Why aren’t you asking her out?


February 7, 2016 9:07 PM


(source: xkcd)

I’ve wrote about this before, about having to justify being single as I grow older. And three years after I wrote that, it’s only getting worse. Society just cannot understand why one would choose singledom over being attached to someone. At times, this attitude is downright hostile.

OMG, you are 40?! Don’t be so choosy. You are not getting any younger. What’s wrong with her? Why do you want to be alone? What’s the matter with you?

The fact that my parents and family are gently nudging me constantly is a given and I am ok with that. My parents’ generation grew up at a time when it’s highly frowned upon if you are not married by 30. Their worry comes from a good place. Mom actually said to me, “I don’t want you to die alone”. It’s ok mom, I won’t die alone – they’d find my body next to a fembot. The technology will exist when I’m 70 right? :mrgreen:

I kid. Relationships exist in many forms now and the traditional man-woman monogamy thing is not necessarily the most fulfilling one out there. Yes, someone still needs to procreate to keep our species going but I don’t think that’s a problem at the moment. I would think that people of my generation and even the one after mine would not care so much about having a partner to validate their existence but I would be wrong.

I would be out in mixed company of single people and people in various stages of a relationship, and without fail there is an expectation on me as a single male to be trying to hook up with one of the single females on the night. As a Chinese person, I used to get “oh she’s Chinese too, you two should hit it off”. Now it’s “oh she’s single, you should ask her out”. Hey friend, I just wanna enjoy my alcoholic beverage(s) in this loud and noisy environment looking at the various women walking around the place. No, I don’t want to ask all of them out and yes I can enjoy looking without wanting to buy the goods.

I’m more inclined to let things happen naturally, for the conversation to flow and the laughs to be shared effortlessly. And then maybe, I might ask her out. Or I might not. Don’t worry about my state of mind – it’s perfectly fine where it is. And yes, I like sex with women but it doesn’t mean that I need to plug every available hole that walks my way. Kthxbai.

Yes I'm single and you gotta be fucking awesome to change that

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