Dragon Squad

They say that there are three certainties in life: change, death, and taxes. To that I’d add: if you open your door to a couple of Jehovah Witnesses, they will keep coming back.

A couple of months ago, my brother opened the door to Mandarin-speaking ones. My brother’s Mandarin was patchy at best. So he said to them in Mandarin, “My Mandarin is very patchy”. To that, they said some pleasantries, handed him the literature which was in Chinese (natch) and left.

This morning, I opened the door to a pair of Japanese speaking ones. As soon as they saw me, they started speaking in Japanese. In my morning daze, it took a while for it to register. Luckily I know a little bit of Japanese from my Japanese girls chasing days, so I said to them, “I’m not Japanese, I’m Chinese”.

They apologised profusely - I recognised some of the words, but they kept speaking in Japanese and very quickly too, which lost me completely. So I kept repeating “I’m not Japanese, I’m Chinese”. I was hoping that that would make them switch to English but that just made them apologise even more.

So I kept smiling and bowing, and at the same time slowly pushing the door close. And finally, I got rid of them.

This episode and my brother’s make me suspect that they’ve got special team members for the different nationalities that they bring in from time to time. But the snag is that they don’t speak English. In their minds, they probably don’t need to because they are targeting specific nationalities.

But why did they send Japanese ones after failing with my brother with the Mandarin speaking ones? Wouldn’t the logical alternative be English speaking ones? Or were they just trying to throw as many Asian nationalities at us until they got it right?

Korean Movie, Open City

It’d be interesting if they send Korean ones next because I only know how to say “hello” in Korean. If they knock on the door and I am the one greeting them, the conversation would probably go like this in Korean:

Hello, we are Jehovah Wit …
Hello.
Yes, hello, good morning. We are Jehovah …
Hello.
*puzzled* We are Je …
Hello.
Are you ok?
Hello.
*the other one pipes in* I think he’s mocking us.
Are you mocking us, sir?
Hello.
Idiot.
Hello.
I hope you burn in hell!
Hello.

An nyoung ha seh yo! :mrgreen: