If he can’t handle your past, then why are you still with him?
I had said that I am not the sentimental type. I am able to talk about past relationships but I don’t hold on to anything that would remind me of them. I have no photos, no clothing, and no knick-knacks of any form floating around in my room that would give you an idea that I’ve ever had a girlfriend.
But I don’t expect the same from a potential girlfriend. Of course she would have been with other men as well. If she’s had more boyfriends than I have had girlfriends, I don’t consider her of looser morals – I’d consider her more experienced. And she doesn’t have to hide her past from me. I wouldn’t want her talking about her exes all the time, but I won’t make her feel that she has to hide herself from me either.
That is why I don’t understand the men who mandates that the woman cannot have anything that reminds her of past boyfriends, even if she hides them away out of sight. Being jealous is bad enough, but being insecure and jealous about the men who had been in her life is insane. Or at least, you will go insane thinking about it.
I am not saying that the current boyfriend and the ex should get along perfectly, or that the boyfriend should allow the girlfriend to hang out with the ex alot like it’s not a problem (it is!). But to fret and worry about how she might feel for a guy in her past because she held on to a few gifts and photos is stupid and not healthy for the relationship. More energy and effort should be spent on the current and real relationship, right?
If I am going to be with a woman, I am going to accept her completely and that includes her past because it’s what made her into the person that she is now. It goes a lot into understanding her and that’s always a good thing.
If your man can’t accept your past, you have to ask yourself, “Why are you still with him?”
Looking ahead and looking back can co-exist
(keepitsurreal @ flickr)
4 Responses to “If he can’t handle your past, then why are you still with him?”
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fwah… what happened?
Well, it’s all to do with my cousin and her wanting all evidence of her wedding to be gone from this blog. Gave me a whole new topic to rant about.
I agree with you on this one…everyone has a past and the older someone is, the more likely they are to have had more past relationships, more serious past relationships and longer past relationships. It is unrealistic to meet someone who is, say, 30 and expect them to be a virgin who has never had a relationship before! Somtimes you just need to accept that yes, that person has a past but that they have moved on and they are with you now
girlstar7: Unless she is Susan Boyle
She’s apparently a virgin.
I agree with Mooi on this one. When I was younger, I used to be concerned if my bf has any keepsakes from past relationships but not anymore. I read from somewhere that some people actually treasure memories more than other people do. It’s just memories.. the past.. As long as you are secure in knowing that he will not stray in the future, the past doesn’t matter.
I also dont think girls should divulge any information about her past to her current bf. All this person need to know is she had other bf before. Everything else is none of his business unless the ex somehow exist in the current bf’s circle of friends.