Why don’t Aussie girls date Asian men?
because he snagged a white woman
Got your attention? The title is taken from Sam de Brito’s post on his SMH blog “All Men Are Liars“.
With such a provocative title, his post was bound to get a load of comments. At last count, there were 425, mostly from Asian males and Anglo females as expected. It took me an hour to wade through the first 300 or so. If you want to go and read the post and the comments first, go ahead. We’ll wait for you.
The rest of you, follow me …
Let’s get a few facts out of the way to set the mood right for this post:
- Yes, I know Asian-Australians are “Aussies” too but in this context, it will mean its traditional connotation of white Anglo-Saxons. And Asian will mean “East Asian” or yellow-skinned Asians, and yes I know Asia is a big place with many different-coloured people.
- I’ve never dated an Aussie girl but I would like to. Having said that, I don’t resent the fact that it’s harder for me as an Asian guy to date a white girl, than it is for an Asian girl to date a white man.
- And generally, I don’t “aim” for Aussie, Asian or whatever. I do aim for a nice and caring person. Date the person, not the race right?
To answer the question in the title, I will explain it from my point of view. To me, there are two big aspects as to why you wouldn’t see that many Asian male and Aussie female pairings: cultural, and physical.
Cultural
As a Chinese person, I am very family-centric. My family will always come first before anyone else. This thinking guides a lot of my behaviour which some Aussies probably wouldn’t understand. And when there’s no cultural connection, it’s that much harder to make an emotional connection.
However being family-centric is also a reason why I get along with Italians and Greeks, and to a certain extent, the Irish famously. In a way, our families behave very much the same. Unfortunately, all the nice Italian/Greek/Irish girls that I’ve met were never available.
In some of the comments, Anglo girls bemoan that they would like to date an Asian guy but they never get approached by them. Again, this is a cultural thing. Aussie men are more gung-ho and more willing to stick their neck out in a bar or club situation. Make a fool of yourself? Who cares!? However, Asian men don’t want to “lose face”.
Most times I don’t approach a strange girl (any girl, not just Aussies) unless I already know her and there’s a spark. This commenter echoed my sentiments.
I’m a Korean and my girlfriend is Anglo. I would absolutely approach white girls if I got to know one in a work/educational/recreational environment, but to be honest I probably wouldn’t try to pick one up in a bar scene where I would be entering the fray with no idea what she was like, and vice versa.
Why? Well I guess due to the rarity of mixed race couples where the male is Asian and the girl is Anglo, I’ve started to assume that white girls wouldn’t be interested in me, and would bar me from the get go. As I said, if I got to know a white girl first in one of the aforementioned settings and I thought there was a bit of a spark, nothing would stop me from having a go, but I wouldn’t approach one at random in a pub.
Tofuloaf at October 17, 2006 10:40 AM
Physical
All women would like their men taller and bigger. Asian men are generally smaller and shorter, sometimes too small or too short for a typical Aussie girl. I’m 5′4″ (164cm) and 60kgs. Therefore, the pool of white women for me to potentially date is that much more limited.
No point crying about it, it’s reality. Just like how most men would prefer a woman with a curvy body, there’s nothing wrong with having physical preferences.
In the comments, there are Anglo women who proclaim that they prefer Caucasian, rather than Asian features in a man. This is the same for Asian women who’d date Anglo men exclusively. Again, it’s a preference rather than a racial thing.
There was also the obligatory mention of penis sizes in the comments. Yes we are smaller, but we can still rock the boat quite well thank you very much.
Conclusion
In general it is true that the majority of Aussie women would date within their own cultural background, but that is true for people of all other cultures in this country. One tends to stick with what one knows and feels comfortable with.
in “The Dragon”
However there are many exceptions like the sons of Bing Lee of the electronics chain in NSW, and prominent Sydney neurosurgeon Charlie Teo. In my family alone, there is one male cousin who’s only ever dated white girls, and another about to marry one.
Personally I don’t think of it along racial or cultural terms at all. It’s all highly superficial and preference-based anyway. Even if the Asian guy is as ocker as they come, that doesn’t necessarily make it easier for him to snag an Aussie girl if she prefers a white fella physically.
So no, I don’t stress too much over how come I don’t get to date a white girl. Instead, I stress over how come I don’t get to date a girl, any girl at all! 
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138 Responses to “Why don’t Aussie girls date Asian men?”
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heyy I am blondie aussie girl, 21, from sydney about 5′8″ & skinny. I have only gone out with one guy (greek 5 year relationship) since him I generally dont go for aussies, (tho I havnt really dated) but I know from my family aussies generally dont have the family values that I experienced with a euro guy, plus they generally arent as neat/clean lol..
I would think about asian guys more after reading this post cause they sound similar to euro guys, but I wouldnt reject anyone based on race or looks, they dont count for much on the end… I find tho that people often use their looks or race as an excuse for their trouble ‘picking up’, they create that in their mind & they expect it & you can tell when you’re with someone & they are say expecting you to be racist or expecting you not to like them etc. etc. people usually find whatever they expect to find.. Maybe rather than holding the idea in mind that its your race, look at other possible factors, ask for feedback from friends, or practise with girls who you dont find that attractive (you’ll feel like there’s less pressure).
Its funny tho about people who’ve experienced racism, where did you grow up? I didnt know racism existed till I met my ex who grew up in Greece, I grew up in Newtown & there you can be black, white, yellow or even purple skinned & accepted by everyone – its nice
I have never, ever had an asian guy approach me in a club, come to think of it I rarely see Asian guys at usual night spots, I met quite a few at salsa classes in the city, but they were all there with girls
I think Louisa is totally right. Unfortunately, being a victim has become so fashionable into the Politically Correct mind of so many.
I tend to see racism amongs asians more than with aussies. And it is mostly due to just being rude, asking the wrong questions, being tactless, and never being polite (never saying sorry, bumping into you, etc…).
It really doesn’t help to be 1/inelegant, 2/ rude, 3/ shy, 4/ always feeling inferior, 5/ having no sense of humour (the most important).
Most women like men with confidence and charm, and you would be surprise to see that so many fantastic women are with very ordinary looking men.
i went to burwood high school, when i was 15 an asian girl in my commerce class(i sat at a table with one other aussi girl & one indonesian girl) told us: being asian is the best & she wished that we (me & the other aussi girl) were asian too.. i thought is was funny, I’ve never thought of something like that.. im sure though if I had said that about being aussi(not that i beleive that, like i say ive never considered it), but im sure if i said it i would be considered racist.. meh racism is weird – i dont get it..
I’ve noticed also many of my euro or lebanese friends comment about an aussi (as in aussie looking- like blonde or light white person, cause technically im swedish, but many people base it on appearance) treating them differently because of their race, i dont think i treat anyone differently except maybe if someone doesnt speak good english, like my ex, i will try to be easier to understand.. but im wondering now how many people have decided the way i treat them is because of their race..
I dont think generally people from sydney who are ‘aussie’ looking arent racist, they havnt experienced it, havnt grown up with it, its not in the culture lol..
shout out to any asian guys: in the city i go to zeta bar, saphire, dragon fly, ivy, cargo + anything similar – go there & speak to a blondie – see what happens – i talk to everyone who talks to me
Wow this sounds nice Louisa! I am sure a lot of nice good looking and sophisticated Japanese boys are going to rush to the Zeta, or maybe the Ivy’s VIP lounge, to offer drinks to all the 5′8″ & skinny, blonds with cute Swedish smiles !!!
The rest of the Asians guys that can’t afford it would probably cry all their tears…:-)
lol how did u know I gots a cut smile!?!
nah seriously I havnt been to Ivys VIP area, just go to the normal dance floor like everyone else & I generally dont accept drinks from strangers, if they a-b-s-o-l-u-t-e-l-y insist, like if they bought it already, depending on the situation I may accept out of politeness, but I will buy them one back.. I dont like to owe people stuff I think it can lead to trouble.. If Im getting a drink though I will offer to buy whoever I’m with a drink anyways – guy or girl – doesnt really matter..
But I know some of the clubs I mentioned are definetely a lil on the pricey side, lucky I have a cute smile to get free entry sometimes & I dont drink much
~
Hi Mooi mate, looks like people really find this post of yours interesting eh?.
Since I have now read a LOT of the old posts, I understand something specific about you that may be of some assistance for you Cobber, and I want to help you get some of the Aussie Gold, what else are friends for right? lol.
You go spend your lesiure time in places that are stacked against your strengths man. How can you make that first important impression count in YOUR favour, in a noisy environment like a club/concert?. Girls can ONLY judge on apperances there, because you don’t get a chance to talk clearly to them. So they are forced to judge you only on your external appearence.
They are never going to know the sort of guy you are, that you are funny/educated/in well paid employment, unless you were to get a badge printed out!. Maybe you should join a club or something, or a church of thats your sort of thing?.
Anyway, good luck mate, keep tryin’.
Good Point Kiwi Tigger, and Louisa.
That’s the rule in post-capitalism society, a free market has winners and losers, and the same applies to relationships in a society that does not enforce monogamy… It’s always going to be easier for the handsome, classy guy, Asian or not (god is in the detail, and women loved details). The battle grounds are multiple, and there is a lot of smart people around that can look beyond the appearances…
Another point, Mooi, have a look at this:
http://www.news.com.au/dailytelegraph/gallery/0,22056,5022875-5010140-16,00.html
It’s Kevin Rudd’s daughter, and she is with a Chinese husband.
I’m an Asian guy, and I am concerned that any white girl that I go out with will probably become obese very soon. Asian girls and guys don’t usually get obese, whereas the majority of white girls transform from svelete hour-glass figures into massive blobs. I just cannot contemplate a skinny guy having to spend the rest of his life with a significantly larger and rounder wife. Hence my hesitation to go out with most white girls. Before I decide to make a move on a particular white girl, I need to check out her mother’s weight.
hey J
that is one big generalisation.. I know many people who dont fit into what you consider “usual” & “the majority” ..+ parents & kids can have completely different life styles & food choices. I eat a very mediteranian diet- mostly salad, beans, seafood, olive oil nothing like my family who eat food more for cold wether like stew or roasted meat, boiled veges etc..
& also did you not read the topic: ‘why don’t aussie girls date asian men’ think u gots it mixed up, perhaps too busy worrying bout the calories ur other half is consuming lol
I get what ur saying but I disagree
Lulu
Hahaha, this was the blog post that keeps on keepin’ on, eh Mooi?.
J, MATE , what a horrible and wrongheaded idea you have about Aussie women. They don’t ALL get fat once you marry them, and when they do it is every bit as much the HUSBANDS fault.
joke/ All the fat married Aussie shelias that married friends of mine, GOT fat to ruin my mates lives, when the males in question didn’t pay enough attention to them. /joke
And what about all the chubby young Asian girl students?. Auckland is FULL of fat-bum Chinese and Japanese girls mate. YUMMY ! hahahaha
Kiwi tigger
That is so true, my ex was obsessed with skinny skinny girls so he used to watch e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g I ate, I was 5′8″ & weighd 47kg… But if he was mean to me I would eat behind his back sometimes to get back at him. Childish I know, but it happens…. Although a friend of mine is anorexic because the only attention she gets from her parents is when she doesnt eat so I guess it can work both ways..
Hey Kim, I agree with wat u said there about being rude, shy, haivng no sense of humour etc etc. Most asian gusy are like that, which i have come a long way to realise. I was like that (not rude tho, but all other things you said there was reflected on me), now i cant say I am 100% funny and confident, but I am trying to work my way there. I think the culture has a lot to do with it. The tradition asian teaching tend to tell people to be more modest. We were taught that every individual must have something that he/she is better at comapred to another individual. I think they kind of over do it, resutling in no confidence and pride within most asians.
And Louisa, ignore J, please. It’s people like that make most aussie girls dont want to date asians. I am currently living in Australia, a nation full of sports. And I rarely see fat white chicks. You aussie chicks listen up: I think most of you guys (I had to say “most of”, otherwise I will be lying) are supermega hot, sexy and attractive.
Mate, I think you are looking into it to deep. I’m Asian and I went to international school in Phuket, before leaving for Uni in the UK and I moved here half way through b/c of personal reasons. Most of my friend in the UK were British, so it’s definitely not hard to blend into the society anywhere even if you haven’t live there most of your life, but you have to try harder, same thing with foreigners going to international school in Asia, some of them get teased big time.
As far as g/f goes, I dated white girls before, many of them but mostly happened in high-school. But I agree, that since I have been out of the game for a while now, it seems that I haven’t had the energy to try and hit on the local girls here.
But I don’t think it’s ‘that’ uncommon to see white girls date Asian men. I actually think that it becomes more and more common now. Throughout last year, we hang around GU George Street and I swear some day you see more white girls/Asian men holding hands than any other type of relationship. Sometimes I even say to my mate, “What’s happening here, is the dating system change again? lol”
But you know, I only found this blog last night (I don’t sleep, go to bed like 4 AM because my brain only works at night time). Look I know that I’m new on this blog, but for those girls who said that they are interested in Asian men and they are not around a lot, why don’t you guys just organize a night out and have a “Blog meeting”, then you will find a lot of them, you don’t have to date them necessarily, but it seems like if you can’t find them now, this might be a solution of most of our problems. Just a thought.
Aussie girls do date asian men!! Im marrying one soon. Ive also dated girls from UK, ireland, Turkey, Sweden. Race is no longer an issue in the 21st century.
Im an Australian asian (HK born and family in HK)- never saw race as a barrier. If you have race at the back your mind, the barrier will always be there.
When I was single and on the dating scene- I never had problems dating caucasian girls and was never turn down because of my race. Ive had the pash, the one night stand, the fling, the weirdo like everyone else.
justin, i am from hong kong too but what i can’t understand is not the local asians are dating caucasians but the overseas asians are dating them?
i am oversea student and most of the overseas student here are probably going back to their home country to work. so what’s the point of dating a australian when you are going back to your home country?
also, i also plan to date an asian looking australian girl, i never really interest in them except those look very good looking and who looks like asian, i don’t know, however, the problem i am worrying is they do get fat, and i can’t handle them.
marrying one i bet is not an option for most asian guys who are from overseas, since over 95% of them are not really interested in, the normal looking caucasians. but i know they are interested in the good looking ones, some of them.
as for why don’t aussie girls date asian men? i don’t know, for my few years stay here, i always only mingle with malaysians, koreans or chinese and even i interact with caucasians, it’s usually guys, haha. i guess i have been talking to only 5 to 6 caucasian females so far in these few years, if i am correct. for australian girls, maybe as other said, they are not interested in asians.
and for overseas asians, most are not interested in the normal looking ones, and for those local asians, they may probably like caucasians more?!
by the way, for justin, you may be very westernised? or you are an EXCEPTION?
i do know tons of hong kong guys but most are going back, or they are dating asians, what they told me is they are not interested in caucasians.
so it seems like i guess i do see, not know some austrlaian born asian guys, they do look like they are always with the white guys and are trying to date whtie girls? you can tell from their looks?
for me personally, if i don’t go back to my country, i may date one, only if she’s good looking and really compatiable with my value, however, it’s hard to find, the language is a HUGE PROBLEM.
but i do guess i won’t stay here, so whatever.
good luck to those who are trying.
to comment 110 lee.
i think the reason Aussie girls don’t date Asian guys is because of narrow minded views like yours,you seem to be quite superficial too,and not every Caucasian women gets fat,and i have seen plenty of fat Asian women too,so get over yourself,no girl either Asian or otherwise is going to date a man who only cares about looks or if shes going to put on a few kilos,wow,in this day and age there are still men who have this blinkered view of the world,i am Caucasian,not Aussie though and i date Asian men,and i have never come across one like you,good luck finding a girl who will put up with you,and for your information,we are not all unwilling to learn,i speak both mandarin and Korean,and when you meet the right person language is never a problem!
emma, for your information, this kind of thinking will not be expressed in daily life but it is perceived in minds of millions of overseas asians who come here to study, just like me.
and how narrow mind is that, physical attraction is important. i can have many girls who we can develop feelings, however, can u stay with all those people, they are only friends at the end of the day.
what differs them from girlfriend and friends is the looks, at least, you got to be physically attracted to someone, otherwise, you should call those as friends.
also, being lighter in weight is perceived as beauty across asia, your normal weight may seem abnormal to us, that’s why i can’t understand how come some white guys find some white girls attractive, or some asian girls attractive, by their standard. if by their standard, then you don’t need to understand anyway. what you think is good looking is different from what we think is good looking, remember.
also, you can speak mandarin, fluently? or just a few words?
by the way, language is a problem, i bet those who you are dating, to be frank, may be highly westernised or ABC, australian born. you see indian speak perfect english? or have a bit accent, they never have communication problems with whties, however, when i know they speak indian in their language or even english with other overseas indians, the topic they are talking about seem completely differet. so even those someone, who is caucasian can speak perfect madarin, it still may not lead to the same attraction as an asian who speak madarin, partly due to the soul behind – culture.
blinkered view of the world? i guess my view is just normal from many people from my background. it’s not superficial, it’s actually normal. those who are from my background don’t think like that may due to highly westernised or they are following the message of accepting anyone and love anyone despite their race. frankly, if a caucasian or black can speak perfect madarin, and know perfectly about what i get used to in my culture, i wouldn’t mind to be their friend.
in reverse, if you say i am fluent in english and english culture to be friend with them, sorry, that’s not me then. i will never be familiar with the english lanaguae and culture just as the way i did with my mother tongue and culture.
no one can ever completely understand another culture,you have to be born into that culture to fully understand it,and what i was saying is that you are rapidly becoming a minority with your views on mixed race relationships,i see mixed couples everyday,both slim and not so slim,attractive and not so,you need to look around more closely and see what is really going on,the world is no longer black and white.
as for my language capabilities,i am a university student and currently in my 3rd year of mandarin,im fluent to teaching standards,but as a foreigner,will i ever be truely fluent?
Please understand from my point of view,to generalise and state that we all get fat or cant communicate is rather offensive,there are those of us out there who have a partner of asian origins,and do not want to be made to feel as though its not acceptable,culturally or otherwise,and thankfully not every asian male shares your views,and the men i have dated are not all westernised, so you dont speak for as many as you think,as far as acceptence despite race,and i certainly dont expect you or any other asian person to be fully versed in western culture and language,its the differences in us that make the world interesting,all im saying is look outside your cultural boundries,i did and im all the better for it.
Lee, you may not THINK you are narrow minded, but mate, you certainly seem to be. The really funny thing is, quite often the person with this “Gotta be pretty/skinny” attitude THEMSELF isn’t attractive or fit. We all know some skinny wimp bloke who wants a perfect girlfriend, when really he should go to the gym himself don’t we.
I will let you in on a secret, the average attractive Aussie girl probably wants a taller and fitter bloke than you are, just based on statistics. But don’t be upset about that, it isn’t racism, they want the tallest bloke they can attract, genetic fitness is linked to height.
And as for asking if someone is fluent, mate, get OVER yourself. Are YOU really fluent in mandarin?. Do you think YOUR mandarin is perfect?. I bet a university professor in your home country could set you an exam you would not get 100 percent in.
Emma, did you realise that no-one really fully understands the ins and outs of even their OWN culture?. Do you or I really understand say, a farmers life perfectly, or a stockbroker?. All of our human cultures have more in common than they have otherwise though.
Lee is the typical asian guy who can’t understand the complexity of relationship between a man and a woman, so why ask him to understand the friendship between 2 different cultures ? Lee is the reason why asians are not respected in the world. He is the caricature of what everybody hates about asians.
So as an asian, I say thank you Lee, because thanks to your narrow mind, thanks to your meat-head mentality, we, the intelligent, educated, asian are like beacon in the crowd. We stand-out, and we can get to know the most interesting educated, refined, and smart australian girls, the ones that are traveling the world, and can speak more than 2 languages, the lawyers, doctors, engineers, architects, professors, writers, the middle class or upper class ladies, the ones you can’t even touch, or see, because they will never go to your crappy places. They would never even notice your existence, ever, because you are an ant.
I am sorry to say it Lee, but when I see you, when I have you as my students, I just laugh, and can’t help but pity you. You are just a shame for asia. You are maybe in Australia, but you are still living in asia, you never left your town, you don’t travel, you won’t change, you can’t. You don’t learn, you are a tourist with a student visa, you are on the surface.
Your parents are saving money for you to study, but you are just wasting your time here, you are actually spending their money to finance the australian university system. We accept you in australian universities because you are just money, and better, you will not stay in australia, you will not even be able to. Your grades are artificially boosted, so you can stay in the uni system and go back quickly to asia, and still pay, and pay, full fees for your uni for your whole studi. But seriously, with your skills, where could you even survive outside of your town, seriously, in the world ??? You can’t even understand it.
Lee is the typical asian guy who can’t understand the complexity of relationship between a man and a woman, so why ask him to understand the friendship between 2 different cultures ? Lee is the reason why asians are not respected in the world. He is the caricature of what everybody hates about asians.
So as an asian, I say thank you Lee, because thanks to your narrow mind, thanks to your meat-head mentality, we, the intelligent, educated, asian are like beacon in the crowd. We stand-out, and we can get to know the most interesting educated, refined, and smart australian girls, the ones that are traveling the world, and can speak more than 2 languages, the lawyers, doctors, engineers, architects, professors, writers, the middle class or upper class ladies, the ones you can’t even touch, or see, because they will never go to your crappy places. They would never even notice your existence, ever, because you are an ant.
I am sorry to say it Lee, but when I see you, when I have you as my students, I just laugh, and can’t help but pity you. You are just a shame for asia. You are maybe in Australia, but you are still living in asia, you never left your town, you don’t travel, you won’t change, you can’t. You don’t learn, you are a tourist with a student visa, you are on the surface.
Your parents are saving money for you to study, but you are just wasting your time here, you are actually spending their money to finance the australian university system. We accept you in australian universities because you are just money, and better, you will not stay in australia, you will not even be able to. Your grades are artificially boosted, so you can stay in the uni system and go back quickly to asia, and still pay, and pay, full fees for your uni for your whole studi. But seriously, with your skills, where could you even survive outside of your town, seriously, in the world ??? You can’t even understand it.
HK people are known to be rude, but most of them can speak english, what happened with Lee ? Time warp, fresh immigrant, too much new-territories, just got out of Wall-city ?
Lee – some interesting points raised – I dont think how someone looks separates a friend from a love interest. Often, especially when I first meet a guy, I wont really be attracted to how they look, but to how they are. The looks attraction comes later. I dont think attraction to looks means much. The person you are going to spend some of every day of the rest of your life – I think there is a lot more important things than what they look like, I would have thought especially for a guy, I mean girls are crazy we wear high heels, tight clothes etc. to look pretty, but with clothes or cars guys seem to care more about how it works, the comfort or the practicality than the look lol. Though I guess guys can also very competitive & if maybe if they are not successful competitors in say sports or business maybe a way for them to feel like they are ‘winning’ against other men would be to have a hot girlfriend.
Which brings me to my aggreement with tigger, I too have noticed it is often insecure people who care about looks a lot. I am happy with myself so how my partner looks doesnt bother me. The more insecure someone is (regardless of how they look to others, it only matters how they look in their own eyes) the more important the hotness of their partner is.
Lee, have you ever had a girl friend or had se’x?
Poor Lee, you just don’t understand.
I am not even trying to change you, I am not your father or your professor. I don’t care if you think you are right. Because it is obvious you cannot understand.
You are rude without even knowing why, and it is not event a question of culture, of being Chinese, Asian or Caucasian.
You do not understand even the basic things about Australia. This country is amazingly friendly, people here are welcoming you, from any background (Australians are not only Caucasians), any social class, not only posh, snobs or sport addicted people. You just don’t understanding the luck you have to be treated well and to be tolerated here. This country is welcoming Asians like no other country in the world, and not even imposing you to change your culture. You are invited here so you can appreciate what it is to live in one of the luckiest country in the world, but you cannot understand it. What a drama.
This is why you are a shame for Asians. You don’t represent the majority of us, even if you think you are normal. We should give you a medal, because you are unique, because you are what Asians try not to be in the world.
You are a poor tourist with a student visa, paying his full fees for Uni, and yes sorry to say, professors boost your grade so you can go back faster to HK, because they don’t want you to fail, and fail again. They don’t want you to jam the system. We are all doing it, when we have hopeless students.
You are insulting people, women, men, Asians and Australians, by your arrogant manners, and you dare saying you are normal!!! You don’t represent Asian, Lee, you just represent yourself.
Of course you can only judge people inside and outside of your community, on their “look”, on their basic attributes (legs, shape, face, body weight…) it is the only thing your mind can do because you are a superficial Asian bogan.
Since Lee is already getting raped, I will leave him alone.
I just want to ad that, I have recently read a report (well it wasn’t THAT recent, it was about a few months ago) that the statistics done in the USA has shown that, Caucasian girls are generally less prone to date an Asian. The reasons being that a) Asian boys are too unfit and short b) Asian boys are generally nerds, especially those who Caucasian girls have a chance to come across.
So I would like to say, just like what Kim said, we have been generalized. and we do have to try very hard to try to break the stereotype, just like you have to try very hard to change Lee’s mind. I mean, I have been here for about 4 years now, and I have never been asked out. I have, however, been rejected a few times. I would also like to say, I believe theres nothing wrong with my personality, because most of my friends are Caucasians (including girls) and they like me as a friend. So yeah…I am just so depressed and confused now…sigh
[...] Over the weekend, there’s been a sudden flurry of activity on my post “Why don’t Aussie girls date Asian men?” [...]
Alex, if these girls are your friends, ask them to find you a girl. Girls love to do this kind of thing.
Alex, nerds are cooler when they are funny. Laugh at yourself, don’t be so serious.
Stay natural, nice, polite, galant, be a respectful man, trust your asian values, people will respect you for what you believe in, and it is always better to be loved by someone who respect you for your integrity.
You will notice that we are actually well perceived in Europe, because we are harmonious and calm, we are more reassuring than a lot of other ethnic group. If you want to be reassured, Americans and Australians guys are perceived to be rude, arrogant, shallow, emotionaly-handicaped, superficial and hypocrite in Europe. The Australian bloke stereotype, is actually the same as the gay stereotype in Europe…it is a stupid cliche and as dumb as that US statistics on Asians.
Lol, Kim. Thanks for the advices. I did try to get my ‘girl friends’ to get me a ‘girlfriend’, but usually they are just too caught up with their live and couldn’t be bothered to worry about mine. But hey, I don’t know, I suppose I should try and help myself instead of asking other people to help me. The thing is just no Caucasian girls every appear to be interested in me. You see people hooking up on parties all the time, and as you can imagine, on parties people just hook up with whoever, without knowing their personality and such. It is all just for fun. Now I am not saying I want to hook up with a girl, I am just wondering if Caucasian girls never try hooking up with me, then there should only be an obvious issue: the race.
I dunno, lol.
Here we go, back to the beginning…Alex, stop finding wrong excuses…it might be you, your friends, your taste for a type of girl, or your friends, the place you hang out, the girls around…There can be so many things…but blaming it on generality is just too easy. Race is a biological reality, but as well a social generalisation. Situation are all different. A smile, a conversation, a date are every time singular things…
Read all the above comments, you’ll see, we asians don’t really have a problem with cauca, apart from falling into false excuse.
Alex I dont think caucasion or asian or any girls for that matter go up to a guy at a party & start hooking up…
Guy comes up to you, starts a simple convo, isnt rude (well unless you’re into that), remembers your name (& uses it), looks into your eyes. Shows interest in you, ask questions, compliments you (be specific otherwise it seems insincere – repeating “you’re hot” is a just little thoughless) dances with you, is clearly comfortable with himself etc. then maybe you hook up.
Though everyone is different for example I will go up to a guy & start a convo, but I dont hook up with randoms…
I reccomend you read some of Alan Pease books – I dont remember the name’s but there is a couple that will really help you with starting convos, building rapport & of course picking up lol
But I cannot believe that people actually think there is so much racism in australia! We’re all people jeeze.. race differences, different customs etc. are interesting!! they make things better, more diverse, can teach us new things, new ways of thinking…. I dont see a difference between speaking to an asian or an aussie – I think that thinking caucasion girls (which I am) are different & hard to get etc. is a huge generalisation & pretty racist
Well, I never pack-raped someone before, . . . do you guys also feel dirty now?. lol.
Hey Alex, don’t despair mate. My goodness, you should have been with me today, I saw a very interesting and intelligent looking girl, very well fitted out to nurse a mans babies shall we say?. And she had on a tee shirt that had
” I *heart symbol* Nerds ”
printed on it. It was really funny to see the ( other nerds ) do the same thing I did which was obviously think
“Interesting in the extreme !” and follow her down the street with their eyes . . . AND THEN NOT GO TRY TO TALK TO HER
My excuse is I am too old. Alex, we should stop using excuses.
Hmmm, Kim, I think your theory is pretty true actually. Perhaps I just think too much. I delude myself into believing that Asian guys can never get Cauca girls. But I mean…I have tried, you know? Maybe I just need to try harder? lol
Lulu, I don’t mean to be racist by thinking white girls are hard to get. But they just are (for me at least)! LOL, Maybe I just don’t know hwo to talk to girls…I try to be funny and all that. At first I always seem to get their attention, but then they soon start looking for other guys. I really sometimes don’t know wat to talk about. I try to talk about their interest (the band that like, the things they like etc) but it doesn’t seem to work well…so I am a bit confused…haha. Also I ahve recently found out that clubs are generally too loud to start a convo with someone…and I don’t go to parties much. The parties are pretty limited in terms of the rang of people you meet anyways, is always that same old group of people. Where do you think is a good place to meet girls?
Lol Uncle Tigger, whereabout are you from? Yeah we should stop using excuses…well I guess I have to make myself believe they are excuses first…
Tiger dont worry – age is just a number
I think ANYWHERE there are girls is a great place to meet them (which will be pretty much everywhere – besides maybe a guys bathroom – well cept for some weirdo girls hehe) ..
I used to work in direct sales, you know those annoying people who stop you on the street to get you to sign up to a charity (apologies to anyone i p!ssed off lol), I used to speak to 100s of people everyday & only a couple would register. My point is that the law of averages always prevails – the more people you speak to, the more girls you’ll pick up – simple math right
Actually if you’re shy I would reccomend spending a month doing direct sales – trust me – you wont be shy after! google ‘elite advertising group’ … & do read the books i recomended by Allan Pease – they will help you a lot with conversations/people etc.
If you’re having trouble with conversations just remember everyone likes to talk about themselves – if you’re interested in them – they will love you … practice with people you come accross just at work, at the bank, the supermarket, on bus, walking a dog etc. etc. make it your goal to start a convo with as many people as possible, you’ll be surprised how easy it becomes – no one (normal) will reject a question & a genuine smile
Mens health magazine too – they have some great tips – that are so true … I wish every guy read mens health lol
Don’t compare to the USA. Attitudes there come and go and differs upon what region you are referring to. For example, an Asian man’s interracial dating opportunities in New York City will be vastly different compared to Los Angeles, San Francisco or Seattle. Race still permeates American society because racial strife and status quo has been fabrics of American history since the beginning. It is not uncommon to find 3rd or 4th generation Chinese-American or Japanese-Americans still pure and full blooded, while in Canada or Mexico, most of them are mixed by the 2nd generation.
When a group is excluded from assimilation or amalgamation, there is groundwork for future conflict. For example, that Korean boy who did the Virginia Tech massacre may have become paranoid because of his previous rejection by Caucasian girls and racist treatment in childhood.
I am a white aussie girl and I only date Asian men. Mostly Vietnamese but also Japanese.
Not that I would’nt date guys from other Asian countries, but in Adelaide, Australia we have a huge Vietnamese community and I have a lot of Viet. friends.
Just to let people know, nearly ALL the Asian guys I know prefer White chicks to Asian girls, except often when the time comes to meet their family!!!
I have been engaged to 2 Vietnamese guys and once I started dating them, never went with another white guy.
Asian guys really know how to treat a girl like a princess, give you loads of attention and love and enjoy shopping almost as much as I do!!! What more could you ask for.
Also they are not vulgar and crass as a lot of Aussie guys are.
I wish Asian guys were not so timid as often you do have to make the first move as lot of girls I know don’t date Asian men and that is mostly why they find it hard to approach us -Those girls don’t know what they’re missing out on!!!!
Hello guys, I’m Mark and Im 16. From what I been reading from other comments there’s been great views about the understanding of others and on there opinions towards other races and culture differences.I mean it does create concern to all that comes from different back rounds.I came from Philippines and i grew up in Australia since i was three, i like to wish i know what i mean can be considered at least descent but ill keep it simple for me.
Us Asian guys know how we feel more delude and pointed outside the circle at times when it comes to dating or approaching these types of girls compared to Aussie blokes
.. yea it’s a cut rope ready to snap. some Aussie Asians are persisted to always find the hot girl first and to be more apparent it’s chosen other wise, especially in adolescence(to ever is equated). I had thing going where i had something for this 1 girl who i knew had not even a chance to go out with or even start a good convo, i didn’t have the guts to do anything about it cause of the people she hang with and people she knew that in means i could never even compare myself with them to her.. To generalize i knew it wasn’t going to lead anywhere but i kept with it. My friend his Swiss and he seems to have no problem talking to girls, either cause he puts him self out to make the opportunity. Some Asian guys likely to me tend to keep it upside down and not carry ourselfs to deep.
(srry i know it’s not really specifyig to the topic)At times u really got to let these girls come to u, they often have a particular interest if u step out ur shadow..but hey there not going to walk right up and give u their number. You gotta put urself in the mix and show the outside of who u r, not someone that u think that will catch their eye but shed motives that will capture there appeal to realise you more them. I know it may seem like ur kept in the another culture, trying to make like u are more as part of it as they are. knowing of what they may think of u isn’t going to help because of ur back round but it shouldn’t matter by who u are and what u believe. Australia is a multicultural nation, and i know some don’t look into respect on other cultures and like in any other country’s there always going to be this type of convention. srry im drifting and making no sense i think.it’s like 1:41 am in the morning and i got to go to sleep..hopefully some of this is worth reading, don’t worry that only brings doubt and confusion on what is actually inside the picture frame. you’ll realize when u ask even for help. Good luck and take care to whom ever is reading ;D
Hi,
I’m an aussie girl from a small town. I’ve got to say, I am very unsophisticated and any man approaching me needs at least two tries. The first where I register nothing because I’m in shock. The next, try again a week later, ‘cos I’ve processed it and am ready to talk. I recommend 2 approaches for you guys everytime! I have seen too many guys run and they don’t realise it’s a good thing that not all women are social experts. I also agree that many aussie women are missing out, ‘cos asian aussies are hot. It’s the juxtaposition of look and personality. There is a lovely one living near me, and even though his girlfriend is the goodlooker, German, he’s the one with the understated charm. She won’t let other girls anywhere near him either I’ve noticed.