Pulau Payar, near Langkawi, 2003. One day before my 29th birthday.
Karen has turned 29 this year and posed an open question to her female readers about what’s it like to turn 30. I’m not female but I thought it was a great topic. So here is my response.
That it takes another person’s prompting for me to write about what is supposed to be one of THE big milestones in a person’s life: when they turn 30, is telling of my attitude towards age.
The concept of age is different for women, especially to those who want children. To me it’s really just a number. I had settled into the person that I am now at the age of 25/26 and from then till I was 30 I hadn’t changed much.
My views on life were the same and still are - I cherish the important things such as family and good friends. I enjoy the simple pleasures of eating and drinking, and playing with my dog and relaxing in front of the TV or computer. And as long as my body holds up, I will still remember to party.
Society has certain expectations on both men and women, and a lot of people have a checklist of goals to achieve before they turn 30: see the world, do amazing things, marriage, kids, house, cash and assets rich. Me? I don’t have a list. The only significant event when I was turning 30 was that I had just restarted my IT career, after having run a restaurant for 1.5 years. My impending 30th birthday and what I was supposed to have achieved as a 30 year old man were not priorities.
The day came and went without fanfare. Not many friends know my birthday, not even close ones because I don’t make a big deal about it. And my parents just happened to be away that time. So it was that I woke up the next day not feeling any different. No imaginary milestones have been passed, and my life continued as before.
I’m now turning 33 in December and how have I changed since I was 30? Erm, not much. I still view life as a meandering journey with no set destinations or timetable, and that the only things that matter are the journey itself and the people whose lives that I have touched and vice-versa.
And to answer one of Karen’s questions in her post,
Should 20-somethings just get over it and save the brain cells for something more important?
The answer is yes - don’t live your life to other people’s expectations; live it to yours and at your own schedule.
At Ruvinda’s wedding July 2005 - 30 turning 31.
15 Responses to “When I was turning 30”
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i’m turning 25. ANd sometimes i feel i’ve the quarter life crisis.
i’m sure its not your birthday yet…..
As for planning your life out, it never ever ends up according to plan anyway;the more you plan the worse it will end up!
herman: dude, 25 is nothing. don’t waste your time worrying.
sourrain: nope it’s not. yeah the more you plan, the more life just passes you by.
I’m turning 27. Hahaha
i worried before i turned 30. however, i felt no difference after i turned 30. i m waiting to turn 40 and will accept the number gracefully!
Lupin: If you feel the same, then you haven’t aged. And that’s a good thing.
charsiew: nothing but a number as I’ve said. Do animals care how old they are? They don’t - they just live.
Actually bro, you look my age lor.
GOod post. I think some people worry so much about getting older, and what they should have achieved that they forget to just relax and have fun. I know people who stressed out about turning 20; imagine what they’ll be like when they hit 30 or 40!
Life’s what happens when you’re busy making other plans. YOu can plan your life out in complete detail, but soemthing unexpected will always happen which might completely throw a spanner in the works.
Lupin: what your age?! I can pass as a uni student man!
girlstar7: that’s right - I think it’s illogical for people to get depressed or anxious when they are normally happy, just because they don’t conform to someone else’s criterion about turning a certain age.
You look great without those glasses. But really, never let age be a barrier. I’m way past that milestone but life’s still great!
blur ting: haha thanks! That’s right - age shouldn’t be a limitation if your mind and body is up to it.
I can’t seem to remember if I am 29 or 30. I start to have this symptom forgetting my real age .
ha ha! I don’t bother to calculate anyway. Things happen at the right time, maybe not at the time we plan but “someone” do fix that lifetime periodical stuff.
WJ: hahah I get that problem too sometimes - I have to count backwards to figure out my age.
My favourite catchphrase : Growing older is mandatory, Growing up is optional. you’re right.age is just a number. i had the same answer everytime when someone ask how you make yourself look young at all time? yeah… don’t remember your age !
yt: I love that phrase! Yes, it’s definitely a state of mind and you have a choice on it.