Antonio Martinez @ flickr

Cosmic coincidence? One told me to remove photos of her because she thought she looks fat in them. One is contemplating liposuction. And two more, although not in as dramatic situations as the previous two, still compelled me to say to them,

You’re not fat!

Although there are men in dysfunctional relationships who cause women to have a distorted view of their bodies – fat where there isn’t and ugly when they aren’t, there are a larger number of men out there who love their women just the way they are.

But the women don’t listen to their men. “Honey, you look fine” don’t make them feel good about themselves as much as a critical look from another woman makes them feel bad about ordering dessert. And I guess this is the crutch of it: women are their own worse enemies.

Men have learnt long ago that to compare our women to other women is asking for hell hath no fury. And yet women do it to themselves all the time. Pay attention the next time an attractive women walks into the room, and watch how all the other women look at her. It’s almost instinct, this desire to either be critical or to compare.

Here’s a secret. Men don’t like thin woman. Men like curves and flesh. Men dig women with appetite because it alludes to their appetite elsewhere. Men don’t like being reminded of their grandmothers when they touch your malnourished skin on your bony arms. Men like holding on to you without fearing they might break you.

Love handles? Hey, they are called “handles” for a reason. Baby got back? Slap! Boobs? Bewbs? Don’t have to ask me twice! Tits, hips and ass are what defines a woman’s shape. We don’t want skinny, we want fleshy. And we definitely do not want to feel like we are doing it to a boy.

Being skinny is not the only way for you to be beautiful. So unless you are obese, please stop counting the calories and come have a thick slice of cheese cake with me. I’ll even get one that’s low fat. Just as long as you eat. Eating makes you happy. Honest. And then we’d even have the energy to party the night away and after.

Previously I’ve delved into the philosophical reasons why I’m happy most of the time. Out of curiousity, I decided to check into the biochemistry of it. Besides the obvious artificial sources in the forms of drugs, other sources lie in the food which we eat.

My breakfast for the longest time that I can remember consists of the following (mineral and chemical nutritional info in parentheses):

• 1 banana (vitamins B6/C, potassium, seratonin)
• Peanut butter (magnesium, tryptophan) on wholemeal toast (magnesium)
• Milo in the form of milk (multi-vitamins, calcium, potassium, magnesium, tryptophan) and chocolate (tryptophan), along with the other additives that come with Milo

References:

• Serotonin – Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
• Tryptophan – Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

The items in bold are what we are interested here. Seratonin is a neurotransmitter important for mood regulation, as well as sleep and appetite. Tryptophan is a biochemical precursor for our bodies to produce more seratonin. And with this information, I finally understand why I’ve subconsciously stuck to this breakfast for so long.

Seratonin ingested through diet is usually good for temporary mood regulation, but that which is created by the body can be stored for later use. It is this that help us maintain a consistent state of mind. Therefore eating foods rich in tryptophan is a good idea. Some other dietary sources include:

• poultry
• cheese
• beef, pork, lamb
• eggs
• sunflower and sesame seeds (although you have to eat a lot more of these than the others on the list)

Even if you never realised any of the above, like I did before I did this research, it is clear that eating a healthy and balanced diet is not just good for you physically but it is also good for your mental health. Is it any wonder that people who go on fad diets are usually a moody lot?

People look at me and think I’m young. People are surprised that a “boy” seems so mature and worldly. In past jobs, people assumed that I’m the subordinate and not the supervisor or manager.

I buy cloths from the children’s section of any store – according to the standard sizes, I have the body of a 14 year old boy. “Small” in adult sizes is just small enough for me. Though, even then sometimes the shirts and pants are too long for my body. If I really must have a design that’s only available in adult sizes, I have no choice but to pay more to have it altered.

But there are good aspects to all of this though. I can hang with a younger crowd without looking like a toolie or a sugar-daddy. And because of that, my frequencies are tuned to a younger mind-set. I can converse and relate even though I might be older by 10 years or more.

My body is not just the size of a boy’s but it also feels like that of a boy’s. I never felt so fit in my life. I have to say that my 30s are even better than my 20s because of this constant feeling of youthfulness – which I don’t take for granted like I did in my 20s.

Some people in their 30s pine and wish for the good old days of their 20s. Not me though. I’m having the best time of my life. And if my body is really that of a 14 year old boy’s, then theoretically I have another 20 years left in me?! A 50 year old clubber? How age appropriate is that? Is that too old to party?

I don’t know but if I’m still blogging then, I’m sure you will enjoy my journey as I get there. Don’t be surprise if I get sleepy now and again though. Hey, I may be optimistic but I’m realistic too!

malias @ flickr

Before guys knew how to read women, we really really didn’t know how to read women. With the lack of experience and knowledge, every little thing that a girl does can be interpreted favourably.

In other words, we read too much into it. Check it:

• She calls or messages you.
• She asks you to go shopping or have coffee with her. If you are lucky, maybe even lunch or dinner.
• She asks you to help her in something.
• She talks to you and is genuinely interested in what you have to say.

Wait, wouldn’t a good female friend do all that anyway? Ok so we should look at the physical signs and body language instead:

• She twirls her hair when she talks to you.
• She crosses her knees in your direction.
• She leans in towards you when you are talking.
• She touches her body during your conversation.
• She touches your body during your conversation.
• She’s smiling a lot.

Ah yes, she’s flirting. There can’t be any doubt to that right? Erm well, some girls like flirting without actually following through. Yes it’s confusing. And it’s embarrassing when you stick your neck out and realise, “Oh haha, you didn’t really mean that?! Neither did I!” *turns around and cry*

So how do you know if there’s something more? When there’s doubt, it’s kinda hard to tell. That is why some guys are kinda thick when it comes to reading signals from women who are interested in them. They’ve taught themselves to not read too much into it to protect themselves.

So yeah ladies, sometimes you really have to spell it out for us.

My friend Kayo pointed me to this video (4:40) of a performance by a Japanese dance-duo called “Hamutsun Serve”. Pretty awesome stuff. At one point, one of the guys moonwalks with his knees. HIS KNEES!

So one thing leads to another, and I ended up trawling Youtube for 2 hours looking at these amazing Japanese dancers. This next one (2:55) is of a girl called Kazumi. Her popping is not as tight as Hamutsun Serve’s but her routine is entertaining. And man is she flexible!

And with this last video (3:15), I challenge you to not smile at it. The song is so catchy! This 12-year old girl goes by the moniker of “Strong Machine 2″ who is part of a group called “Polysics”. And she also dances with her father who goes by the nickname of “Strong Machine”, natch.

Makes you want to get up and dance, doesn’t it?

I had a fantastic time partying this weekend. And I think I’ve now become an honourary gal pal to a bunch of good female friends because on both nights that I went out, I was in the company of these lovely women.

My mom said to me,

What girl would want to become your girlfriend, knowing that you are always surrounded by other girls?

She may have a point. Though at this stage I’m having too much fun to care about finding a girlfriend.

Pic from Hot Chicks with Douchebags, and I’m not a douchebag ok? At least I haven’t been called one yet. Heh.

As some of you might know, I have a little anger management issue. You may remember such episodes as:

• Losing my temper in a nightclub
• Losing it over a McMuffin

Anyways, so the 4-year old family computer that I hand-built started to act up over the past few days. It gets slow, freezes and is generally a pain to use. I decided to do some housekeeping by uninstalling crap and deleting files. In the process though, I accidentally deleted a series of recipes that my mom has been writing for us to keep in posterity.

It shows how important the recipes were to me that I immediately tensed up. At first I was angry at myself for being careless, then I was angry at the computer for making me delete stuff which I wouldn’t normally do. Yeah I was getting pissed off by an inanimate object which up till now has brought joy and entertainment to my folks and my brother.

My fists clenched up and thoughts of smashing parts of the computer to pieces ran through my head quickly. I managed to control the physical urge but I couldn’t control my mouth as I let out a long and loud stream of expletives in two languages.

Mom came running into the room and said, “What’s wrong?” I explained what happened and she being the better Buddhist that I’m constantly trying to be, said that it’s only 5 recipes so far – she can rewrite them.

Fenchurch! @ flickr
Still fuming at me, myself and everything, I immediately went to Dell’s site and ordered a new computer. $1078 later, I began to feel better. Now I understand why some women shop to make themselves feel better. In the end, my folks get a new computer with a nice big 22″ screen and the recipes will be re-written. So all’s well ends well eh?

Well, a day later the hard disk died. So in hindsight, there’s no difference between my accident and what would have happened anyway. Except now my dad’s and my brother’s data are lost too. Luckily though, it’s nothing that couldn’t be replaced.

The universe and all that, karmic? I do backups for my own stuff but not for the family computer. If I did, I wouldn’t have had a reason to lose it. Sometimes I resent the fact that I’m the IT guy even when I’m not at work. But lesson learnt though – backing up the family computer is not only good sense, it’s good for my fragile temper too.

Serenity now!