You know how some people would say, “I’m too busy to date” but the moment they meet someone whom they are crazy for and couldn’t stop thinking about, they will be wondering why are they too busy to date? They will make the time for it, or they will be careless with whatever it is that they were doing. Some will even be driven to obsessive and irrational behaviour.

Logic and sense will be thrown out the window. Then again, when is love or lust govern by logic anyway? “The heart wants what it wants” may describe the strong urge to obtain the object of desire except that it is the primitive part of the brain which controls this very basic drive to mate.

You can try doing all kinds of things to be distracted but as soon as you stop, the thoughts come flooding back in. So while one can try to apply some kind of logical argument to it, it is very difficult to stop thinking and obsessing about the other person. This is especially true when the other person has rejected you or if they are not the ideal mate for you and you know it. And we’ve all heard these arguments before …

• She’s not right for you.
• There are plenty of fish in the sea. You’ll find another.
• Find someone else who is more appreciative of you.
• Dude, she’s with someone else.

Perfectly logical, right? However, the eyes and ears are seeing and hearing different things, and the mind is yelling, “But I don’t want to find another girl, I want her!” So what’s a friend to do? You can try to calm and console the love-afflicted. You can say sensible things to them and hope that in time they’d understand. You hope that they’d wake up to the reality sooner rather than later. The person may be difficult to deal with during this period and that’s understandable. They are confused and they are hurting, and they can’t control their feelings.

But you stand beside them, waiting to catch them if they fall. Because when it happens to you, you’d want them to do the same too.

“Nobody” by Korean girl-group Wonder Girls
I want nobody, nobody but you …