Marcus is a fan of …

• Getting all jealous when your crush talks to someone of your gender … even when they are old like your grandpa.
• Scratching your butt when you pee.
• Walking the long way just so you can walk behind that hot chick just a little bit longer.
• Looking down at your food and chewing really slowly because you see someone that you don’t want to talk to walking towards you.
• Thinking your dog smells fine when everyone else doesn’t.
• Shazaming songs and if that doesn’t work, googling the lyrics.
• Putting on earphones when you have to do a #2 in a public toilet so that you don’t have to listen to the embarrassing noises and worry about how loud and echo-y the place is.
• That fake lemon smell in car fresheners.
• Silently mouthing the words to WTF. You just did it, didn’t you?
• Giving the finger to the computer. With both hands. And moving them up and down.
• Cracking your fingers three times because twice just isn’t satisfying enough.
• Making that stupid face when you’re trimming your nose hair.
• If it smells ok, you can still wear it.
• If it’s yellow, let it mellow. I’m helping save water, assholes!
• Staring at your own blog, thinking how great it is.