Some wounds don’t heal completely
Remember Wendy? The friend whom I lost through blogging, and whose friendship that I have said I will not revisit? I bumped into her at the Armin van Buuren gig and we managed to exchange pleasantries. She waved at me, and I waved back and said hello. Our small talk extended to who are you here with, and are you having fun.
At the beginning of the night, Simon had said to me, “Just a word of warning, Wendy’s over there.” I replied, “Then I’ll be here.” I made an effort to avoid her but when she initiated the contact I didn’t have it in me to be cold and cruel, and to brush her off.
Having said that though, I doubt that we will ever go back to where we were even though I can now bear to be in the same room with her. It’s like a deep wound which had healed but had also left an obvious scar. It doesn’t bother you anymore, but every time you looked at it, you are reminded of how you got it in the first place.
Which is a shame. Our friendship was very good while it lasted.
16 Responses to “Some wounds don’t heal completely”
Leave a Reply
You might also be interested in these
- Don’t call it a podcast #5 – Blog Advertising & Appreciating Blog Readers
- Live action Mario
- When it’s once in a blue moon, Don’t be such a scrooge
- Clever “don’t drink and drive” ad
- What I don’t want in a woman
Relationships are like glass, you’ll only get hurt trying to put back together what was broken.
forgive and forget. That’s what I’ll say.
fredison: good metaphor.
herman: can forgive, but can’t forget.
I had a similar case. A friend accused me of backstabbing him, just because the girl he like asked me to accompany her to book a ticket back. The friendship is never be the same since. And yea, you can forgive, but can’t forget.
Indra: exactly, just like scars can’t be removed.
To lose a good friendship over someone else is just too sad. It happened to me too. It hurts to know that a friend whom I’ve been through thick and thin with can easily displace our frienship for someone who is not even worth it. Not once, not twice but thrice. I guess I’m forgiving but there’s only that much one can bear.
For her to disregard your friendship so easily, means that it wasn’t worth much to her to begin with.
Her loss.
Lisa: yeah exactly and I must say that your tolerance for bad behaviour is way higher than mine.
steph: it was disappointing that’s for sure. Even though I’d like to think that it’s mostly her loss, it was a waste of a good friendship for it to end that way.
I lost an old, close friend myself a few years back. When she broke up with her boyfriend at the time, he rang me for some emotional support. I felt sorry for the guy and chatted to him as he sounded really, really low. I would’ve felt like a complete bitch saying, ‘find someone else to talk to about this’ as he just seemed to be at rock-bottom. She found out that we had been chatting and accused me of sleeping with him. I couldn’t believe, after all those years of friendship, she thought I would do such a thing. So we stopped being friends.
I found out through someone else recently that she is now engaged with a baby. Im sure we’re at the stage now, where we could be amicable when we saw each other, but we will never be close friends the way we were. All the best of luck to her anyway (and good luck to her fiance, she’s high maintenance!)
I think it’s actually very smart of you to be more cautious about the people who’ve hurt you, because too often people will shurg these things off and allow the same person walk all over them again. That is the worse case scenario because I guess it is easier to want to ‘get along’ with everyone rather than make things akward.
To me, as a sensitive person, I try to forgive, but I also try to not allow myself forget which I have a tendency of doing because it’s ‘easier’. At the end of the day it is their lost. As the saying goes; “Fool me once…” Ya know how it goes…
(woaw…nice. we can edit our comments now, hehe)
i didnt give up our friendship. i am very happy to see you there. you are still the same…
i wanted to say you are still look the same.. seriously, i miss those days..
girlstar7: it is unfortunate that an old friendship could change just like that. It’s definitely worst than mine because I’m sure that you thought that she wouldn’t think of you that way. But as you said, ppl move on though you may not hate her anymore, that old friendship will not return to the way it was.
ricka: yeah, you are definitely more cautious the second time around (if there is a second time). And you can be nice, but not a pushover. Glad you like the comment editing.
wendy: it was nice to see you too. And I do miss those days but it’s difficult to ever go back to how it was.
i am happy that you didnt ignore me. time can cure… i hope.
In all fairness, she is trying to make amends? to patch the gap?
But being an outsider, I wouldn’t understand and would hardly dare to presume.
Just kind of sad to see a great friendship become this way.
Rachel: hence the sentiments expressed in this post.