As I age gracefully into my 40s, my skin has become thicker and I’m no longer mortified by situations that used to be awkward especially when they involve women. My reaction to them these days is always “fuck it” but back then, not so much. Here are some recollections that I have not painfully scrubbed from my mind … yet.
- As boys are wont to do, we behaved strangely with girls that we like. We might tease them more and be more mean towards them than normal. I was like that with a girl until she caught me in a stairwell one day and asked me straight up, “what’s going on?” I reacted with feelings of incredulity (how can you not know?!) and yelled “because I like you!” Till this day, I remember this because lightning cracked and the skies started pissing themselves laughing. I’m not kidding.
- I once said to my crush at the time, “so I heard you got a boyfriend now”. She looked at the guy next to her and said, “yeah this is him”. Ermahgerd. Where’s the nearest hole I can crawl into?
- I made the error of breaking up with a girl on campus instead of off campus because I then had to walk back into the lunch hall and catch the death stares from her and all her friends. The breakup was pleasant in comparison to that.
- Happily arranged a dinner date with a girl that I thought was interested, and then showing up to the place to see her sitting with two male friends. At least one of them was sympathetic. He said to me, “this was meant to be a date, huh?” Thanks for feeling me, my brother.
Yes, some of the women above may read this but I would like to think that they will be able to laugh with me about it. Otherwise, well … this is awkward.