Trance Energy Australia, today at Belvoir Amphitheatre.

Ostensibly, the stimulus money that all Australian tax payers will be getting from the government soon is for us to spend on goods and services. Thus, stimulating the economy, preserving jobs etc. etc. Here’s some words from our PM, fake Kevin Rudd.

—
“This year, taxpayers will receive an Economic Stimulus Payment. This is a very exciting new program that I will explain using the Q and A format:

Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment?
A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

Q. Where will the government get this money?
A. From taxpayers.

Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
A. Only a smidgin.

Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set or some such thing, thus stimulating the economy.

Q. But isn’t that stimulating the economy of China ?
A. Shut up.

Below are some helpful advice on how to best help the Australian economy by spending your stimulus cheque wisely:
If you spend that money at Kmart, all the money will go to China.
If you spend it on petrol it will go to the Middle East.
If you purchase a computer it will go to India.
If you buy a car it will go to Japan.
If you purchase useless crap it will go to Taiwan.

And none of it will help the Australian economy.

We need to keep that money here in Australia. You can keep the money in Australia by spending it at garage sales, going to a cricket match or footy game, or spend it on prostitutes, beer and wine (domestic ONLY), or tattoos, since those are the only businesses that may still be owned by Aussies.

Thank you all Australians,
Your mate,
Fake K.RUDD.
—

(thanks Lydia!)

Kayo came up with the idea of wearing a uniform, Kitty came up with the words, and I came up with the font. And now, 10 of us will be wearing these words printed on white and black tees on the day.

Easter Sunday. 4 more sleeps. Trance Energy Australia. Can’t wait.

Who would have thunk that a parody song about premature ejaculation can be sooo funny?

I’m a strong adherent to the code of “bros before hos“. One part of my particular version of the code is that I will not place blame on a friend just because a girl I like fancies him more. Emotions are funny like that – you can’t control how you feel, so feeling resentment for a guy just because the girl I like happen to like him more is silly. Especially when the guy is a good and longtime friend.

Recently, a friend came to me expressing concern about a situation like the above. I had told him that there was no need to tell me. “You know me, I’m not like that” I’d said. He said, “I know but it’s always good to be completely sure rather than assume that you’d be ok about it.”

And that is why he is one of my bff bros.

Apparently, this became an Internet meme a while back, where instead of just saying “I don’t know”, you’d type “idk my bff jill lol” for greater lulz. I must have missed the memo on it.

(thanks Phil!)