Losing my temper in a nightclub
I have a very short fuse but it’s only my immediate family who has the misfortune of seeing me lose my temper badly. Outside my family, I hold it back pretty well. Even when I have dust-ups with the boss, it’s mild in comparison.
However, if I can’t hold it back anymore it blows up just as badly as it does around my family. Thus far, these incidents have happened exclusively in nightclubs - a total of four times.
Twice, it involved female strangers who thought that they could behave badly and expected me to quietly eat it up, just because I’m a small Asian man and they were female. Once it was me yelling at an out of control female friend who was drunk.
The fourth and most recent time happened on Saturday night at The Deen.
Here’s how it went down …
Muttley* and his two mates barged through the crowd towards the bar and starts to loudly berate and gesture two Asian guys to get away from the bar. The two Asians had got their drinks and moved away without getting too upset about it all. I was at the bar next to these two guys, and I was thinking,
Just try the same shit on me buddy, just try it …
The mutts’ behaviour was bordering on racist. And even if it wasn’t I suspect that they thought they could pull this shit on meek looking Asians and get away with it.
At that time I had been patiently waiting at the bar with Simon for 10 minutes. Muttley put his drink in between us and shoved in. I took a deep breath and let it go then - Simon had already ordered the drinks, so no harm no foul. Yet.
The drinks came and at the exact same moment, Muttley stepped back away from the bar. I leaned over to get my drink from Simon and this was when the fireworks happened.
Muttley: HEY! You fucking cut me off! Where’s your fucking manners?!
Me: *took a second deep breath, handed Muttley’s drink back to him*
Muttley: Fucking idiots …
Me: *I snapped* GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY FACE!
Muttley: *Took a step back*
Me: *eyes all bugged out and yelling at the top of my voice now* Yeah I’m fucking smaller than you! What!? Go on! Push in again! Fucking do it! Go on, piss me off again!!!
At this stage, Simon was holding me back and Muttley’s friends were holding him back. I could see the look of bewilderment on his face, like he couldn’t quite understand what just happened. I seethed and stared at his group till they walked off.
When I took my drink again, my hands were shaking. The rage that overcame me so suddenly scared even myself. Only then did I think about being lucky to not be yanked out of there by the bouncers, or worse - being punched or having something broken over my head.
I overheard another guy who’d witnessed this said to Simon, “Shit dude. Your friend is funny. ‘I’m smaller than you!’ That’s awesome.”
Except that I didn’t think that it was funny or awesome. It was dumb. Losing one’s temper in a nightclub is a potentially dangerous thing. I said this the past times that this has happened and yet it still happens.
How timely it was on Friday that I talked about “When are you too old to party?“. Maybe it’s not when I’d lose my energy and drive to go out. Rather it might be when I deem that I’m too dangerous to myself because I can’t tolerate other people’s bad behaviour anymore.
Perhaps I should look into being a practising Buddhist instead of just one in name. If I’m gonna be clubbing still, I think I could use the calmness. If not the calmness, then at least a balance between being a pushover and letting loose with blind rage.
Technorati Tags: anger management, clubbing
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21 Responses to “Losing my temper in a nightclub”
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Mar 26 2007 / 8:42 pm
i know where your coming from. without going into any streotyping, there is bound to be some type of bullying (be it male OR female) if you look “different” from the rest ~ short, fat, different ethnicity etc.
i usually go for the more demure approach (for the fear of being kicked out of the club) but its becoming more of a point these days where i jz dont give a damn and say my piece. perhaps its an age thing.
good on ya btw.
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Mar 26 2007 / 9:11 pm
Whoa. Great to hear nothing more came out of it, it could have been potentially dangerous, even fatal. Touch wood!! But even the meekest, mildest person has his or her own limits, and I guess yours was pushed somehow/you were rubbed the wrong way. But no harm, no foul, hopefully there won’t be a next time any time soon! Cheers and party safe =)
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Mar 26 2007 / 10:08 pm
OMG its so me lor!
One time i was groped by this tall huge black guy in a club in CA..which i didnt understand cause I didnt have a nice ass but anyway. I turned around and just fucking staretd punching him non stop and swearing until my friends pulled me away from him and away from the club.
I was seething mad that my friends did not punch him out too.Only after 1 week did I realize that he was about 3 heads taller and twice wider than all of us…i couldnt even punch his face it was too high.And he had his whole football team similarly sized with him as well.
I still lose it sometimes esp whilst driving.Its so scary that I just want to get a baseball bat and smash the other car…this is why I take the bus to work.
Maybe we both need to be more zen. One buddhist post a week.
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Mar 26 2007 / 10:43 pm
mirebella: the bullying does happen but usually I’d be a little bit more street smart as to let things go because usually it’s really not worth it. Though the balance should be sought.
Ash: yeah I sure hope so. Serenity now!
sourrain: wow your story is even better but scarier too because you actually hit the guy. Were you particular upset or a little drunk that night, or did you just snap?
One Buddhist post a week eh. See lah. This post has certainly been cathartic though.
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Mar 26 2007 / 11:22 pm
no thats the issue..but I just lost it and I actually hit him..lucky he thought it was farnee..summore can smile at me.To him I aws probably like a useless little dog barking up a tree seeing that he so huge..
I damn ganas lor.Its dangerous being with me.
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Mar 27 2007 / 1:28 am
If you learn to manage your anger, please come back and post a blog about it. I have horrible anger problems. I guess you can say some people get on my fucking nerves. I would like to learn from you, because you seem to be much nicer than I ever have been. Does anger management really even work?
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Mar 27 2007 / 9:01 am
sourrain: so basically you have a propensity for just losing it. And when you lose it, it’s like all sudden right? Yup, that’s me. Scary lah.
shelly: yes I shall. Thanks for thinking me to be nice, hahah … I try my best. I think anger management would help in helping you look at things differently. When you don’t put a priority on something, then I don’t think you would get angry about it anymore. That’s how I view it.
Perspective, yeah. Gotta always keep that in mind.
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Mar 27 2007 / 10:05 am
you did us proud.
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Mar 27 2007 / 11:00 am
You were entirely justified. Well done yaself!!
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Mar 27 2007 / 12:28 pm
charsiew: in the moment yes, I had to stand up to these dumbfucks. But boy it could have been dangerous.
steph: thanks! Though I was nervously scanning the room after. Took me an hour before I settled back into partying again.
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Mar 27 2007 / 4:40 pm
the best part is i can feel it comming…i get a heat rising up frm my feet all the way to my face I can feel it heating up…scary lor…cause cannot control, and it makes me do things that is dangerous..
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Mar 27 2007 / 7:29 pm
i have male friends who frequently have to stop me from resorting to physical violence in clubs.
they tell me it’s because i’m 5′1 and female and because they worry about me, but i think it’s because they know the kind of hurt i could cause someone when i’m really pissed off.
i’m sick and tired of being groped, and of being treated like the little submissive wifey by complete strangers who have wet dreams about pingpong balls and home cooked fried rice every night of the week.
NOT GOING TO HAPPEN.
/rant
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Mar 27 2007 / 8:04 pm
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Mar 28 2007 / 7:34 am
Haha, I can so relate to that.
Talking abt being too old to party, I was actually edged out from my standing place in an already very crowded club in Singapore by three barely legal girls gyrating cowboy-style to the table legs (albeit a very tall one). Seriously.
But the joy of being older (or was it bitchier?) is that I was wise enough not to waste my energy on them. I just grabbed my handbag, unintentionally *cough cough* hit one of the girls with it and then walk off. I love clubbing.
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Mar 28 2007 / 7:47 am
A couple of months ago, some friends and I were at a pub. This group of sleazy guys came up to one of my friends and groped her on the ass. Boy, did she lose it! She started punching him in the head (luckily she is 5′10″ and could reach his head). He looked really pissed off and went to actually hit her back, but luckily his friend held him back. It was pretty scary actually, as the guy looked like he definitely would have lashed out at my friend.
So yeah…these things happen at clubs, sometimes your anger just gets the better of you. There are a lot of dickheads out there, you just have to know how to control your anger when they hit on you / try to intimidate you… -
Mar 28 2007 / 10:24 am
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Mar 31 2007 / 1:54 pm
wah, sounds scary leh!
hehehe i used to be pushed and “touched” in the nightclub
like u, I endured till one day, i slapped the guy who pushed me around.
it all adds up u know -
Mar 31 2007 / 2:12 pm
natnatniv: yup it definitely adds up. Now all we have to learn is to control the inevitable explosion when it all comes back out.
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Mar 31 2007 / 8:13 pm
you just exploded and your whole body is shaking ? I had that experience before. It’s scary. I swear i could have fucked up that guy right there and there.
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Mar 31 2007 / 8:26 pm
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