I work in tech support so I know what I’m talking about when I tell you that these are the best type of subject lines to use when you email us:

• Use caps. Example: WHY CAN’T I GET MY EMAILS?
• Use lots of exclamation or question marks. Example: Are your servers down?????? Bonus: use both to indicate incredulity or sarcasm. Example: Are your servers down?!?!?!?!
• Be sarcastic. Example: Wow. Your servers are down again.
• Don’t bother with the email subject. Example:
• Use the words “Urgent”, “ASAP”, or “Right Now” in your subject. Example: Urgent – I need this fixed right now.
• Combine any of the above for maximum effect. Example: WOW. YOUR SERVERS ARE DOWN AGAIN?!?!?! FIX IT RIGHT NOW!!!

Doing the above will ensure that your query is responded to in a timely manner. Really, it would.

moar funny pictures

2006 – 4 years old approx. and with all of his legs still.

Snoop the dog – an update from Marcus Ooi on Vimeo.

2007 – a month after one of his legs was amputated but already bouncing around like he still has four. Here’s the story of his ordeal.

Snoop eating rockmelon from Marcus Ooi on Vimeo.

2008 – eating rock melon. Just like the above, this has been posted before but worth digging up again.

(Youtube)

The Princess needs saving and you are just the man to do it. But what happens after you’ve rescued her? Now there’s a relationship to maintain and that’s a whole other game that you didn’t sign up for. Heh.

This clip is admittedly sexist and misogynistic with its views about women and relationships but there are some truths in it. Ok there I said it!

(via Kotaku)

Tham and I had another one of our hypothetical discussions about men and women. We brought up the scenario whereby if a girl is introduced to both of us, and both of us find her attractive, what would be the correct action to take?

Without a second thought, we both agree on settling the argument with playing a few rounds of scisssors paper stone and whoever loses would bow out gracefully. Heh. Of course this makes the childish assumption that whoever wins the game will get the girl. We would have ignored the fact that we can’t control how the girl feels.

She will like whoever she likes. And if she likes the other person then so be it, so long as there was no under-handedness about it like one guy bad-mouthing the other, which happened to me – the guy is no longer a friend naturally.

We also brought up the secondary hypothetical discussion and it is a fantastical one for sure, but what if the girl is cool with an open relationship, would we be willing to share her? We both said “no” at first but then on second thoughts: if she’s hot, erm yeah why the heck not?! Though we added a caveat to that: but not at the same time. Because eww, gross. Crossing swords. *shudder* Hah!

I work for MYOB, the Australian company that makes the accounting software and here’s proof! However, I get the same questions about my job every time that I tell people so I thought I might as well write a post about it.

The things to get out of the way first:

• I’m not an accountant and I don’t know how to use the accounting software.
• I don’t provide technical support for it, nor do I program or code for it.
• I can’t get you a discount on the software – I have no connection to that side of the business at all.

So what is it that I do for MYOB? I work for a business division that provides web and email hosting services for small to medium-sized companies – the same kind of companies that would buy MYOB’s accounting software. What that means is that these companies come to us to host their website and business emails when managing and maintaining their own email and web servers is not logical, economically feasible, or is more hassle to them than it’s worth.

Plus, they don’t have the economies of scale to provide the backup, the redundancy and the up-time (99.99%) that we can.

The business division has three brands and they are essentially the same products but with different pricing and different levels of support:

• Ilisys – I started with this company on the day it was bought out by MYOB, March 2008.
• Smartyhost
• MYOB Business Web Hosting

My official title is “Webhosting Technical Support Specialist”. The support that my team mates and I provide does not include the design of websites – that is left to the customer or the web-designer that they’d contract the job out to. Our job is to help keep the sites running once they have been uploaded to our servers, and to ensure that customers can receive and retrieve their business emails. We also help with the registration and renewals of domain names (for example, mooiness.com is a domain name). And we provide basic support with setting up email software like Microsoft Outlook and web-design tools like Dreamweaver.

The tools of my trade include the Internet, woohoo! That means I’m constantly on the net all the time and I’ve got an excuse for it. And yes, that is why I seem to be on Facebook and MSN a lot. Being able to read and browse the Internet is also good for stress-relief because as you can imagine, customers only call or email when there’s a problem and sometimes it’s our fault. However, the occasional “thank you” from a happy customer is quite satisfying.

Oh and I shall leave you with two images to help you picture my job better. Most times, I look like Trinity in the Matrix, ie. I am not smiling and I frown a lot. Hah!

And the way we administer the servers and files makes it look like we are l33t haxx0rs but it’s nothing as impressive. But I do love doing things on the command line just because every non-IT person thinks it looks cool.

(Youtube)

Hugh Jackman drinks Lipton Ice Tea and awesomeness ensues. (via Pajiba)

I’ve been watching these segments on a Taiwanese variety show where they get two girls and show their faces before and after putting on some makeup. The one who looks the most different is suppose to win a prize, money or something. The segments play up the half-truth that there are no ugly girls, just lazy girls.

There are more amazing transformations than the one shown in the clip above but it’s the only clip that I could find that has English subtitles, but you get the general idea. And although I think the show “uglify” them a little to exaggerate the difference, it’s still pretty amazing.

One thing I realise after watching all this: the eyes are very important. If a girl can make her eyes pop, she’s more than half way there to making herself look really pretty.

Anyhow it got me thinking, as these things usually do … what if you met a girl like that and only after becoming serious with her, you realise that she looks vastly different when she doesn’t have makeup on? What would your response be:

1. Be horribly disappointed and break up with her?
2. You really like who she is but you have this idea of being seen with a hot girl in public at all times, so you make her wear makeup whenever she’s out and being seen with you?
3. You don’t care either way because you like the idea that she has two totally different looks?

I think most sensible guys will go with the 3rd option but I have heard stories of girls never letting their boyfriends see them without makeup, even in bed. Some would even wake up earlier to put on their make up. Though the problem could also be the girl’s self-esteem and self-image, and not necessarily because of a demanding boyfriend.

I’d love a girl who puts an effort into her appearance. But a confident girl who can be casual and not worry too much about how she looks is also quite attractive to me. What do I want? My cake, and to be able to eat it too I guess. Hah!