A female friend laid it out in the following way. When she is being wooed by a man, there are three possible outcomes.
- She doesn’t like the guy and if there was a friendship there to begin with, it will probably not overcome the rejection. Or the friendship will be lessened and changed irrevocably.
- She likes the guy initially, they embark on a relationship together and then it fails sometime later.
- She likes the guy and their relationship lasts for the long term.
She said, “Notice how two of the three possibilities are negative. And that is why I prefer platonic friendships sometimes because they tend to last longer.” It’s quite logical, though not wanting to ruin the friendship has never stopped me from pursuing someone. My thinking is that I have enough friends and if I lose one because I wanted to take it further, then that’s ok.
No, my reasons for being single is that I’m just lazy. I wrote about that before so I will just quote from that old post (Grass-Eating Single Man):
You see, as I started reading these daily emails and I kid you not, I started to feel tired at the thought of doing a series of dates and having to make small talk at every one of them. Yes, it just felt like too much work to me. Yes, of course if the matches are what eHarmony promises I wouldn’t be making small talk for long. And yes of course I could possibly meet an awesome girl out of the whole exercise. But then I also thought of having to go on dates and possibly not contacting some of the women I would meet ever again and err yeah … I didn’t wanna do that.
I wrote the above almost 2 years ago, and I still haven’t changed my mind about it. My emotional health is amply taken care of by the people in my life. Although I crave physical intimacy, I don’t crave it enough to bother with dating or trying to date. Yeah I might just die alone but I don’t think I will die unhappy because I really do appreciate all the simple things in life that don’t involve being with a woman and/or having sex with her.
But it doesn’t mean that I won’t cherish the experience if I’m lucky enough to stumble my way into a relationship. 🙂