Here’s how I shop and I suspect how most other men shop:

  1. Have something in mind, or seen something that I want.
  2. Go home and research on prices: Internet, classifieds. Get an average figure.
  3. Look in the Yellowpages or wander about the area, comparing prices in a maximum of three places.
  4. Settle on the one with the best value for money.
  5. Pay for it. Leave.
  6. OR if item is out of stock, place an order. Leave.
  7. Once at the shops, maximum time taken: 1 hour.

Here’s how I *perceive* women shop:

  1. Have something vaguely in mind with no specific details.
  2. Wander around window-shopping, browsing, touching and trying on everything.
  3. Change mind at least twice on what they want, should they buy it, and what colour to get it in.
  4. Think about it more over lunch and then coffee. “Oooh dessert! Hmm, I can’t decide …”
  5. A few feet-killing hours (for the poor boyfriend who has to tag along) later, finally decides on item and the place to get it from.
  6. Sees an accessory that she likes which she didn’t see earlier. Problem: it doesn’t match what she had made up her mind on. Cycle repeats from step 3.
  7. Ok finally decided – grabs the item from the rack BUT at the same time as another woman. “I saw that first!” “My hand was on it first!” MEEEOW!
  8. Boyfriends of both women sit back and watch. “Dude, this is hot.”

And a classic:

  • A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
  • A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need because it’s on sale.

All the preceeding bits were so that I can lead on to this story about the first day that Stella McCartney’s special range for Target stores goes on sale right across Australia:

A buying frenzy broke out in Sydney today as Target launched the new Stella McCartney designer range of clothes.

Women reported stripping off in front of male shoppers in the rush to try on the new range and snap up an item before someone else.

Others were stripping the clothes of mannequins, amid reports of bad language, pushing, shoving and even the odd blow in some stores.

One exasperated reader emailed smh.com.au to say: “Women are such morons when it comes to clothes … No wonder men don’t understand us and find us frustrating sometimes.”

Stella event’s a real rip off – National – smh.com.au

Kittens in fighting poses
MEEEOW!