True story this. Well, an amalgation of separate events …
Discover that out of 12 people who had the same sushi and sashimi, you are the only one who is feeling the tummy rumbles.
You are in the middle of the dance floor.
You feel the urgency but you can’t run. Even if you can, people are in your way. You walk agonisingly towards the toilets, working those abs, clenching them like they’ve never been clenched before.
You walk into the stinky toilets. There’s only one stall.
Someone’s in it. You look up at the ceiling thinking, “Please please please hurry up.”
You hurrily rush in after the person left. The stench is over-powering but you’ve got more important things to worry about, like not crapping in your pants.
Fuck, the door doesn’t close properly.
You hurrily wipe down the toilet seat, only to realise – shit (pun, haha), you haven’t left much for yourself. Fuck fuck fuck.
Too late to do anything about it – you just gotta go.
You balance yourself on the creaky toilet seat with one foot pushing the door, holding it close.
And … you let it all out. Ahhhh. And it goes, and it goes and it goes. It sounds like you are peeing … from your ass.
Oh no, your door-closing leg is starting to cramp up. Hurry up asshole (yours, that is)! Pee, err … poo it all out!
Woo! All done! Now about that toilet paper problem. 4 squares. 1-ply. Think, damn it. Ok, fold it over twice, clench your ass real tight, wipe and hope for the best. Hmm, just a bit more to go but you’ve ran out of toilet paper.
Looking at your hand. Thinking. Looking. Thinking. “It has to be done, dude.” Shut up, I know!
Ugh, sorry hand. *wipe* Ok, you think that’s all of it.
Stand up, push your back against the door to keep it close. Pull your pants up with your one clean hand. You don’t even want to look at your other hand.
Flush. Wait for the water to refill. And you flush once more, but this time you dip your hand into the rushing water near the top. You had to do it, there was no choice.
And finally, you exit the stall and you wash your hands. With soap, lots of it.
You walk out, flashing a silly contented smile to yourself. Fucking sushi!
Yes, it has happened more than once, hence the word “amalgation” up top, but some toilets are better than others – doors that close properly, the floors are dry and there’s plenty of toilet paper.
Woo anyways, onwards to Godskitchen tonight! Woohoo!
You know how some people would say, “I’m too busy to date” but the moment they meet someone whom they are crazy for and couldn’t stop thinking about, they will be wondering why are they too busy to date? They will make the time for it, or they will be careless with whatever it is that they were doing. Some will even be driven to obsessive and irrational behaviour.
Logic and sense will be thrown out the window. Then again, when is love or lust govern by logic anyway? “The heart wants what it wants” may describe the strong urge to obtain the object of desire except that it is the primitive part of the brain which controls this very basic drive to mate.
You can try doing all kinds of things to be distracted but as soon as you stop, the thoughts come flooding back in. So while one can try to apply some kind of logical argument to it, it is very difficult to stop thinking and obsessing about the other person. This is especially true when the other person has rejected you or if they are not the ideal mate for you and you know it. And we’ve all heard these arguments before …
She’s not right for you.
There are plenty of fish in the sea. You’ll find another.
Find someone else who is more appreciative of you.
Dude, she’s with someone else.
Perfectly logical, right? However, the eyes and ears are seeing and hearing different things, and the mind is yelling, “But I don’t want to find another girl, I want her!” So what’s a friend to do? You can try to calm and console the love-afflicted. You can say sensible things to them and hope that in time they’d understand. You hope that they’d wake up to the reality sooner rather than later. The person may be difficult to deal with during this period and that’s understandable. They are confused and they are hurting, and they can’t control their feelings.
But you stand beside them, waiting to catch them if they fall. Because when it happens to you, you’d want them to do the same too.
“Nobody” by Korean girl-group Wonder Girls
I want nobody, nobody but you …
Ever since my uni days, I’ve had more female friends than guy friends or girlfriends. A lot of my insights into women were gained by being in these platonic relationships. It hasn’t necessarily helped me get more girlfriends because sometimes the more I know about women, the more I hesitate about the emotional investment and maintenance that goes into having a girlfriend. Either that or I can spot bad female behaviour right away and I’d keep my distance from her immediately.
But all that may be the point of another post in the future. This post is about how it isn’t all that bad to be the platonic guy friend. Although I had no illusions about my relationships with these women, it was very comforting and nice to be around them at the time. Emotionally satisfying, if you will.
I’d list the little reasons why …
One would always look after me when I’ve had a little too much to drink, propping me up on her couch and pulling a blanket over me.
One would always pay me her full attention even as guys try to pick her up. Sometimes she’d pull me away into a corner to avoid other people and we can continue with our conversations.
One would leave handwritten notes laced with perfume in my car, so that not only would they be a nice surprise when I find them in the morning, my car would smell like her too.
One would let me touch her fake boobs – they were very nice looking, but very firm too.
One values my opinion of what she wears.
One would always cook for me when she can and asks me to go over and eat. Plus her parents loved me. Ch-yeah, who wouldn’t?
And let’s not forget all the hugging and kissing on the cheeks. I like touching girls, what can I say? Hah!
The situation in my life right now is the same as it has been: I still have more female friends and acquaintances than male ones, and I still like that arrangement very much. So yeah, being the platonic guy friend is not bad. Unless you happen to like the girl a lot, then that would really suck. You can try your luck, and hang around and wait, but don’t wait too long yeah?
