When I first arrived from Malaysia and went to high school here, there were two distinct classes of Asian kids. There was the “fresh off the boats” that me and my immediate clique of Malaysian, Singaporean, Filipino and Indonesian friends were in. And then there were the ABCs – Australian-born Chinese (and other Asians) and those who had been living in Australia since kindergarten or primary school at least.
You can easily tell us apart from the way we interacted with the Anglos. The FOBs tend to hang around each other, and those Anglos whom we usually get along with were the geekier types – we were kindred spirits in some ways. The ABCs were more confident and inter-mingled quite easily. Some were considered more cool than others, but in general they were more in tune with general Aussie humour and how things work.
In the ABC bunch, I remembered a kid whom I had a mancrush on way before the term “mancrush” was even invented. He was quite good looking, was in the school basketball team, popular with “the sportos, the motorheads, geeks, sluts, bloods, waistoids, dweebies, dickheads” (kinda like an Asian Ferris Bueller), and had alternated between hot Aussie girlfriends and hot Asian girlfriends. The guy was basically what every FOB, and even some ABCs wanted to be.
His hair was always immaculately coiffed in that venerable late 80s, early 90s look (so cool!). We all wore the same uniform but he always made it look good. And my day would inevitably become a good day if he talked and had acknowledged me in school. Well, either him or the myriad of girls on whom I had crushes on.
Anyways, as I got more self-confident and comfortable in my surroundings my mancrush for him lessened. I remember seeing him a few times during my time in uni. In a bigger sea of popular kids, he was just average now. And sometimes he looked it too.
The reason for this post was because I suddenly thought of him as I was drifting off to sleep last night (what the?!?!). I searched on Facebook, and I googled but I couldn’t find him anywhere. I wonder what he’s doing, and how he looks like now. I swear I’m gonna be thinking about him for the rest of the day. But yeah, I’m telling you this in secret. So don’t go telling anyone else alright?
Something light-hearted to lead into the weekend. Here we have Bruce Jingles riffing on one of my favourite drinks – Jagermeister, and the near ubiquitous Jager-Bomb. If you haven’t had or heard of one, then get acquainted with it. But be sensible with it – the Red Bull makes you think you are sober when you ain’t.
Over the years I believe I’ve talked about the problems of the Muslim world in a fairly balanced way. I thought that the whole Danish cartoon thing was unnecessarily provocative, but at the same time I grasp the big irony which happened when Pope Benedict XVI quoted a piece of ancient text which said that some parts of the Quran were violent (just like it is in the Bible) and violent hardline Muslims reacted, well violently. Like I said, ironic.
To add to the above, I’d like to share with you what happened on the train today. A handicapped woman in a wheelchair and her seeing-eye dog got onto the same train carriage as I did. As we got in, two Muslim women about 10 seats away stood up abruptly and moved to the other end of the carriage.
I only noticed them because their actions were so exaggerated. I wasn’t the only one who noticed, because several people also looked. They probably just thought that the women’s behaviour was a bit odd. But because I know that dogs are considered unclean to Muslims, I understood their behaviour right away.
What ticked me off immediately was the hypocrisy of the situation. Tolerance and understanding cannot only flow one way – it needs to be reciprocal. Would I have perceive the situation differently if it was two people who moved because they just might be allergic to dogs? Probably. But because they were so obviously Muslim, there was no other way for me to perceive it.
I’m not saying that they should have just stayed where they were either (even though they were 10 seats away from the dog). But what would have been preferable was that they didn’t make such a dramatic move. They could have discreetly slided down a couple of seats and none would be the wiser. I’d still know they moved because of the dog but I wouldn’t have reacted the way I did.
This incident goes a bit to explain why Islamophobia and anti-Muslim sentiments persist. Because Muslims here are such a visible minority, they have to understand that small incidents like this shape how the greater community views them. They must also know that they have chosen to come live in a predominantly Judeo-Christian and liberal Western society. Instead of the rest of us bending ourselves around them, it is them who should be bending around the rest of us.
I am not ashamed to admit to being easily contented. I don’t need a lot to feel happy. However occasionally I have to explain this to people who deem that my life is somehow lacking.
In danger of repeating myself to death, I’ll say this again. I’ve got a job. I’ve got good friends and family around me. I’ve got a roof over my head, even though it isn’t my own roof. I got enough money to spend on myself and on people whom I care about, and I’ve got enough to eat. Like the rest of my family, I’m debt free. I’m even managing to save at least 20% of my disposable income each month. I can afford a nice holiday once a year and occasionally even splurge on nice clothes and toys.
So I feel that I already have enough. Plus I’m putting enough aside for my future. More money would be good. More would be a bonus but I don’t need it. To some people the accumulation of wealth is a worthy pursuit. But I’m not like that. I’m not ambitious enough to see the point to it.
Plus due to pure luck, I am not like others who were born into the right family or circumstance, so to get more money means I would have to work extra hard for it. And if you ask me to choose between having lots of money but no time to spend it or less money with a better quality of life, my answer is obvious.
I don’t feel the need to move myself out of my comfort zone when I don’t see anything wrong with it. Which isn’t to say that I don’t admire people who build up great wealth from a humble background, because I do. I guess I’m just wired differently, and what makes you happy in life does not necessarily apply to me.
How do you get to work not just on time, but early? Here’s how:
Eat your breakfast at work.
Do your #2 at work. Yeah that.
That is all.
Technique #1 requires extra expenditure and may cost ALOT in the long run. Try eating healthy and substantial for less than $5 – it is very hard. I don’t earn six figures ok!
Technique #2 requires you to have a thick skin about your bodily functions. You know, because of the sploshy and farty noises that you will make. Noises which your colleagues will be able to hear. And oh yeah, they’d be able to smell you too when you sit back down at your desk because of the inevitably poor ventilation of said toilets.
I can do #1 maybe, but #2? Definitely not. I don’t have a thick skin about it. I get anal fright in public toilets.
We know that change is constant. Yet, a lot of the stress in our lives is caused by our fear and anxiety about the unknown future. But no matter how much we plan, a certain amount of our lives have to be left up to fate and chance. There are a few cliched sayings about dealing with change and unexpected happenings:
Look on the bright side of life.
The light at the end of the tunnel.
Every cloud has a silver lining.
If life deals you lemons, make lemonade.
Then there’s the famous “Serenity Prayer” by Reinhold Niebuhr, which is profound even if you are not religious:
God, Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.
Over the years I have always kept things in perspective. That and the above prayer is how I approach everything in my life. And as cliched as the sayings listed at the top are, if you frame your mind to be positive instead of negative you’d tend to see that life isn’t really as bad as you think. For example, all of you who are reading this now on the Internet, ask yourself this: is your life that bad when you *have* Internet?
I enjoy life to the fullest while always knowing in the back of my mind that it can all so easily go away. And when I hit a kink in my plans, big or small I don’t mope and bitch about how unfair it is – I deal with it so that I can move on. Thinking positive all the time is not easy and it takes effort. But it pays off in the end. Because as Voltaire says,
Life is thickly sown with thorns, and I know no other remedy than to pass quickly through them. The longer we dwell on our misfortunes, the greater is their power to harm us.
And I shall end with a quote from “Ziggy“, a comic that I have never read before until I was searching for think-positive quotes for this post:
You can complain because roses have thorns, or you can rejoice because thorns have roses.
* This post has been brought to you by me being sick again, and feeling sorry for myself the past two days.
My friend Blinkymummy returned to Singapore at the start of the week. Trying to catch up on my sleep ever since. Failed. Lacklustre blogging ensued.
A colleague was stressed out by a problem customer. Everyone walked on egg shells the rest of the day. There are times when one should speak up at work, and there are times to just shut up when one does not know the full story. This was one of those times.
Still can’t get over the multitude of hotness that is inner city office women. Going “woah” many many times over in my head when on the bus, on the train, and when walking around and out buying lunch. Highly distracting. Good thing that my office consists of mostly males. Or is it?
Walking halfway across town on a boozy night to meet up with friends at another club even though I was quite content where I was, just because I said I would. The shoes I had on weren’t made for walking. Also lost a $50 note in the process. Was worth it in the end. Seeing friendly faces that are happy to see you is priceless.
Discovered VegasMode at Capitol – electro house with a smattering of trance. Orgasmatron.
