(via Defamer)
Still on the topic of sex, last week Sam de Brito wrote a piece titled “Flogging a Dead Horse” (that’s another euphemism for you). In it, he quoted feminist Naomi Wolfe who had this to say about men’s fondness for porn:
In the end, porn doesn’t whet men’s appetites; it turns them off the real thing.
To which Sam adds:
As much as going to a bar or pub or the women’s shoe department of David Jones is an imperfect, sometimes contrived way to meet women, it does require social interaction, which I’ve said time and time again, is an essential component of being a functioning human.
Now, however, it seems many men, when offered this option, choose the far easier alternative of squeezing one out at their desktop.
Again, I have nothing against wanking, but I think internet porn can seriously mess up some guys; it raises unrealistic expectations, it desensitises them and turns them into sexual zombies.
I agree completely with Sam. I enjoy looking at and having social interactions with women. I think humans are social creatures, and that it’s an essential part of feeling alive. In this context, porn is a poor substitute even though it can be part of a healthy sex life if not taken to the extreme.
And I somewhat disagree with what Naomi Wolf says because I’m still very fond of real women. Much as I love porn and self-love, I much prefer the smell and feel of a woman who’s lying next to me. And when I have a partner, I’m definitely not going to choose porn, nor TV, or sports, or going out with the guys, or drinks or whatever, over sex with her. I’d be nucking futs. 
10 Responses to “Porn over real women? Never!”
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a real woman beats porn and self love anyday.
my worst experience with a woman was still better than any self love moment I’ve experienced. maybe I’m just lucky or I have lousy self-serve technique.
I don’t think porn seriously screws people up though. sure there are a few who actually believe it, but generally porn is so detached from reality that most of us can differentiate. It’s really no more damaging to a person’s ability to have a real relationship as say Mills and Boon.
I beg to differ – bad sex is worse than self-sex.
http://mooiness.com/2007/04/10/i-can-be-a-great-monk/
Romance novels work on a different level. If you read Sam’s article, basically the danger with porn is that it is always tied to orgasms which is a self-reinforcing reward which makes ppl seek it out over other methods. Some ppl are more susceptible to this than others of course.
Like everything in life, the key is moderation.
I read about a guy who could only get off when he touched himself while watching the hooker he bought touch herself. He couldnt get it up enough to have sex with her. He was too used to watching porn and workin’ it himself to be able to actually enjoy real sex.
That makes me sad, can women become redundant and only sexually useful in pornographic form?
Men can become redundant so much quicker. After all, current scientific technologies have rendered the need for males obsolete. In the future any males born might just be made to sit in the corner with a lot of porn to keep them out of trouble.
On another note, it has eben noted that since the introduction of Internet porn, the Rapes in the US of A have decreased by something like 85%. So, there is a good side effect of easily accessible porn.
Like others have noted, porn doesn’t come close to a good woman … but a lot of it might be better looking than the person you’re currently doing at any one time!
van: the whole point of getting a prostitute is to be able to have sex with a real woman! I think if one has reached a stage like the guy in your story has, he needs to seek help.
And no, a real women would never become redundant.
Dabido: both sexes can become redundant if technology allows it or we become too lazy about it. I definitely would still want the real thing. Most porn actresses do look good but a healthy mind would know that that’s only fantasy.
heh. sometimes self pleasuring beats a cheap screw eh.
eh.. i meant to say lousy lay. sorry. late hour. messed up vocab.
irene: sometimes, a cheap screw is a lousy lay. You get what you paid for! Hahaha!
my friend had a cheap screw in singapore that blew his mind. if i’m not mistaken it only cost him sgd70. heh. so that doesn’t always ring true. or maybe he was desperate enough that any warm body to hold was more than enough to satisfy him.
Irene: hmm, that good eh? Remind me to get the location of ya next time. Hah!