There’s a reason that people text more these days than they would call. Texting allows you time to compose your response and because you don’t know if your recipient has read your message or not, you tended to cut them some slack. An immediate reply is usually not expected.
That was true until the advent of the typing bubble and the read receipt. These two things have combined to cause a lot of psychotic behaviour from otherwise sane people. Now you can see that they’ve read it and sometimes you can see that they are typing out a response but then they stop. Maddening? Yes! Logical? Nope.
Things get complicated further when it comes to dating because some people still adhere to the stupid rule of waiting before replying or sending out that first text. So now, the artifical countdown starts as soon as the two blue ticks appear next to your message. A forlorn cry of “It’s been two days! Why haven’t they replied yet?!” morphs into an angry one of “I know they’ve read it! That bastard/bitch!”
Aziz Ansari feels all of our pain.
My thoughts about how to get out of the above neurotic behavioural cycle are as follows:
- Don’t wait to text. Just text. A simple text after that first date is nice – “I had a great time. Hope to see you again.” As long as your texts do not outnumber theirs, you are not being too eager or desperate. You are being a decent human being making conversation and showing interest.
- Don’t wait for the reply. If they don’t reply within a reasonable time frame (1-2 days max) then perhaps they are not that interested in making an effort and that’s ok. Move on. If they message back after a lengthy period without making plans to meet up next and the whole non-replying cycle continues, move on and this time for good.
- Don’t play mind games. Treat them the way that you want to be treated yourself and if they don’t reciprocate that’s your sign to look elsewhere.
Feel like agonising about this somemore? Then read these:
*Post inspired by TCC