How do you wear this?

Or this?

And how do they stay up?

Anyway, that’s not the point of this post. ShanDong Er Ge (“Shandong Second Brother”) is. The above photos were from a post of his outlining what he likes in a woman. Presumably he digs women who expose their cracks. Though I can read Mandarin I didn’t read through it all because he comes across as a real asshat.

This is him by the way. AWESOME innit?

And who is he and what’s his blog about? He’s a 29 year old gym teacher from Shandong. Gawker has called him the “Yao Ming of Douches“. Gridskipper says,

Shandong calls himself “China’s Sexiest Man” and demonstrates a knack for self delusion, for if he is so sexy, why is he posing with a high-waisted paper skirt?

Shandong Er Ge created his blog in a bid to find a wife. But his methods leave a lot to be desired. The Shanghaiist says,

Erge treats his readers to pictures of Japanese girls in ultra-low cut jeans, attempts to teach women how to make love to their husbands after proclaiming he is a virgin in his matrimonial bid, posts videos of himself lifting heavy weights on TV …

And there’s more. However did people entertain themselves before the Internet came along?

(via Back in Skinny Jeans)

* more about the real Bonfire of the Vanities

Technorati Tags: Shandong Erge

I’m #1 for “Marcus Ooi” on Google. Even a n00b can find me on the net. What does this mean? It means that I shouldn’t blog about work, not even discreetly like I have in the past. The people whom I deal with at work and through work know me as “Marcus Ooi”. If I speak about a certain event in the day, a client or a supplier could easily stumble upon my post and put two and two together.

Speak ill of them? Make fun of them? I’d be asking for it. But hey difficult customers are a norm, no matter what industry we work in, commercial or government. We all come across them one way or the other. People who can’t make up their minds, and people who don’t hear what you tell them. It’s so common that no specific customer can really think it’s them that I’m talking about right?

Ah who cares?! See if you recognise this scenario, metaphorically speaking.

Passenger: Go there.
Driver (a.k.a. me): Ok.
Passenger: Go faster.
Driver: Cannot, got speed cameras. But I will go as fast as I can, ok?
Passenger: *grumble* I want to pick up a few of my friends.
Driver: This wasn’t in the plans but since we have room, ok.

* picks up additional people *

Passenger: Aiyer, why so slow? Faster!
Driver: We are fully loaded. We can’t go as fast as planned due to the additional passengers.
Passenger: Oklah oklah. This is not satisfactory. *grumble*

* comes to a road block *

Driver: Ok looks like we can’t go there. Road’s blocked. We have to take another way.
Passenger: Cannot! I want to go through here.
Driver: But we can’t … road’s blocked.
Passenger: I don’t care, my other driver always take this route.
Driver: But I’m not your other driver, and erm … the road’s blocked. We will still get to where we want to go by going this other way.
Passenger: Ok lah! Go go go, we are wasting time arguing!
Driver: *thinking* What the fuck, you started the arguing loh. *takes deep breath*

* detours and arrives at destination *

Passenger: What’s this?!
Driver: The destination that you said so in the beginning?
Passenger: No I didn’t. This is not where I wanted to go!
Driver: Yes you did. I have it here in writing.
Passenger: Well, I erm … I’ve changed my mind ok!?
Driver: … *sigh* Ok. So where do you want to go?
Passenger: I don’t know. You come up with a suggestion. That’s what I’m paying you for.
Driver: Ok, how about there?
Passenger: Why would I want to go there?
Driver: Because it’s an alternative place to get what you want from here.
Passenger: But there costs more.
Driver: Yes I know but since you have urgent needs, we have no choice.
Passenger: This is ridiculous. This is not what I’ve signed up for. Get me your manager, I want to speak to him. This is not satisfactory.
Driver: *mumbles* Motherf ….

/vent Pssssshhh!

Technorati Tags: customer service, working life

Just started going to The Cott on Sundays again. The warmer weather is here and the girls are all out wearing less. Being amongst beautiful, preppy girls is strangely therapeutic for me. To me as an Asian male, the stereotypical OC-esque white upper-class girls are exotic. And luckily for me, I don’t have to travel far to indulge in my exotic fetishes. Woohoo!

Some people must own art, while most people can appreciate the beauty without needing to own it. I’m of the latter group. So even though it’s a long shot for a short Asian man to date an Aussie chick, I still like to plonk myself in a situation where virtually all the girls present are white except for two (I kid you not), and look till my heart’s content. Appreciating without needing to own it, you know?

It gives me a rush. Because it’s so packed, and with people sitting close by especially out in the beer garden, you can smell the shampoos and the perfumes. It’s all very intoxicating, almost as good as the alcohol. And what makes it even better are the Aussie blokes next to you sharing their thoughts with you on breasts of all shapes and sizes, and in various stages of undress.

Appreciating beauty is healthy, and the Aussie summer? Priceless. And I love it. Well, except for the flies and the stifling heat wave but I think us males are well compensated for that.

Technorati Tags: Australia, Australian, summer

Gary Jule’s “Mad World” from the “Donnie Darko” soundtrack, his version of the Tears for Fear’s song of the same name, has been used in countless emo scenes in countless US drama serials and movies. Now it has shown up in an ad for XBox 360′s “Gears of War” – a first-person shooter game.

And it works. Brian Crecente who wrote the article at Kotaku where I saw this has said that he “can’t wait for this game”. I’m inclined to agree. I hadn’t thought about buying any of the next gen consoles: Wii, Playstation 3 and the XBox 360. But after seeing this ad, and watching the gameplay trailer for “Gears of War”, I’m really jonesing for the XBox.

And I just got my tax return. Coincidence? I think not.

(via Kotaku)

“Gears of War” gameplay trailer (disregard the cheesy dialogue at the front):

(via Kotaku)

Technorati Tags: Xbox 360, Gears of War

There’s a new blog on my blogroll – “Much Ado About Sumthin“, which is written by a 25 year-old female Sydney-sider. I think hers would be Australia’s most visited blog outside of those hosted by the Sydney Morning Herald, judging by the number of comments that she gets. And what does she write about? General stuff that happens to her, and male-female relationships and dynamics mostly.

Basically a personal blog but she writes honestly and she writes it well – she doesn’t just rely on being a hot chick to get her high readership. But of course that doesn’t hurt, even though we can’t really see all of her face on her profile picture.

A good one of her recent posts is the one about how she wishes women can be more honest with each other, instead of hiding their true feelings and then bitch about the other after the fact. From her post:

My friend, K, is a notorious ditch bitch. She always says she will go and do whatever, but never fails to cancel at the last minute with some lame excuse. She called me at 9pm, everyone was supposed to meet at my place at 8.30pm. She said she had a sore throat and didn’t want to go. Now, I don’t understand how her throat suddenly started to hurt at 8.30. She should have called me earlier and I was pissed.

But what did I say? “Oh, ok, get better” and hung up. Then I started to whinge to everyone ELSE about her ditching us again.

According to Ben, if this were a situation with two guys, it would have gone like this.
Guy 1- I have a sore throat, I’m not coming.
Guy 2- Fuck you, pussy, you should have called me earlier.
Guy 1- Sorry mate.
Guy 2- I’m not calling you again, bitch!
Guy 1- Fuck off.
Guy 2- YOU fuck off. I’ll see you at the game tomorrow.
Sorted.

Definitely go read the rest of it. Also be sure to check out her series of two posts where at first she thought she had turned her ex-boyfriend gay, and then had the wonderful luck of the guy’s current girlfriend read that post. He had given his current girlfriend the link to the blog, natch. Another case of death by blogging, except she was way funny about it.

Technorati Tags: Australian

I’ve just caught up with Swee over some Japanese food at Ohnamiya in Applecross. It was fantastic – both the authentic food and the catch up. The bottle of 2-year old shiraz didn’t hurt either. The last time I saw Swee was a month ago. She’s constantly busy with work and with her love life, so catching up with her always feel like an exclusive treat.

And whenever we catch up it’s like we just saw each other the night before. Conversation continued as if it never stopped, and the bond felt as strong as ever. It’s great to have low-maintenance friends like these, with whom time spent in a small 2-hour window can feel so satisfying.

Even when people dissapoint me from time and time again, it’s the close friends that I have that reaffirms my faith in my fellow human beings. Unwavering, steady and consistent. I’m blessed as I’ve said many times before, and it is a reason that I’m never feeling down.

After nearly four years of being single and virtually sexless, you’d be forgiven to think that I’d be close to insane now. But it is friends like Swee that stop me from feeling lonely. And perhaps that is also the reason that I haven’t placed too much effort in hooking up or felt the need to. My body is urging me as always, but the mind isn’t.

Treasure your friends, do not abuse or take their friendship for granted. For the old saying is true:

Lovers come and go, but true friends are forever.

And thanks to this past year of blogging, I’ve met more people that adds to my general feeling of wellness. You know who you are.

Much link love to you all and to my readers!

Technorati Tags: single life

My parents are away in Malaysia currently so I don’t go over for dinner. So far this week, my schedule has been like this:

1. I wake up and I have breakfast.
2. I drive to work.
3. Work, work, work.
4. Lunch time – I’d go out to the shops where students from nearby Curtin University like to hang out. Eye candy and food. And groceries.
5. Work somemore.
6. I drive home.
7. I play with Snoop.
8. Catch up with my cousins Reucas and Reugan.
9. I make dinner.
10. I work out.
11. I blog.
12. I shower.
13. I eat in front of the TV.
14. After TV, I’d stick myself in front of the computer with a little drink.
15. I go to bed.

And it dawns on me that I find this completely comfortable and relaxing. Then I got scared. What if I get so comfortable that I never see the need for a change? Not only that, technology is only going to improve more and more to address the issue of loneliness.

Plugged-in playmate? I’m down with that. Communicating with friends and family via IM, voice and text messages, and blogging. Maybe soon, we can do holographic communications too. Cool. Human contact would be kept to a minimum. Jacked into “The Matrix” at all times. A touch of “Ghost in the Shell” even.

Though I know I won’t be completely satisfied with that. I need real live human contact. Nothing can replace the feel, the touch and the smell of a fellow person even if communication technologies can conquer the tyranny of distance.

But now? I can make do with my simple life and what current technology is capable of. I’m content. And it scares me. For if I’m so content now, why would I even want to change? But do I need to change? Ah, that is the question for the week.

Technorati Tags: single life