Nerian @ stock.xchng

Being a perennial single person, there are frequent times when I’d ask myself:

• Why is everyone else coupled up except for me?
• Is there something wrong with me?
• Why do I always meet people who are not available?
• Why do I not feel something for people who are available?

If I’m not careful, I can spiral into a deep depression as a result of all that self-doubt. That is why I have a mantra:

“I complete myself.”

To me, human love is an artificial construct. Contrary to social expectations, sappy rom-coms and commercials, I feel that it is not the key component of one’s happiness, nor is it the only way to attain happiness. Therefore, love does not complete me - I complete me.

If you accept the mantra, then when love actually comes, it is not a crutch, and it does not fill a void; it’s the wonderful thing that elevates you into an extraordinary place.

Greg Bird is a player in the National Rugby League and Katie Milligan is his American girlfriend. Early last week, Greg allegedly glassed Katie in the eye while arguing in his apartment. When they were attended to in a hospital, they had told medical staff that it was Greg’s friend Brent Watson who did it.

Luckily, Brent was not stupid and he also had a solid alibi. He went to the police and told his version of events. Greg Bird was then charged with maliciously inflicting grievous bodily harm and assault occasioning actual bodily harm, and his league club the Cronulla Sharks had stood him down indefinitely.

LeagueHQ - The footballer, the glassed girlfriend and his fall guy … one teed-off mate
Police charge NRL ace Greg Bird for lover Katie Milligan assault | NEWS.com.au

So I’m trying to understand Katie’s actions and logic here. Perhaps this is his first violent outburst, or perhaps she thought that she was to be blamed for provoking him. And she thought it’s probably not worth it to trash his reputation and career over, so she had agreed with him to frame a friend of his. In the heat of the moment, I can sorta understand how all of that could have happened.

But what went through the minds of these two deluded individuals to make them think that Brent Watson was just going to quietly take the wrap for something that he didn’t do? Friends or not, this was something ridiculous to expect a person to do.

And after being discharged from hospital, we’ve now learnt that Katie had signed with a lawyer linked to Greg’s management. Which probably means that she’s still on his side, potentially hampering police investigations into the assault.

Greg Bird’s girlfriend Katie Milligan may not speak out | NEWS.com.au

All of which begs the question? Why do seemingly intelligent women put up with violent men and make excuses for them? I can understand it if children are involved and leaving the man is not a simple thing to do. I can even understand it if the woman is financially dependent on the man.

But with Katie, none of this applies. Helping him excuse his behaviour away and trying to cover up for him is the first step to something worst. Katie was lucky not to have lost her eye. Next time might be a different story. And if next time, she still sticks up for him then she really deserves the man that she’s got.

Because she’s shown to him that he can do whatever he wants with her, she can forget about getting any respect or dignity from him. Why should he when she doesn’t even have respect and dignity for herself?

Her name is Tsun and she presents the weather. The puns just write themselves.

Angela Tsun is a UNSW graduate in communications, was a presenter for The Weather Channel for 4 years, did a stint on the short-lived Ralph TV and the requisite Ralph photo shoot, and has now landed herself in Perth a couple of months ago as the weather person for Channel Nine Perth.

When I first heard about her and her name, I had thought, “What lucky Chinese bastard got to marry this girl?!” Then I found out that her father is half-Chinese, thus making her a quart Asian hottie.

Here comes the Tsun | PerthNow

Therefore, she’s the perfect woman for the Asian Anglophile who has traditional parents who wants him to marry a nice Asian girl. Because hey, part-Asian is still Asian. Heh.

But too bad so sad, she isn’t available last I read. Never mind. If her father can snag a blonde hottie who presumably is where Angela gets her good looks from (I mean look at her!), there’s hope for the rest of you lot yet. Then again, her father being half-Chinese probably means he’s got that dark hunky Eurasian look which probably tipped things in his favour.

Oh well, back to dreaming about it then you guys.

Click on the image to get the bigger version. Go on, you know you want to.

One of my favourite shows on TV is “How I Met Your Mother“. The show spins a comedy around the relationship issues of a group of friends in their early 30s where two of them are married and the other three are single. The dynamics of their discussions are always fun because everyone has a different point of view due to their personalities and circumstances.

So apart from the married couple, one’s the straight-guy (as in follow the rules, have morals etc.), one’s a woman with all that that entails, and the other is the sleazoid player. And he’s called “Barney Stinson” and is played by Neil Patrick Harris.

He’s my favourite character on the show because he utters lines like these:

• Because we just hooked up last night. I can’t call the girl the next day, I have to wait at least like…forever, Oh Snap! Nevergonnacallher.
• This better be good. I’m about to enter Nirvana. By the way I should get you Nirvana’s phone number, she gives a great massage. Say whaaaat?
• You invited me up to your apartment to play Battleship. Is that not an international recognized term for sex?
• There are only two reasons to date a girl you’ve already dated: Breast implants.
• This girl is blinding you with her shiny hair and boob-shaped boobs.
• Look around Lily, you are in the heart of bachelor country. And as a woman you are an illegal immigrant here. Now you can try to apply for a sex visa but that only last 12 hours. Fourteen if you qualify for multiple entry.
• Wherever girls want to get back at their ex-boyfriends we’ll be there. Wherever women deal with their daddy issues through promiscuity and binge drinking, we will be there. Wherever a bachelorette party drives through the city in a limo sticking their heads out of the windows yelling ‘What’s up New York?.’ We will be what is up New York.
• Bringing a date to a wedding is like taking a deer carcass on a hunting trip.
• The only reason to wait a month for sex is if she’s 17 years, 11 months old.

Sources:
How I Met Your Mother : Watercooler : TV : Entertainment : Sympatico / MSN
TV.com Forums - Favorite Barneyisms (comment 35)
Channel Guide Magazine » How I Met Your Mother: “The Goat” Recap

Other Barneyisms in the show include the “Bro Code” (one of which is that one should never make eye contact in a “devil’s three way”), and the “Lemon Law” (you are allowed to cut a date short within 5 minutes of the date if it sucks).

For more hilarity, check out Barney Stinson’s blog.

The other night I met this guy who immediately reminded me of Barney. How I know? Because he mentioned a get together like so, “it’s the birthday party of the girl that I’m banging”. Heh. In a way, I wish I could be more like this guy, more like Barney. I wished I could be more thick-skinned when it comes to women, and base it all around “going for the percentage”.

Though as funny as Barney and this guy is, and as true as some of their theories about women and relationships are, I can’t because I don’t see the point of being a player. I don’t feel the need to try and score every time that I go out, and I am not afraid that my “skills” will fade away if I don’t use it.

Though the guy and I did agree on one thing: older girls are easier because they know what they want, and if you’ve got what they want, it’s a sure thing if you play it right; there’s less mind games and it’s less of a mind-fuck. Well, usually anyway.

In case you don’t get the metaphor, I found this picture of cupcakes with cherries on top. Get it now?
(athena1970 @ flickr)

Tonight on “Two and A Half Men”, Charlie used the cupcake as a metaphor for sex,

You can enjoy the cupcake without getting involved with the baker.

As funny as that is, and as much I want to follow that principle, I just can’t.

But as Woody Allen playing Boris had quipped in “Love and Death“,

Sonja: Oh don’t, Boris, please. Sex without love is an empty experience.
Boris: Yes, but as empty experiences go, it’s one of the best.

Heh. I’m also in agreement with another one of Woody Allen’s lines, this one from “Annie Hall“,

Hey, don’t knock masturbation. It’s sex with someone I love.

I try not to love myself too much but yeah lately? It’s all I’ve got.

The freezing temperatures made me ache for body warmth. It made me count the money in my wallet and contemplate going to a brothel. But I fought the urge and drove home as quick as I can, lest I succumb mid-journey. Nissan Skyline for the win!

I got home but it was too cold to have a cold shower. So I had some porn instead. Porn is good. Porn saved me half an hour for $180. Yay porn!

Being cold and single? That’s the exact picture that I’ve just painted.

So I list my birthday and relationship status on Facebook and these are all the ads I see now. And they use both to put me down! “33 and still single?” Ouch.

If I wasn’t a well-adjusted person, I think these would cause one to go into a spiral of depression. In your face, much?! And how did they know I like blondes?