An easy relationship is a real relationship too
I see people persist with difficult and frustrating relationships and it makes me wonder why. I have a theory and that is some think that a relationship is not a meaningful one if it doesn’t involve hard work and sacrifice. I think that’s misguided. Nothing’s wrong with a relationship that feels effortless and is easy-going.
I am not saying a relationship does not require effort and compromises because most do. But when the effort and compromises start to outweigh the joy and happiness that you get out of the relationship, I think you owe it to yourself to question what is it that is making you stay.
Conversely, the good parts may outweigh the bad. What ratio, good versus bad, that this has to be is up to the individual. Some have infinite patience and willpower and what may seem like a needlessly difficult relationship to me may be a great one to you because of different priorities and values. What may seem like an imbalanced trade off to me may be a fair one to you.
The key thing I suppose is whether or not a person is happy in the relationship. If you are happy, then nothing anyone else says matter. Personally, I can’t be happy in a relationship that feels like work all the time but that’s just me. I’m lazy. 
4 Responses to “An easy relationship is a real relationship too”
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I think once marriages become very long-term and children become involved, the situation is completely different. The relationship might seem like really hard work but splitting up may be harder work because you need to think about the children, how they will be affected, who they will live in, not to mention mortgages, the splitting of the assets, division of property etc. I also think that once you are in a long-term marriage things will never be easy: romance is replaced by needs such as looking after children and paying the bills.
However, I think if the situation is where a couple are simply in a relationship where they don’t have property, marriage vows or children they really shouldn’t stay if the relationship feels like all hard work and no fun! If you feel miserable more than you feel happy, that’s a bad sign and you should run…you shouldn’t forsake your own happiness just for the sake of being in ANY relationship rather than being on your own.
Yes, should have made it more clear. I was referring not to marriages where kids, property and finances are involved. Just your regular pre-marital relationships.
In the case of pre-marital relationships, you are very right. It’s as simple as that but too many people drag all kinds of other emotions into in and hence, never find the courage to split.
That, and also some feel that they have invested too much time into the relationship to give up on it. Even though, time spent should really be considered “sunk costs” that cannot be recovered.