Well, what do you know – more relationship lessons from “Jersey Shore”.

Last night’s episode of Jersey Shore was hilarious and educational. And one character, Vinny provided most of the education. Vinny met this hot girl at a club and asked for her number. He got it, and then asked her out the next day. She said yes and that made Vinny very happy. He went out and got new clothes, a haircut and a bunch of flowers.

Then she calls later in the day to cancel, and that made Vinny very mad.

So Vinny fumed for a while and then decided to call her again. After a few calls with no-answers, she finally picks up. Vinny does a puppy dog thing and begs, BEGS, her to come out. She said yes, and he got all happy excited again.

He dressed up and waited with Pauly D for their dates. Pauly’s date arrived at the house and they left without Vinny. Meanwhile, Vinny’s girl was a no-show. He totally got played.

Lessons:

1. Girls change their minds all the time. There’s no point getting angry about it. The sooner you accept that like you accept any other laws of nature, the happier you will be. And the less of a chump you will be too. But the right girl, one that likes you back, won’t play you like Vinny’s girl did.
2. Don’t call more than once (3 times max!) after she doesn’t answer or call back. Her not calling back or answering is just plain rude. Or she’s trying to give you a hint. Either way, it’s a lost cause. Again, the right girl won’t do this. Go find another girl to call.
3. Never ever, EVER, beg. You ask, she says no – end of story. Walk away. Even if you do end up together, you’ve already shown her that you are a chump and she ain’t gonna show you any respect after that. Believe it!

Oh there’s one more lesson tho …

So Angelina is dating this nice guy Jose, and she has professed her hatred for Vinny. But one drunken night out later, Angelina and Vinny hooked up, as in “have sex” and not just “kissed” like poor Jose thought she did. The lesson is: you can be the nicest guy to a girl and she will still end up sleeping with some other guy anyway. Women can be scummy like that. Or you know, they like to have sex as often as they can, if they think they can get away with it. Just like men.

After visiting a hutong, we walked to the nearby drum tower. The drum tower, along with the bell tower situated close to it, were used during imperial times to announce the hours of the day. The drum tower was also where an American tourist was stabbed and died, and the assailant then committed suicide by jumping off the side.

2008 Beijing Drum Tower stabbings – Wikipedia

To go up the tower, you have to go up a flight of very steep stairs ( ~ 60° incline?).

Heheh going up is easier than going down, because well … you have to look down.

This was what awaits us at the top – a chamber where all the drums are, which are all recreations of the old ones. One was purposedly kept in its original condition (ie. torn and broken) after what happened during the Eight-Power Allied Forces’ invasion of Beijing.

The drum tower sits on the central axis running through the city. As such it offers a great view of the city.

Towards the distance in the photo above is the back entrance of The Forbidden City.

If you are rushing for time and not feeling particular energetic (those stairs are killer!), I think you can skip the drum tower. Though it is nearby to the hutong that most tour guides will take you, so it’s a worthwhile side trip.

Next up – one more day’s worth of photos taken whilst in Beijing. Lots more to come.

Let me start out by saying that yesterday’s event was very poorly organised – from forcing everyone to enter through one entrance, causing a long-ass queue that wrapped around the entire block of Aberdeen, Newcastle and Lake Streets, to not having enough bartenders at any of the bars, and to the long lines for food.

We’ve read of people who had to queue for 2 hours just to get into the cordoned off area of Aberdeen Street, between Lake and William Streets. We were lucky in that it only took us half an hour but that’s only because we saw someone we know in line and cut in. Sorry people behind us!

Oktoberfest festival fizzer – The West Australian.

So yeah we were annoyed even before we got in, and then we were confronted with more lines for the beer and the food. But on such a nice day, our group decided through sheer willpower and determination to have an awesome time regardless. We did, and so did a lot of other people.

In the end though, it felt like any other club night on any other weekend except we paid $65 each for the privilege of it. Hah! The one outstanding difference though? Girls in beer wench costumes.

Oh, and the beers and sausages weren’t too bad either. This might be the one and only time that I’m going to one of these, but seeing as the organisers have promised everyone who went a free ticket to next year’s event, to make up for the problems of this year’s, I’m willing to give it another shot.

Unless I see the same ginormous queue to get in again, then I’m just gonna scalp my ticket on the day.

Lawrence and I, 2002

1992 was my first year of uni, and it was the first week of that when I met Lawrence. He is the only son from a wealthy family, and he was flashy and extravagant. I hung out with him over the next two years and then drifted apart towards the final years of uni.

I then bumped into him in the city one year after graduation in 1998, and we started hanging out again after that. I would meet his then-fiance, who would eventually become his then-wife, and subsequently ex-wife, and their circle of friends.

It was the heady days of the IT boom years of 1998-2001. We all had money and without much care in the world. We’d go out for dinners and partied often. He would marry his wife in early 2001 and divorced her in the middle of 2002. Without his wife serving as buffer, I began to realise that he was a spoilt rich kid all along. He was self-centred and arrogant. We’d always do what he wanted to do, and go where he wanted to go. And most of his friends were actually her friends.

I suppose the other reason that I didn’t realise this sooner was because I was having too much fun. He was generous when we went out. While I tried to pay my share, he’d end up paying for most of the drinks. And when he throws his money around, we get quite a lot of attention from the girls too.

But gradually it became apparent that money was what he used to compensate for I don’t know, a lack of personality?

I remember the last time I would speak to him proper: one day at my restaurant in late 2002, I was stressed and tired, and it showed. Around that time, I had also given up on a Japanese girl who I was going after. Lawrence thought I was angry at him about something. I didn’t know what he was talking about, and then, I guess because he was feeling guilty about it, he just blurted out that he had been hanging out with the girl and even spent a few nights with her down south somewhere.

I wasn’t so much angry as I was disappointed. I didn’t care about the girl. I was more surprised that he felt the need to sneak around. No matter, that was the end of our friendship as far as I was concerned.

In hindsight though, meeting him was probably one of the best things to have happened to me. Through him, I’d met the last girl that I’d have genuine feelings for. And through him, I’d met Simon – his friend was friends with Lawrence.

And through Simon, I’d met Lydia. Through Lydia, I’d met Katie, Michelle, Selina and Kayo. And through Michelle, I’d met Ashley. And if you know me well though, you’d know that these are some of my closest friends now.

So really, I would have to thank Lawrence for all of this. My life would have been so much more different now if it wasn’t for him.

After visiting The Summer Palace and having lunch, we visited a Beijing hutong which is basically a neighbourhood characterised by narrow alleys and traditional houses.

It’s quite a fascinating glimpse into how people used to live in China. Although a lot of these neighbourhoods have been demolished and the people have moved out, some have been designated heritage areas and have been preserved.

This is a typical front door into a house.

The houses where people still live in are moderately well-kept but they are a big contrast to the other houses that have been remodelled to become shops, bars and restaurants. The following are two garish examples.

That said, the place is charming.

Our guide told us that the place becomes even busier at night. It’s a shame that I never got to experience it. Next time perhaps.

After the morning tour of the Olympic Stadium and Water Cube, we headed to The Summer Palace. Above is a 3-storey theatre within the palace grounds.

In the middle of the entire area is a 2.2 square-kilometre man-made lake. And the excavated dirt was made into the hill (Longevity Hill) in the photo above, atop of which was built the Tower of Buddhist Incense. That’s pretty mind-blowing.

And along the edges of the lake are lots and lots of lotuses. Parts of the place felt very calm and tranquil.

Along the way to one of the residential palaces, we came across this corridor – The Long Corridor.

It was built so that the Emperor can enjoy his garden whilst being shielded from the elements. Each painted part of the corridor, which runs about 730m is covered in different artwork without repetition. It’s quite amazing.

And atop the Seventeen Arch Bridge are carved stone lions of different expressions and poses. Man, they really don’t do things by halves.

All of this grandeur made me wonder: if the time, money and effort that went into building all these grand magnificent buildings (with the exception of The Great Wall) could have been better spent? China could have definitely done a better job of defending her territory when other countries were carving her up for themselves and during World War 2 that’s for sure.

Over the course of my adult life, I’ve known more women who were unavailable than not. I’ve become good friends with most of them and some have become my best friends. All this time I thought that it was great that they’d flirt with me, and give me playful hugs and kisses, and their boyfriends and husbands would be cool with it.

Besides the lack of sex (patience, patience …) it was fantastic. Then it hit me.

I’m like a eunuch in the emperor’s palace.

They must think me to be non-threatening sexually. How else to explain the women who are so comfortable with me and with behaving as playful and flirty as they are, and their men who feel equally comfortable in letting them?

Of course, I haven’t used my junk in such a long time I might as well be a eunuch now.

Admiral Zheng He, the greatest eunuch of all time. Of all time!