Tomorrow’s my last day at my present job. Over the years, there’s been some memorable moments.
I had two junior personnel working under me. One day our team got chastised for something which I felt strongly about. A difficult customer had decided to go over us and complained directly to our boss who then decided to write a terse email to all of us, mostly in caps as well.
When I walked into work that morning, the two juniors told me about the email. I took one look at it and walked straight into the boss’s office. Being fresh out of uni, my juniors didn’t have the confidence and assertiveness that come with experience. I had to stand up for my team because I’m the only one in the position to do so.
“We get customers thanking the team for our service. Sometimes you knew about it, but most times you don’t because we don’t run into your office to tell you about it like excitable kids. But the one time you hear a complaint, you presume to think that we are not doing our jobs. And that email in caps? That was rude.”
Yeah it was quite tense in the office for the rest of the day.
The support staff not only look after the company’s customers, but we also administer the office’s network. One time, management had me do something that I didn’t feel too good about. An employee was conducting personal business during business hours, and was obviously a prime candidate to be fired. But somehow, the company handled it in a passive-aggressive way. Though the company no longer considered him to be a valuable long-term employee, his work was still of high quality. So they thought of making it unpleasant enough that he’d leave.
So what they had me do whilst he was away on leave, was to swap his high-spec PC for an older one. Needless to say, he wasn’t a happy chappie when he came back from his holidays. And it worked – he left 4 weeks later.
I told management that I wasn’t happy being caught in the middle like that. I believe the incident tainted my opinion of the people running the company and also about working there. I don’t think anyone likes office politics, especially when it concerns how management deals with staff.
There’s always a slight tension between the sales and the support staff in an IT company. Sales will keep on signing on customers, sometimes at a frenetic pace, because that how’s they get their commission, while the support staff would prefer a manageable growth in the customer base. The sales department can always justify an increase in headcount doe to the fact that their value to the company, ie. the revenue that they bring in, is highly visible. Not so for the support staff because our function is less quantifiable, and most times we are viewed as a cost centre.
And sometimes, the support staff get the brunt of a customer’s frustrations when the product turned out less than promised for them. So, one day I decided to write a diplomatic email to the head of sales saying that there was a danger in overselling the company’s product. The person took it personally and tried to shoot me down using his supposedly extensive experience in the industry.
The support function is mostly under appreciated and management is seldom on our side. But this time, they were. The head of sales was fired two months later for not being a team-player. I have to admit that I felt smug that day.
A guy by the name of Shamus Young did a series of screen-cap comics called “DM of the Rings” (DM = dungeon master), where he re-imagined “The Lord of The Rings” movies as a tabletop role-playing game being played out. If you’ve ever dabbled in that, or WoW/Diablo and its ilk, or read fantasy novels, you’d get a kick out of them.
However, you don’t need to know any of that to enjoy the following strip, one out of the many that he did. Here, he makes fun of the indecisiveness of some women, which is eerily realistic. Note that I said “some”, and not all. I still love youse all, well most of you anyway. Please don’t hate me.
I did a double-degree in Commerce and Engineering in university. From my accounting units, one concept that has stuck with me in all aspects of life is called “sunk costs“. In layman’s terms, sunk costs are incurred costs or investments that cannot be recovered in a meaningful way. Good economics stresses that those costs should not be taken into consideration about whether an ongoing concern should be scrapped or continued.
The ongoing concern should be judged solely on its own merits that are valid currently, and not what has happened in the past no matter good or bad. I feel that this is particularly apt when it comes to personal relationships, especially failed or dysfunctional ones.
A lot of people hold on to relationships that are past their use-by dates because they think that just because it’s been a long relationship, that it would be a big waste to let it go considering the time and effort that they have put into it. And not to mention the good times that were had.
But you have to ask yourself: is the relationship making you happy now? Can you change it enough to make you happy again? Would the effort be worth the happiness that comes from it being revived? If you’ve given it one more big push, or maybe even two and you are still getting nowhere, then I think it’s time to simply let go.
A long time friend had called me in mild distress. Two of our mutual friends have drifted apart from her and she doesn’t know why. She and I both know that she’s a kind-hearted person, who is not prone to emotional flakiness – a good, stable and reliable friend. So it frustrates her to see two of her long time friends suddenly not consider her to be such a worthy friend to spend time with anymore.
She’s tried hinting for an answer, and she’s tried initiating contact but it’s been close to a year and she still doesn’t know why. So I asked her would it make her happy if and when she finds out. She said no and that it would depress her. So I said, “Then why do you wanna know?” “Because!” was her answer.
So I tried to give her a little talk about “sunk costs”. Adding to that, I also said these two things:
Not everyone likes you in life.
Even those that like you now, are not guaranteed to like you forever. People change and you can’t stop that.
Life is too short to worry about people who don’t like you, or who grew to not like you. It’s better to focus on those who feel the opposite and who make you happy now. There are times to grow and maintain a relationship, times to cut it loose, and times to just let it drift away.
Building on what I had written about “What I don’t want in a woman“, here are behaviours that I would find annoying in a girlfriend.
Being quiet or antisocial around my friends – having to constantly check on whether you were having fun, feeling bored, or wanted to leave early would be a big drag.
Trying to change me – changing minor habits like being tidier, dressing up a little better etc. are perfectly acceptable. But trying to change the core of my personality isn’t.
Related to the above would be buying and doing things for me that reflect what you want me to become, and doing it in a patronising way by saying that it’s for my own good and would make me a better person.
You are allowed your priorities in life, but I’m not – when your free time is yours, and so is mine, it builds up resentment and frustration. “If you care about me, you shouldn’t care about anything else” will never happen because I had a life before we met and things don’t just fall off the plate for me like that.
Constantly comparing me to your friends’ boyfriends/husbands – I’m not like them so there’s no point comparing because although I may be able to modify certain behaviour for the better, I’m not remoulding myself into someone else. See #2.
Double standards – even though I wouldn’t be like that, you will not accept it when the above situations are reversed and that just shits me.
On Monday, I received an email from a person working for the Malaysian branch of a well-known advertising agency. She had asked to purchase the rights to use a photo of mine that she had stumbled upon on Flickr. The fact that she knew how to use Flickr made me thought that she was clued in on how business on the Internet works. I was wrong.
Here’s the email exchange on Monday. The first hint of trouble was when she asked me to define the usual conditions that go with selling images. Don’t they buy images all the time at an ad agency? Well, never mind I thought. Maybe she’s new on the job and wanted to make sure.
Hi there,
I’m [redacted], on behalf of ABCD (Advertising Agency), would like to ask for your permission to use the attached picture.
Usage is for our client advertisement in BTL items outdoor.
Kindly quote us for the picture and revert to me back by today!!
Thank you.
—
Hi [redacted].
The price I charge is USD80 for a royalty-free copy of the 640×480 version available off Flickr (largest resolution I have), which is non-exclusive and with non-transferable rights.
If this is ok to you, I will send an invoice via Paypal (let me know the email address that I should send it to).
Cheers!
—
Hi there,
Can you please advise us more specific on non-exclusive and with non-transferable rights.
Thanks.
—
Hi [redacted].
Non-exclusive = I can sell it again for similar purposes.
Non-transferable = It’s only for you and your company’s use as you see fit without restrictions, but you cannot on-sell the image on its own.
And royalty-free = you can use it as often as you like, for different projects.
Hope that answers your questions!
Then on Wednesday.
Hi there,
Cost approved AT USD80 for a royalty-free copy of the 640×480, please proceed our order.
Thank you.
—
Hi [redacted].
Will do – sending you an invoice via PayPal to your email address now. Your company can then pay via credit card at PayPal.
Thanks!
Note how many times I’d mentioned the use of Paypal to pay me and how they’d be invoiced. On the same day was when things got all Twilight Zone-y. Further signs of trouble was when she asked how long it would take for her to obtain the image. This when she’s already been to the page where she can download it from. Then there’s the questions about invoices.
Hi there,
I need to know once we paid through credit card how long will it take to get the image. Where is your company located??
Thank you.
—
Hi [redacted].
You just download the image at the link provided earlier. If you’ve lost it, here it is again:
—
Hi there,
Kindly provide us your details (name, contact no.)
Is it possible for us to make payment through bank transfer under your name/company name because we are buying the image on behalf of client? This is not for personal matter. Please provide us also what are terms and regulation.
—
Hi [redacted].
I do not run a company as my photos are sold on an adhoc basis. Furthermore, I’m in Australia so a payment to Paypal is the easiest way. If that is not possible, then I wish you best of luck in your search for an alternative photo.
Cheers!
—
Hi there,
One more thing after we paid to you is there any invoice for us.
Thank you.
—
The receipt will come from Paypal showing that you have paid to me, and what it was for – you can print this out for your records. I will not be issuing an invoice to you.
So after all that, you would assume that all questions about how to obtain the photo, and how payment should be made and transacted are answered right? Well, you’d be wrong.
On Thursday, I received another clueless email from her. That was when I had enough. She kept asking me about damn invoices and alternatives way of paying me! It was like she didn’t even read anything that I wrote to her in the past few exchanges! FFS!
Hi there,
Need to check with you is there any invoice before we make payment. One more thing I need to know do we need to register the Paypal because our company don’t have account with paypal. Can we straight away paid you via credit card without register Paypal.
—
Hi [redacted].
I think this is probably getting too difficult for you guys. I have already explained everything previously.
I will withdraw the payment request. Best of luck in your search for a suitable photo.
Cheers!
You’d think that someone working for a prominent ad agency would understand how to do business on the Internet. Buying a photo from me is no different to buying a photo off a professional outfit like Getty Images. Everything is done electronically, you pay with a credit card, and you’d get an email receipt to print out for your records.
At first I hesitated about publishing this for fear of ruining future opportunities of selling my photos. Burning bridges and all that. But what the heck, this is just a hobby. I still have my day job.
Because it really has to be said: clueless people really have no business doing business on the Internet.
Let me rephrase that: clueless people who do not read have no business doing business on the Internet.
It seems to me that in the celeb world, there are two standard cliches. You either have “irreconcilable differences” or the break up was “mutual and we remain good friends”. So it’s either you had a really bad relationship breakdown, or the best outcome from a breakup ever. There’s no in between.
The nicer outcome seems to indicate that there is a possibility that breakups can be a pleasant experience, as opposed to the depression, anxiety, and anger that can accompany the act of two people no longer wanting to be together. Note that I’m not talking about what happens after the breakup – given time, people can reconcile and most remain civil to one another. I’m specifically talking about the act of breaking up. Even if you are a warm hearted and forgiving person, you have to admit that breaking up is not the nicest thing to go through.
The other thing that I don’t see happening much in the real world is people remaining, or becoming really good friends after a breakup. Civil yes, but “friendship has never been stronger”?
I will allow “friends”, but “good friends” is a bit too much. The situation in Seinfeld with Jerry and Elaine is not the norm. If two people started out as good friends before becoming lovers, then maybe they can remain friendly after. But even then, not as “good friends” – I don’t believe that two people will automatically fall back down to the level they were at before the relationship went from platonic to amorous.
