There are three major ways that a guy can be played for a fool. In verbal and in physical ways, and in written forms such as email and text-messaging.
The written form is the one that causes the biggest prat fall. With the written word, a guy has to extract the meaning out of them without the benefit of body language or tone of voice. Being very vague and full of double-meaning, it provides ample wiggle room for the woman, especially when she’s not overtly flirtatious with you in person. At least with physical methods, a guy can be excused for misunderstanding a woman’s intentions if she’s touching or rubbing up against him.
How to deal with it: learn to take everything literally, or with a grain of salt. That is, don’t read too much into it.
What appear to be innocuous words can carry a lot of meaning when the guy has feelings for the girl. What would make it a mind fuck would be when the girl knows that and says them anyway. That is when these kinds of conversations happen:
No, I didn’t mean that.
No, you misunderstood.
I didn’t know you’d take it that way.
You thought I was serious?!
Classic phrases used are various forms of subtle requests:
- Call me.
- Let’s catch up some time.
- We should hang out more often.
Or compliments that make you think that she likes you:
- Oh, you are so sweet.
- You are so nice to me. Why are you single?
- Why can’t every guy be like you?
You know you are being played when you stick your neck out and try to take it further with her, and she rebuffs you.
How to deal with it: just like with the written mind-fuck, don’t read too much into it. Talk is cheap unless coupled with action.
The physical form is the hardest to deal with. Especially if it’s combined with the other two. It’s hard to think straight when she’s touching you, or letting you touch her.
How to deal with it: unless you are desperately aching to be laid, there’s a crude mental exercise to use. Think of the sex that you can *maybe one day* get from her in dollar terms, and then think to yourself is it worth it? Or are you better off getting it from a prostitute? Because that way, you are spared the head games and emotional turmoil.
That in a nutshell, is my approach to the mind-fuck. I think this is one very good reason why people should date extensively so that they would know when they are being played. Even then, there are some guys who never quite gain a healthy sense of cynicism. Some may think cynicism is no good but to me, being an idealist is worse. It just means the person is naive. Woe to those who ends up marrying the person who mind-fucks them, and suffers the head games for as long as the marriage lasts.
Who knows why these girls say and do the things that they do? Perhaps, they like the attention and knowing that they can still pull a guy. Maybe they like using other people to boost their self-esteem issues. Either way, it’s not worth the time and effort trying to understand their motives.
Better to find a well-adjusted woman who don’t play games. You don’t want to be a toy for a dysfunctional woman, right?