Annoying girlfriend behaviour


February 24, 2008 10:30 PM

Cut the crap
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Building on what I had written about “What I don’t want in a woman“, here are behaviours that I would find annoying in a girlfriend.

  1. Being quiet or antisocial around my friends – having to constantly check on whether you were having fun, feeling bored, or wanted to leave early would be a big drag.
  2. Trying to change me – changing minor habits like being tidier, dressing up a little better etc. are perfectly acceptable. But trying to change the core of my personality isn’t.
  3. Related to the above would be buying and doing things for me that reflect what you want me to become, and doing it in a patronising way by saying that it’s for my own good and would make me a better person.
  4. You are allowed your priorities in life, but I’m not – when your free time is yours, and so is mine, it builds up resentment and frustration. “If you care about me, you shouldn’t care about anything else” will never happen because I had a life before we met and things don’t just fall off the plate for me like that.
  5. Constantly comparing me to your friends’ boyfriends/husbands – I’m not like them so there’s no point comparing because although I may be able to modify certain behaviour for the better, I’m not remoulding myself into someone else. See #2.
  6. Double standards – even though I wouldn’t be like that, you will not accept it when the above situations are reversed and that just shits me.

19 thoughts on “Annoying girlfriend behaviour

  1. LupinTan

    On Point 1: Ya, It’s abit draggy, either that or if I know that she can’t mix with my friends. I would rather have a friends only meeting. She can use her time more meaningful

    On Point 2&3: Hey, A leopard can’t change it’s skin. You should love the person for who he/she is. It’s quite hard and fustrating to change him/her. Point to take note though, is how “truthful” of your representation to the other party from the start.

    On Point 4: This kinda of relationship sucks totally.Comon, you are not a princess, and if you are, I’m not your butler.

    On Point 5: Please, if your ex-bf/husband/whatever is so great, why are you still with me

    On Point 6: Look, You Jump I Jump, so whatever F you are entitled to do, I am too.

    Reply
  2. herman

    point number 2 is really annoying. my friend just broken up with her bf, because she wants him to change and the guy refuses. I guess maybe she has an idea of an ideal man, so she tries to change the bf to conform to her ideal.

    girl hooks up with bad boy, hopes the bad boy will change.

    if succeded,
    girl claims she tamed the bad boy.

    if not,
    girls claims all man are bastards.

    sounds familiar ?

    Reply
  3. mooiness Post author

    Lupin: agreed on all counts – good to know!

    steph: yeah it’s not too much to ask right?

    monkeycrab: true true, if your potential boyfriend do those things – run and don’t look back!

    herman: suckers for punishment they are.

    Reply
  4. girlstar7

    A friend of mine recently broke up with her boyfriend. While they were dating he would barely speak to me or give me the time of day. I never liked him much and I thought that he hated me. I bumped into him in a club and he was quite friendly towards me. I asked him why the change of behaviour, and why he was always so cold towards me. He told me that my friend had asked him NOT to speak to me or another girlfriend AT ALL. COnsidering we were living together for much of the time they were dating, this made things quite difficult!
    Another trait you don’t want in a girfriend: one who is not only jealous but doesn’t even trust her own friends enough to SPEAK to her boyfriend. I thought this was quite unreasonable.
    Good list, I think these are all reasonable. Some people behave very strangely in relationships, and you want to avoid these people at all costs! 🙂

    Reply
  5. mae

    Why date the guy if he isn’t someone you can accept in the first place? Girls are so silly sometimes. I’m so afraid I won’t realize and make dumb mistakes like that. Hell no!

    Reply
  6. Yuuka

    Hey Mooi, I`ll give you a tip I gave all my brothers. If your girlfriend ever tells you to carry her handbag and she`s not headed for the toilet or needing her hands free for an immediate task, run for your life and don`t look back!

    Reply
  7. rn

    I realise that a lot of people will say “but I don’t do that!”… so before I say “I’m glad I’m not like that” I better really check HAHAHA

    I like to see him around his friends, because it makes him happy. It have always been my opinion that people behave differently around different people and that applies especially when they are with their buddies/brothers.

    Why do you wanna change him?!?!?! I mean, isn’t the person that you are dating the person that you fell in love with? Then again, that’s also why I like being totally honest *burp* so there’s no “she/he wasn’t like that when I got to know her”, that’s why I don’t believe in “masks”

    I am guilty of number 3 to a certain extent. I bought him skincare that I wouldn’t use myself because I was too lazy. I do like the way he looks, just that… oh I don’t know. He does say his face is less oily now. HAHA

    I hate double standards and upping priorities, but I believe that we are all subconsciously prone to doing it. So once I realise that, I try to fight it inside. Easier said than done, I admit!

    Comparison for sake for curiosity is fun only when it’s done harmlessly and mutually. I guess it’s more of a kaypoh thing than comparison. I’m no princess either, and I surely don’t want a prince if it ain’t him.

    I agree with monkeycrab! The list is “what not to look in a partner” fantastic. Or, “are you a lousy partner”. Sadly, I can identify a few points with a friend’s partner. Asshole.

    Some other points to consider:
    1) I was like that when you dated me, so don’t change me (when you point out things like priority to the relationship before some things – a friend’s partner said that “sorry we can’t celebrate V Day because I’m working thursday and friday’s definitely cannot” when all he was doing was his regular friday clubbing.
    2) girls can do it, guys can’t (or vice versa)
    3) total lack of commitment when it comes to working the relationship

    my 2 sen!

    Reply
  8. rn

    btw I agree with mae… again it applies to guys too! A friend of mine got attached with a girl he met in a club… and promptly banned her from clubbing (I don’t like girls going clubbing).

    super =_=””

    Reply
  9. mooiness Post author

    nadnut: you knew he was a gamer going in right? then trying to ask him to play less may be a little bit tricky. But it’s a two-way street – he wanted a girlfriend as well, so he should reduce his gaming and meet you halfway.

    rn: your last example – meeting the girl in a club and then not letting her club. WTF?! Now that’s an asshole. As for not being able to celebrate V-day because he’s clubbing? That’s fucked up too – unless of course, he makes it up by celebrating it on another day if she REALLY wants V-day celebrations.

    So you know, I’m a reasonable person – I don’t necessarily side with guys all the time. 😉

    Reply
  10. rn

    I’ve always known you to be reasonable. =)
    Ya it baffles me. It’s also very representative of nearly 65% of guys I know that pick up their partners in clubs. Really.
    And I also know of guys who say sleeping around is ok (for them) if there’s no “emotional betrayal” (bullshit I tell you) and it’s not ok for girls because it’s just not right for girls…

    Reply
  11. Katie

    I don’t do any of those things … hopefully! 😛

    Actually, as a girlfriend I think I’m pretty low-maintenance. Although, I guess we’d have to ask Phill for his opinion – I may be living in a La-La Land haha.

    Reply
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