If you were a teenager in the 80s, then you’d know the movie “Pretty in Pink“. In it, Jon Cryer’s character Ducky is best friend to Molly Ringwald’s Andie. What Andie doesn’t know is, Ducky has the biggest crush on her. Unfortunately for Ducky, Andie is in love with Blane played by Andrew McCarthy. But Blane is from a rich family, and Andie isn’t so he’s not supposed to be with her.
That in a nutshell was the story. It was driven by the angst of the three characters, all pining for one another. If you haven’t seen it, I won’t spoil the ending for you. It isn’t an obvious one but rest assured, it’s EMO x 100.
The more interesting side of the love triangle is definitely that of Ducky’s unrequited love for Andie. The reason for that is many of us guys, and girls to a certain extent, can see him in us, especially during those hormonally charged and socially awkward teen years.
We all can understand the pain and anguish. Back then, what can hurt more than having an unrelenting crush on someone who not only does not feel the same way about you, but tells you in excruciating detail about their own unrelenting crush on somebody else?
And as in the movie, when you are in that situation the worst possible things that the girl can say to you are:
- “You’re such a good friend to me.”
- “You’re like a brother to me.”
Ouch and ouch.
I have not fallen for a platonic female friend before, but whilst growing up I have had many crushes on girls who didn’t feel the same about me. And it hurt pretty bad at the time because I hadn’t yet learnt how to deal with it.
Therefore, I think all of us have to go through the “Ducky” phase and the rejections in order to learn about ourselves and about dealing with the ups and downs of affairs of the heart.
Looking back, what were your “Ducky” moments like? Or were you, and maybe still an “Andie”? Tell. 
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14 Responses to “The Ducky Syndrome”
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Blur Ting: wahaha you were too kind. Nice of you to preserve his dignity.
girlstar7: yeah usually girls don’t go through the Ducky thing. It was good that you cut things in the bud by saying “friends”. And it is true that you can’t force feelings but damn it, we don’t know it until we try or ask.
Never had a “Ducky” that I know of, but was a super size “Andie” in school. Let’s just put it this way. No boyfriend in high school but 5 full diaries on basically one guy (which for some weird reason, I still “crave” even now!) Pathetic I know! Haha! But I was pretty lucky that there was never a Andie-Blane or Ducky-Andie moment between hubby and me. I guess if its meant to me, it will just happened. Cheh…
well…girls do go thru the Ducky thingy..
at least i do. OUCH… =_=
Once I attended a meeting and this guy walked into the room and gushed “Oh my God, I had the biggest crush on you (many many years ago). We used to take the same bus to school every morning. You were from xxx girls school right? Do you remember me?” I was like “Oh no, who is this guy?” … but since we were in the same meeting, I said “Oh, but of course…”
Being female I can probably relate more to Andy. I’ve never had a guy say he just saw me as a friend or more like a sister (think girls don’t cop those comments so much). Closest I can relate is to is in my teenage years having MASSIVE crushes on older guys (I did taekwondo and there were many twentysomething guys there while I was a mere 15). Of course, being 15 I knew these 25 year old guys were completely out of my reach but it didn’t stop me from lusting after them. One of these older guys that I had a huge crush on in year ten ended up getting engaged to someone else. Ouch.
Unfortunately I have used the ‘friends’ line many times on guys. I know, I know, they were probably really hurt. But I think it’s better than to lead them on, making them believe somethign was going to come out of it. I’d rather be honest from the start. I think quite a few of my male friends were actually after me from the start but ended up getting stuck in the ‘friend zone’ cause i wouldn’t date them. I know, it’s what guys complain about but if we don’t like you in that way, we don’t and it ain’t happening!
BTW despite being still in nappies in the 80s I HAVE seen Pretty in Pink on cable. and I actually think Ducky is kinda cute
Jewelle: wow so you had a long crush on this guy. At least he didn’t turn around and told you that he likes somebody else. Better to be an Andie than a Ducky.
mf: all part of life, we all have to learn to handle the rejections.
darn, looks like i missed out alot when i was younger… i don’t hv much crush on anyone in the 80s and i’ve always thought its a “sin”. (see how poisonous our elders psych our mind?) the only time i remembered was a boy sitting beside me gave me a lollipop (in a ring form) and asked me to be his wife. I threw the “ring” pop at him and out from his mouth came a string of vulgarities… >_
I’ve been rejected a lot. lol. Does this make me a Ducky Jr. or somethin’? Or is it perhaps that I set my standards really high and I’m just too damn picky? I’ve always refused to settle. Maybe that’s the problem.
Who the hell knows?
hey its me again good piece on how u related and tied t focus of the article to this movie. and 4 this i hope u dont get comercial.
i think everyone’s been a Ducky at some stage. I had the biggest crush on these twins 2 years my senior through high school. they were really nice. they’d even take the time to talk. but at the end of the day there was an implicit understanding of not interested outta your league. still had some great dreams hahaha … ah the imagination is a wonderful thing.
explicist: you thought having a crush is a sin? Wow, and look how you turned out to be. Haha. And that story of boy giving you a lollipop ring is just too cute.
shelly: welcome to the Ducky club! I don’t see why you shouldn’t be picky because it’s your own happiness that we are talking about. Unless of course, being picky and hence being alone is bringing you down. Then maybe, being less picky is good. But ah, you can’t force the feeling as I’ve said.
anon: thanks! Commercial? Extra money is always good but I don’t think my writing would change seeing as how I’m most comfortable with the way things are now.
Rob: twins?! Woo yeah. Haha I know what you mean about the “implicit”. It’s like they are probably thinking, “Don’t force us to reject you and we’ll get along just fine.”
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