wasn’t physically attracted to her either, not that it would matter much anyway when there’s a lack of emotional intimacy.

It was mechanical and I was just going through the motions. It felt surreal like I was watching myself in third person. My senses were numb too, as if I was feeling by proxy. It felt ridiculous. I even had an internal monologue happening for a while when I caught my reflection in a mirror:

What are you doing here? Do you know how ridiculous you look?

I went into the situation with no expectations and I left it without a sense of satisfaction. It felt only marginally better than if I had done it alone. I would like to think that I’ve ended my drought but in a way I don’t think I have - I still feel the same-old.

I’ve always felt that sex is only good when there’s an emotional connection. This experience has only served to confirm my thoughts once more.

“Sex without love is merely healthy exercise.”

Robert A. Heinlein

In that sense, at least I had a good workout.

Technorati Tags: single life

The next time you notice a pretty face, note the symmetry of it. Almost always, a pretty face is symmetrical. Also, a pretty face would have the following features:

• Clear skin,
• Large, widely spaced eyes,
• Deeper, sunken eye area,
• High nose,
• High cheekbones, and
• Full lips.

And if you know a little bit about cosmetics, you’d realise that there are products to address or enhance those aspects above if you are not born with those features:

• Foundation for an even appearance of the skin,
• Eye shadow and mascara for the appearance of larger and deeper set eyes,
• Blush around the nose and under the cheekbones to emphasise them, and
• Lipstick and lip liner to give the appearance of full and bigger lips.

And if you got the money and are so inclined, there’s also cosmetic surgery. But then hang on a minute, aren’t those the ideals of a pretty Caucasian face? What about non-Caucasians? As you’d notice from the following pictures, what constitutes a pretty face is almost universal across races.

Some of the photos have been airbrushed, and some of the faces may have undergone surgery but the principle still holds.

And this is why I appreciate beautiful women of all colours. Why limit yourself when the whole world is your smorgasboard?

For more about the science of a pretty face, read Wikipedia’s entry on Physical Attractiveness.

Top row: Scarlett Johanson (American), Zhang ZhiYi (Chinese), Aishwarya Rai (Indian)
Middle row: Rihanna (Jamaican), Shakira (Colombian), Monica Belucci (Italian)
Bottom row: Anggun (Indonesian), Kathaleeya McIntosh (Thai), Penelope Cruz (Spanish)

Beers, shooters and mixers. I wonder what is it about alcohol that would make us hug a toilet bowl and swear that we would not drink again, and then do the same thing again the following week. Hangovers, vomitting and cleaning up cars and bedrooms, saying and doing things you don’t really mean, awkward morning-afters with a stranger lying next to you - are all these really fun?

One of my better alcohol related stories occured on NYE 1998-1999. I was in Sydney hanging out at my cousin’s friend’s mansion (it was really huge though I don’t remember much of it, heh). Alcohol was free flowing and before I know it … I was queing up for the toilet close to the countdown. A girl sidled up to me. I smiled or at least I think I did and asked her for a cigarette. She reached down her cleavage and pulled one out. Wow.

Then the countdown came and she gave me a really big hug. After the hug I was still holding on to her, very inappropriately. My arm was hanging down her shoulder and my hand was conveniently somewhere soft and warm. And instinctively my hand moved on its own. I guess someone saw us because the girl was suddenly pulled away from me. I never got her name, not that I would have remembered it.

In hindsight, I was very lucky that the someone who saw us wasn’t the girl’s boyfriend. I would have been roughed up good. Instead I got messed up another way - hanging out in the toilet of a hotel room at the after-party (yeah great idea!), throwing up some more into a plastic bag on the ride home, and more during the night at my uncle’s house and then being nauseous the rest of the next day.

Ah fun times. And I still love to drink. Could this have something to do with the fact that my grandfather started giving me brandy at the age of 5 to help me sleep when I was sick? Ooh yeah.

A 4-yr old girl was mauled to death in Dubbo, NSW by three hunting dogs that were trained to hunt and kill wild pigs. The girl had made her way into her neighbour’s compound and approached the dogs. Two of the dogs were chained up, while one was roaming free. In the frenzied attack that followed, the two dogs that were chained up broke free.

The dog’s owner is a neighbour and family friend. The owner’s dad said that the dogs, any dogs should not be trusted. The dogs would most likely be put down. How did the girl end up wandering by herself? The mother had lost track of her for at least 4 hours during the day.

With the facts out of the way, here’s my thoughts:

• Small children should never be left alone with dogs, big or small. Especially not with dogs that are trained and rewarded for being violent. They may behave themselves with a few adults around but a small child will be treated as inferior or a prey by dominant and powerful dogs.
• Ever seen two dogs play and how they would snap at each other? Dogs have powerful jaws and on a small child, one snap in the wrong place is all that’d take to kill the child.
• Ban aggressive breeds? Even friendly breeds like the Dalmation and Golden Retriever can kill. What about cross-breeds? Where do you draw the line?
• Why was a 4 year old child left to wander on her own, outside of the house in the late evening? What the hell are the parents doing?

Trust turns to tragedy: a little angel lost in backyard attack - National - Sydney Morning Herald

At last count, the story at News.com.au has attracted close to 400 comments. Most of them lay the blame squarely on the parents. I’m glad to see that there are more people with common sense than not.

A remarkable man, he:

• Placed an importance on education for every one of his children, including his daughters of which he had seven.
• Sent 5 of his 10 children to study in Australia in the 60s.
• Allowed one daughter to study fashion design in Sydney.
• Allowed another to marry a Caucasian.
• Once said this, “Love a man or love a woman, I just want you to be happy.”

Quite progressive for a man born in 1916. Who was he? He was my grandfather. And the daughter who studied fashion design? She is my mother.

Grandma and grandpa with first aunty Jennifer, circa 1941.

A couple of disjointed thoughts about pain and pain management.

• You know how much it hurts when you hit your shins on something? And then when the pain starts to subside, it’s almost pleasurable? I think that’s how masochists derive their pleasures.
• You know how the Terminators in the movies can’t feel pain? And therefore can keep on functioning despite the damage to their systems? Pain is necessary in the sense that it warns us about danger to our bodies but is the unpleasantness, and sometimes debilitating paralysis necessary as well?

  Why can’t we have what machines have and that is, a sensory system monitoring our bodies and warning of damage which does not impede our movements and lucidity? Think of how much more we can achieve if we can overcome the pain barrier or do without it even.

• The above suggestion is even more powerful when you think about how the treatment of most injuries and illnesses is to incorporate pain relief while assisting rest and recuperation. In this sense, after the initial shock of the injury, pain itself is no longer necessary now is it? Because we are now treating the wound or injury, why the need to keep us miserable?

  I mean keep a low level of pain to remind us not to use or move a particular area of our bodies but junk the remainder because it is such a pain, right?

The above is brought to you by me feeling a dull pain running through my right upper-thigh. It just came in the night and it’s been with me since yesterday morning. I’m gonna give it till Monday.

If it still hurts then, I’m seeing a doctor. And what’s the bet that I’ll be prescribed some painkillers and told to take it easy?

For an interesting read about pain and its causes: physiological, psychological, and even genetics, check out “Pain - It’s not all in your head” published by Endeavours, a magazine of the University of North Carolina.