If you date the girl for her race, you’re an idiot
Over the weekend, there’s been a sudden flurry of activity on my post “Why don’t Aussie girls date Asian men?”
In particular, there’s two comments that I want to address. One was by an Asian guy (and presumably not a troll although he sounds like one and I had to delete a few of his comments) who has a victim mentality and likes to see racism and discrimination in everything, and another who laments that he couldn’t date a Caucasian despite having a few of them as friends.
I’ve said it before, and that is: why this need in some Asian guys to date non-Asians in order to feel validated? Instead of obsessing about dating a white woman, you should all obsess about dating the right woman.
Of all the things to get upset about, don’t you think this is very pointless and trivial? And seriously, what’s wrong with dating nice pretty Asian girls all the time? I don’t see a downside to it. So get a grip and move on to more important things yeah?
20 Responses to “If you date the girl for her race, you’re an idiot”
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It’s interesting that two and a half years after you wrote the post it is STILL getting comments…goes to show what a hot topic it is! I agree with you about going for someone for the type of person they are, NOT for their race. This goes for dating people both of the same race or of other races. I am white and am currently dating a mixed race sri lankan guy…so I guess technically he is half asian although it’s not chinese-asian which the post is referring to. I am open to dating a guy of a any race really as long as I click with him personality-wise.
I’ve also met asian guys who are fixated on dating white women. At the same time, some asian people tend to hang out exclusively with other asians and date exclusively other asians…I have friends of all races so I don’t understand why some asian people that live in western society don’t seem to have any white friends or even any friends that aren’t chinese-asian? Just a thought for the day
You know, I have never hit it off with a white female. Maybe I’m just too chinese, given my background, but I never found a white female attractive in the flesh. They look good on TV though. And I was stateside for a good two years.
I agree with you though. It’s better spending time looking for the right woman rather than anything else.
It’s nice to see you still going strong mooi.
been a long time since i commented on anything here, but like Kitty up there, i had to agree with you.
you hit it right on mooi
Hi, I have a friend who move to Europe few years ago. She is kinda obsess with dating a white guy, the funny thing is the reason she gave me. “Whats the point of going to Europe and get a asian as a BF”. I dont get it, i try not to argue this with her in order not to spoil the friendships. What’s the urge to get a White Guy instead of Asian Guys. No offense to all the white guys out there, it’s just I cant accept my friend mind set of just only date white guys.
I dont know what’s her main motive is, but a relationship is not about pride or just to show off that you got a white guy as a BF (im saying this not because of im jealous or so). All relationship has to be comes with the criteria the right one, no matter what race or gender, dont ever choose the race over the
I think people are getting confused over culture and apperance.
Last time I checked, the world is pretty much togther on the opinion of what makes a good looking women, I think the issue is more if your cultures and way of thinking don’t mesh.
girlstar7: well I’m guilty of having only Asian friends but it doesn’t mean I don’t socialise out in the general society with people of all races. But I know those types that you are referring to.
paperman: yeah exactly, besides the physical aspects there is also the cultural aspects as I’ve noted in my original post on this. Sometimes it’s just easier to click with someone of the same cultural background. And thanks for still reading!
redbeanjon: right on!
Lina: yup exactly. A fixation with one at the exclusion of all others is just bad generally.
BigZapfer: yup, it’s all about getting that elusive connection and clicking both mentally and physically.
Can I ask if there’s any particular reason why you have only asian friends? I always find this concept baffling! I have quite a few chinese-asian friends and their friends tend to represent a broad cross-section of races; if anything, the majority of their friends tend to be caucasian simply because the majority of people they grew up with are caucasian. Yet other asian people that live here seem to socialise only in big groups of asian people (I am not talking about those who came here as adults thus struggle with language barriers. I am talking about those who were born here or came here when they were quite young and speak fluent English). Considering a huge proportion of Australian society are caucasian, I wonder why they totally avoid making friends with us? Any insights? It is a concept that has always made me curious….is it the parental pressure to associate with other asian people/marry another asian person?
I can’t speak for all Asians so I’ll stick to mine and my family’s experience. I don’t intentionally exclude Caucasians from becoming friends – I had some during high school.
Being the only Asian at work also means that I have no problems getting along with my colleagues and I speak to random strangers of all kinds when I’m out socialising and partying.
I don’t think there’s a family pressure to not have white friends either. I have a cousin who’s only ever dated white girls and his group of friends are all white. Meanwhile, his younger brother’s friends are mostly Chinese.
So even in the same family, there’s differences between individuals. And it just so happens that my core friends now share my cultural background and values.
To view it from another angle, most Caucasians only have other Caucasians as friends. So this concept of ppl grouping together based on a familiar cultural background is not baffling to me at all.
Good answer. I guess it’s just individual preferences. Not sure if I’ve told you but I’ve been offered a teaching job in China and will be leaving later this month. I intend to work there for six months then travel quite a lot around Asia. The city I will be living in has ten million people and only 1000 or less are caucasian so it will be very interesting to be the outsider (apparenlty caucasian people get a lot of stares). It will also be interesting to see if I end up hanging out with the other caucasian foreigners over there rather than the chinese locals. I wouldnt be surprised if this did happen, partly because of the language barrier.
On another note, any plans to go to Malaysia/Singapore at the end of this year? I may end up being there at the same time!
China is bewildering even for a Chinese so I’d advice sticking with the other expats for a while until you get a feel of the place.
I should be somewhere in the vicinity of Malaysia/Singapore so I’ll let you know.
I’m a caucasian aussie girl myself, and my partner is vietnamese australian…however this was not a reason why I was attracted to him when we met. I was attracted by his warm smile and his charisma!
I think it’s fetishistic when a person of any race exclusively dates people of another race. I would find it totally weird if my boyfriend had dated only caucasian women before me, just as I am sure he would find it creepy if I’d dated only Asian men before him.
Moral of the story: date the person not the race.
Becky: thanks for sharing your story! And I agree – if we could stop focusing on someone’s race, there’d so much more that we will be able to see.
ha, this is exactly why I’ve begun to loose interest in Asian men lately.
I’m black, and I used to be VERY attracted to asian men. But lately the way so many of them seem unnaturally obsessed with only white women began to be a turn-off and frankly it just makes them look like losers. =/
So I’m kinda loosing intrest in them now, but it doesn’t matter since they were never interested in black women anyway LOL. But that’s just my own 2 cents. ^_^
Hey Mooiness good topic, I have noticed on forums I have been on that have nothing to do with asians or dating (usually cars, music or gaming sites) somehow there is always a thread regarding why there is so many white guys with asians girls. My guess is its only the same few sterotypical bitter asian guys posting the same thing on multiple forums.
I’m a white aussie male dating an asian girl from the U.S and when we go to the city I can see that yes there are alot of white man/asian woman couples and I think if you had that victim mentality it would send you over the edge, leading to these mass postings on internet boards and youtube vids about it. However I think the majority of asian guys dont care and its a few weirdos making all the noise that make other asian guys look bad.
I agree with what everyone else has said so far, those who fixate on the race of their partners ,from my experience are usually very creepy individuals to start with and are best avoided by all whether they be white or asian, male or female.
Hi Andy! Thanks for sharing your experience – it adds an interesting perspective to the topic.
Just wondering….y do asian guys seem 2 think loads of aussies r S****??? This is just as bad as saying all asian guys r shy dorks-it all goes back 2 who u know.
I have been told that those shy, meek, sweet asian girls are psycho in the sack and that’s y all those pervy old white men love them all the more- that and wanting a live-in house maid who will also do so much more than just cook and clean…
To me that is bullshit too….so many of u r so closed-minded and one dimensional.
I feel sorry 4 u all as u miss out. There’s so much fun 2 b had with all types. Just chill out and get over urselves…Who r u 2 judge anywayz.
I am Asian and I like girls of every race and nationality.
I have dated lots of white girlfriends, Swedish, French, Danish, Dutch, German, and Brazilian girlfriends.
I have also met a lot of very nice Spanish, Polish, Italian, Russian, Mexican girls, although I never had the time to date those other girls, we were just good friends.
On the other hand, I have never been able to date a white Anglo/British girl, the British girls tend to be very nice and polite to me, and they seem to like me a lot, like they would give me a ride in their car if I need a ride, but they seem to like me only as a friend, not as a boyfriend.
I guess that the white Anglo/British girls have this idea that Asian men are not attractive. Hollywood movies have always depicted Chinese men as lacking sex appeal, like being devoid of sexuality.
In any case, I tend to prefer Asian girls, because I find the Asian girls more feminine, with really nice slim sexy bodies.
I have met a lot of very sweet and caring white Danish, French and Dutch girls who told me they wanted to go out with me because they found Asian men very hot ( the white Swedish and German girls were more shy, and they just gave me a sweet smile to encourage me to take them out, but the Swedish and German girls were more shy and reserved than the Danish and the Dutch girls, it is a matter of national temperament ) but I only liked those white girls as friends because I found that the Asian girls have a nicer, slimmer body.
My preferences would be Japanese, Taiwanese, Vietnamese and Philippines girls because I have dated those Asian girls. I love the Chinese and the Korean girls too, although I have not dated them yet.
Of course, we should like girls of every race and nationality, although keeping in mind that every culture and nationality may have different national temperament and prejudices. Some nationalities such as the Anglo/British girls may look down on Asian men. The British girls only like you Asian men as friends, not as boyfriends because they think Asian men are devoid of sex appeal.
The Thai girls also seem to look down on Asian men, ( they would not even admit Asian men into their bars in Bangkok, the bars are only for white men ) and most Thai girls all seem to want to go out with white men only because they tend to worship white men.
On the other hand, most Vietnamese and Philippines girls are quite happy to go out with Asian men, and not just with white men.
Interestingly enough, most Vietnamese and Philippines men are quite confident and they will always try to go out with white girls, whereas the Thai men would not dare try to approach white girls.
It is probably due to the fact that Thai people have been indoctrinated by the British to believe that white people are superior, whereas the Vietnamese people were never taught by the French that white people were superior, and the Philippines people were never taught by the Spaniards that white people were superior.
In the final analysis, we are all the same, and we should go out with girls of every race and nationality.
hey I am actually mix background.. half asian and white. The thing is I mix with a lot of people and I don’t really care about the other person’s race. I all depends on the person I am dating.
What I learned is every person I meet is different! no one is the same