I had planned for my holiday since September. I was going to be spending one week in Singapore from January the 8th till the 16th with Tham and Kayo, and my parents will be here to look after Snoop. The tickets had been bought and the accommodation booked. Then everything changed on the 27th of December. News came that my grandmother who’s in her 90s was hospitalised and it doesn’t look good this time.

Dad flew off to Penang on the 30th and mom followed the next day. And that was why I had the house to myself to celebrate NYE with my friends. I had to then hope that the kennels that I’ve always used would have a spare place at such short notice. Luckily for me they did, but the only day they could take him was today.

All the while, my parents have been updating me every day and most of the time their messages were along the lines of “this might be her time”. This added to my stress as I would have to fly off at a moment’s notice which means I would have to arrange for urgent leave from work, call my cousin who had previously agreed to do it to come over to house-sit, and to arrange for Tham to take Snoop to the kennels. I had also anticipated not being able to take the same flight to Singapore with Tham and Kayo.

Planning these contingencies was ok but not knowing when I would have to deal with them was very stressful. Every day for the past week, I would wake up and hoped that I didn’t get a message on my phone telling me the worst. I really hated not being in control of my schedules, and the stress of not knowing got to me. I was glad that I had my friends around me most of the past week to help ease my mind and anxiety attacks.

As it turns out, I could still take Snoop to the kennels myself today and I would still fly to Singapore tomorrow night with Tham and Kayo. But, I now have to fly off to Penang right after I’ve landed because now is “really her time”. I’m not sure how long I will be in Penang for but what’s certain is that my plans for my time in Singapore is no longer valid. I won’t be able to catch up with some of the people whom I’ve been meaning to catch up with, and I won’t be able to be with Tham and Kayo in Singapore as much as I wanted to. Though I still hope to have a few days there on the way home to Perth.

It’s kinda silly and selfish but all this time I kept thinking in the back of my mind how my holidays have been ruined, though death is never good timing is it?