“I thought he was just being nice to me”
(Youtube)
Had a DMC with Ashley tonight about how some girls lead guys on without knowing it. This usually happens with girls who are oblivious to the following two things.
- Most guys are decent in the company of women. We would be polite, courteous, considerate and we will do nice things for you. But there is such a thing as being too nice. This is when he does things like driving you places even when it’s inconvenient to him, reschedule his plans around yours, and generally being available whenever you need him to be; not just once, not just sometimes, but all the time.
Girls, ask yourself this question? Would your closest female friends be that nice to you? If the answer is no, then yeah he likes you. Because no guy is ever so nice to you without wanting something. Hell, given a chance, your closest male friends wouldn’t mind boinking you either.
- Ok girls, let’s just say the guy is stupid too for not expressing himself verbally or physically. Instead, he just keeps doing these nice things for you in the hope of you falling for him without him having to stick his neck out, ie. the chicken-shit way, and you thought that he was just being nice to you. Fair enough.
But, once your radar starts picking up something more you should start extracting and removing yourself from his atmosphere. You have to stop letting him be nice to you because although you are not reciprocating his niceties, by letting him continue to do nice things for you, you are leading him on by other means. I don’t care how rude or nasty that you think it to be, you just have to be brutal to him and nip it in the bud. None of this “but I don’t want to lose him as a friend” bullshit. Trust me, he hasn’t been your friend for a long time since the minute he wanted more than friendship.
So yeah, be clean and surgical about it. In the long run, he will thank you for it. Who knows, you might even be able to become friends after he has moved on from you.
The reasons above is also why I am never too nice to my female friends, or be out on one-on-one coffees/dinners with, no matter how platonic we are. Because their boyfriends know the exact same things above as I do – sometimes men and women can’t just be friends. Not really. 
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I think there are two situations here with the girl:
a) the girl is oblivious to the fact that this guy likes her. often this is the case with younger girls who don’t have much expereince when it comes to relationships and differences between the sexes in general.
b) the girl realises that the guy is interested but takes advantage of it so she can get him to do her favors e.g. nice dinners, free drinks, lifts home etc.
Last night I was out clubbing in inner-city Melbourne with a friend of mine. This particular female friend has had a male friend that’s been hanging around hoping for something more for YEARS. She knows this but she uses him for: emotional support, lifts, dinner etc. If she’s upset he is the first person she calls. Last night she rang him at 2am and he came all the way from home (which is 40 minutes drive from the city) to pick her up. He was in bed asleep when she called.
There was another occasion where she was heratbroken over one particular ex-boyfriend she’d seen at a wedding. This wedding happend to be 3 hours away from Melbourne in the Victorian countryside. My friend rang this guy crying and her drove the total of 6 hours to drive up and bring her home.
Talk about pussy whipped! In this situation the guy is too nice and the girl is taking advantage…
Oh wow. Ok this guy really needs someone to slap him out of it. And the girl … oh, so evil.
[...] you. It’s not because he’s just a nice guy who likes to help people. It’s because he likes you! But guys? Don’t be too nice – don’t be a door mat. And remember, just being nice [...]