The Rules - Time-Tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right
If you see her reading this, you RUN!


I like this girl but she doesn’t like me. What do I do?

  • Nothing.

But I really like her!!!

  • Do you have a lot of money, time and dignity? If you don’t, have a big cry about it and find another girl to like.

I like this girl but she has a boyfriend. What do I do?

  • Nothing.

But she likes me too.

  • Then she’s a player. It’ll end in tears.

But I really like her!!!

  • One, can you win in a fight with the boyfriend? Two, do you care what people think about you? Three, any girl who would even make you ask these questions of yourself ain’t worth it.

This girl likes me, but I don’t like her. What do I do?

  • Nothing.

But she keeps calling me and bumping into me by “accident”!

  • Be a bastard – ignore her. She’ll thank you for it.

It’s been a while since I’ve you-know, and I’m kinda horny. Should I take advantage of her?

  • No, that would be taking “being a bastard” a little too far.

It’s hard. She keeps throwing herself at me.

  • Ah well, if you won’t be embarrassed if people find out about you two, then go for it you bastard.

Ah damn, now she won’t leave me alone!!!

  • Hmm, why do I suddenly feel like watching Michael Douglas movies. You know – “Fatal Attraction”, “Basic Instinct”, “Disclosure”?

I’ve been spending time and money on this girl, and doing errands for her but I’m not getting anywhere with her.

  • Abort, abort.

What?

  • I’d rather spend money on a prostitute. At least I know what I’m getting and I don’t have to beg for it.

That’s not a relationship.

  • Neither is yours.

Girls like to be wooed, she’ll turn around.

  • Hah! How long has it been? A month?! If she liked you, she’d let you have her by now!

Not all girls are like that.

  • Don’t kid yourself. All girls like it just as much as we do. If she’s itching for you, you don’t even have to do anything!

What do you know? You’ve been single for 4 years.

  • True, but at least I know enough to not ask for relationship advice from a guy who’s been single for 4 years.

:mrgreen: