FriendsIn one episode of “Extras“, Ricky Gervais’ character Andy is trying to avoid hanging out with a fellow extra who is very boring. But the other guy can’t take the hint and kept on pestering Andy, until Andy finally told him off in a very funny scene, “Look! I just don’t like you ok?!”

Asking for links is a bit like that. If you have to ask for it, don’t be surprised if the result isn’t favourable. It might even annoy the other blogger if you persist and ask, “Why not?” This is something which Steph has mentioned before:

The other thing that’s pissing me off is the whole blogroll drama. My blogroll is not static. It changes regularly as I find new blogs or move on from others and I don’t do link exchanges.

I’ve been de-linked and had “regular” commentaters leave, what’s the big deal?

I don’t get it. If you really must email me about this or make a snide comment on your blog about it, go ahead. I hope it makes you feel better.

So if you shouldn’t ask for it, how do you get people to link to you? In my experience, there’s only three good ways to go about it: leaving compelling comments on other blogs, be generous with the link love and writing good content.

Leave Compelling Comments

Lilian, a Malaysian pro-blogger wrote in a post about “how to increase traffic“:

You see, in order for people to like you, you have to show a sincere interest first. Otherwise, no one is going to visit.
We cannot rely on people visiting us. We have to visit them. Unless you are some Hollywood celebrities(sic).

To get other bloggers to notice you, you should leave intelligent and relevant comments on the blogs that you read. By leaving good comments, you are not only inviting the bloggers to visit you, but also their readers. However don’t spam their comments section, and don’t be a sycophant or a creep.

Related to this is to reply to the comments that you get. It makes people feel warm and welcomed and they might just link to you without you even have to ask.

For a good example of how this worked out for me, read Mili describe how she stumbled onto my blog.

Be Generous With Your Link Love

The bloggers who you link to will know about you, either through the automatic trackback system or through vanity searches on Technorati. For me, it gives me a buzz and I will visit everyone who links to me. If I like your stuff, you either go on my blogroll or I would subscribe for further reading.

Don’t link expecting a link back. Be generous about it. It’s a percentage game – some will inevitably link back to you in one way or the other, either on their blogrolls or in the next post that they write. But some won’t, so don’t be bitter about it. Instead, just keep on finding great blogs to read and to link to.

Linking is a great technique if used well, but don’t be like Dave Lucas. I’m not going to link to him because I find him dubious, so go Google his ass. Why do I find him dubious? It’s because he never fails to link to or mention Xiaxue no matter how tenuous the relevance to his post subject is. Why, I do not know. Maybe the guy has yellow-fever. And what does he get for his efforts? Xiaxue has never mentioned him whatsoever. So don’t do it blatantly and without purpose because the subject of your link love will see right through it.

Hook Them In With Great Content

Before we even talk about your content, there are some prerequisites – your spelling, grammar and composition skills must be up to scratch. You gain all that by lots of reading. Blogs, magazines, novels, and even that great billboard ad that held your attention for more than 2 seconds. Notice the way the words are composed, and how the sentences flow. Some great writers are born, but most have to learn it. And luckily for the rest of us plebs, great writing is very easy to find and hence learn from. For example, check out Copyblogger.com.

Two ways to great content:

  1. Write kickass posts. How? If you are naturally funny, this is easy. Otherwise, identify an area of expertise that you can talk about effortlessly and write about it. Come up with an original thought, do your research, quote from someone else’s kickass post (see: giving out link love above), have a cool photo or graphic to go with it, and string it all together into one coherent piece.

    Consistently writing kickass posts is hard and takes a lot of effort. Some do it better than others and almost effortlessly. I’m not one of those writers. So what I do instead is …

  2. Put your personal spin on it. I put a lot of my personality into my stories, and even into the newsy posts or those linking to stuff that I find interesting on the net. As a reader, I like knowing the blogger whom I’m reading. Good writers are those who put a personal spin on mundane stuff that happen to all of us. What makes us different is how we react to the same situations. Though it maybe the same shit on a different day, but if it happened to a different person in a different place it can be interesting. This is why the majority of blogs that I’ve subscribed to are personal blogs – 98 out of 132 feeds.

    So don’t be afraid to “expose” yourself a little. How far you go is entirely up to you. Think of what you are comfortable telling a complete stranger without being afraid of it being repeated elsewhere, and you’ve set yourself the boundaries.

I have been lucky to be linked to by quite a few bloggers, some of whom are quite well known and I would always love to get more. And content, whether on this blog or in the comments that I’d leave on other blogs, is still king. :)