I was talking to Blinkymummy on the weekend when she mentioned that she was concerned for me. She felt that I sounded depressed and different based on some of my recent posts and our conversations. I had told her not to worry and that it was nothing of the sort, but I did admit to being more tired and stressed since I’ve started the new job.
I’ve mentioned this previously and that is despite the occasional weekend shift work and increased tiredness now, I would still go out and have myself a manic weekend. Which had prompted both BM and my mother to ask me the same question,
Must you go out every weekend? Can’t you stay at home and rest?
To that I answered, it is because of the tiredness and the mental stress from work that I feel compelled to let loose on the weekend. Especially now with my new job where I’m handling a higher volume of queries and complaints. On any given week, I’m bound to deal with at least 3 or 4 difficult customers. It takes only one to stuff up my entire day. And on some days like today, I’d dealt with two such customers.
I try hard not to take it personally, or let it affect me. But it’s an effort. It’s an effort to try and relax and forget about it once I get home. Despite me going back to a comfortable home, to my family and my dog, and me being a happy person most of the time, it’s an effort nonetheless. And anything that takes effort is exhausting. It’s enough to give me a headache. How bloody ironic.
So yeah, I indulge and I imbibe on the weekends. Although I understand that my weekend escapades are taking its own toll on my body and mind, I only live once, and youth is fleeting. I’ll find more sedate forms of recreation later. Hopefully much later.