Long distance relationships were hard then, and they are hard now
Back in my day, there were no email, no instant messaging, no web-cam, and no mobile phones, no SMS, and no cheap long-distance calling cards. Going into a long distance relationship was just asking for a difficult, expensive and sometimes very painful experience, no matter how much in love you thought you were at the time.
With a lot of time and space separating you, your mind can go into overdrive with guilt, suspicion, and worry. The lusting for each other can become a lusting for someone else closer and available. A relationship is enough work without the added distance and absence from each other’s lives. Small issues can become magnified and trivial matters can lead to the biggest arguments.
And pretty soon, calling each other starts to feel like work and obligation, and it leads to resentment.
Now that there is email, instant messaging, web-cam, mobile phones, SMS and cheap long-distance calling cards, is it any easier? Although I feel that modern technology may prolong the relationship, ultimately I don’t think it is any easier than it was before when there weren’t so many ways to communicate.
Nothing beats physical presence, and being able to read each other’s faces and body language clearly. Sex aside, I like to be able to touch and hold my girlfriend without having to wait for weeks and months, and even years. For this reason alone, I won’t ever consider going into a long-distance relationship no matter how much I like the girl.
I may have lost out on the greatest loves of my life because of this, but I may have also spared myself the agony of an LDR. Is it better to have loved and lost, than to not have loved at all? Hmm, easy for you to say if you haven’t experienced hurt before. Or you know, if you are a masochist. 
12 Responses to “Long distance relationships were hard then, and they are hard now”
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I agree.. lol i’m not a masochist but i’m infact in a long distance relatioship, which is toturing and not pleasuring. You mentioned you wont consider going into a LDR, but what if this girl u have been with so many yrs, you are so committed, u think she is the one for you and u wanted to marry her. One day she comes to you & say, baby im still young, i wanna go to this country and explore whats out there. What willl u do
Are long-distance relationships easier now than they were then? I would answer both yes and no. On one hand, you have all sorts of technology that allows you to stay in touch on a daily basis: skype, MSN, cheap long-distance calling cards, Facebook, e-mail; the list goes on!! You can communicate with someone in another country/city much more easily than you could even ten years ago. But on the other hand, communication on the phone and via the internet is not the same as face-to-face. Despite all this new technology, the fact is, you still can’t SEE the person, you can’t have sex with them (unless you count cyber/phone sex), you can’t hug or kiss them, and odds are, you spend a LOT of time seriously missing them!!
When deciding whether to be in a LDR I think you need to weigh up a couple of factors: 1. how much you really love the person. If you ain’t that serious about them, don’t even bother. 2. How temporary the situation will be. Are they going away for two months, two years or indefinitely? If they are only away for a couple of months, and you really love them, odds are you can stick through it and make it work. But if they are moving to the other side of the world indefinitely and you don’t want to go, it’s probably not gonna work out!
IInsaneClown: hmm, not to be a pessimist but if she’s young still and she’s off travelling around the world, I’d prepare myself for the inevitable break-up. Hold out hope but don’t close your mind off to other possibilities as well.
girlstar7: the LDRs that I’m talking about are those where the people meet each other at a 3rd location (ie. neither place that the persons involved are living in), hooks up and then decides to have the LDR.
If it’s a committed relationship, and the people have to live apart for a while, that’s a different story.
I’ve been through this before and it is hard. Plus you feel resentful that even though you’re together, he is never there when you need him the most. Traveling lost distances to see each other was exciting at first but became a chore after a while.
Yeah it would be a chore, an expensive one at that. Not being able to be there for one another when you need them the most would be a deal breaker in most relationships.
How about this:
Isn’t it better to be loved in LDR and knowing that she’ll be there for you for the rest of your life than feeling loved and then lost?
I had the former and now we are no longer having LDR anymore. That’s the lifetime reward.
So it didn’t work out then? Your comparison don’t seem to make sense. Both aren’t good endings.
When I mean that we’re no longer in LDR, what I really mean is that we’re physically together, side by side. =)
Oh yea, forgot to mention that our LDR was for 2.5 years.
Ah, then congratulations that it worked out that way for you. I didn’t say that LDR will never work, but if you have a solid foundation then the chances are higher that they will.
Thanks pal. Yeah I know… but I reckon that you should give a try the next time u’re into LDR. The outcome would be much better than being a single again, right? Good luck in finding the right one.
Hahah I don’t mind being single really. Thanks for kind wishes though!
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