The other day, I was telling Tham one of my theories about how men and women select their mates.
Two guys of similar appearance and personality.
Nice guys.
One is rich, one not so rich.
The girl will always pick the rich one.
I don’t see anything wrong with the above. I don’t see any need to get bitter about it because that’s the reality.
A couple of months back there was an episode of “Lie To Me” where the lie-detection experts were hired by a rich guy to analyse his fiance. His question: does she love him for him or because he’s rich?
After speaking with the woman casually without her knowing who they were, and analysing her responses and body language, the team of experts concluded that she does indeed love him for his money. The rich guy was disappointed and wanted to call off the wedding. Then the team added, “Yes she loves you for your money, but she also loves you. To her, the two are indistinguishable.” Still not convinced by that argument, the team then poses the question, “How is that different to you loving her because she’s a beautiful woman?”
And the answer is: there is no difference. Men are biologically driven to mate with young and pretty women because those traits are perceived to be synonymous with health and good genes, while women prefer mates who can provide for her and her children.*
So as much as we like to think of ourselves as not being shallow or materialistic, to a certain extent we all are. So, let’s not get hung up about it, let’s accept the reality and mate accordingly. At the very least, I dare say that that will lead to less angst and bitterness about who doesn’t deserve whom.
* for further reading on this, check out Desmond Morris’ excellent documentary and book, “The Human Animal“.
When you’re single,
you’re exactly as happy as you are.
When you’re married,
you can only be as happy as the least
happy person in the relationship.
My favourite shows on TV besides crime procedurals like “CSI” and “Law and Order”, are shows that explore the funny dynamics of male-female relationships, and “Rules of Engagement” is one of those shows. The characters include a married couple, a young couple who just got engaged, and their single guy friend who doesn’t want to settle down even though he’s turning 40.
The show is full of great lines like the above and the casting is spot on, especially Patrick Warburton as the husband, and David Spade as the sleazy older guy. To give you a feel of the show, here’s a clip showing the cast doing a read through of part of an episode.
And here are some outtakes.
And yes, I like to think of myself as the David Spade character in the show. Although I am not as lucky with women.
And when I’m not with them, I think about them. Some days when I’m in a reflective mood, I like walking around the perfume counters of a department store. I like walking around taking in the scents which can, at any random time, trigger a memory of an encounter, an ex-girlfriend or a relationship that never was.
That memory can trigger more memories, or it can lead me down a path of wondering and reminiscing. And most times, I would walk out smiling.
When you are not in love, you see the problems and pitfalls.
When you are in it, you don’t see them at all.
When you are not in love, you see the pros and cons.
When you are in it, you see all the pros but not the cons.
When you are not in love, you won’t put up with the bad and the ugly.
When you are in it, you put up with it despite the bad and the ugly.
When you are not in love, you can’t understand what goes through their minds.
When you are in it, you can’t understand why people mind so much.
When what is obviously bad to them, seem insignificant to you.
For those in it then, like you,
Love is truly blind.
content with my job, money, social life, friends, family and my dog,
happy because I’m content,
apathetic because I’m happy and content,
which makes me somewhat self-centred or at most, makes me care only for my immediate circle of friends and family.
That’s my current state of mind.
And because of past disappointments, I will myself into not hoping for too much of anything, or from anyone which means I’m cynical. I don’t expect people to be perfect so long as they don’t do me wrong. If they do do me wrong, then they’d probably not feature in my life anymore. Which makes me not very sentimental at all.
I’m so cynical and I don’t care what others think of me that it’s easy to be self-confident. Which makes it easy to not have to rely on material things to feel worthy, or to prop me up. I don’t eat or drink because of depression, though I do eat to be happy.
And I certainly don’t need another person to complete me, or to make me happy although that would be very nice. At least that’s what I keep telling myself anyway, when I’m not too busy feeling content, happy, apathetic, self-centred, cynical, unsentimental and confident.
