Mom: Where’s Al-Qaeda?
Me: What do you mean?
Mom: You know. Where.
Me: It’s everywhere. There are cells everywhere.
Me: Yeah, cells. Groups of people.
Mom: Like Chinese people.
Me: Yeah, like Chinese people are everywhere. Yes.
Mom: But where are they from?
Me: Mostly Middle Eastern countries.
Mom: But where is it?
Me: I told you! Everywhere!
Mom: Where is it on the map?
Me: MOM! Al-Qaeda is *not* a country!
Then I find out she was just testing to see how long before I lose it. Should have known. She’d know what Al-Qaeda’s all about because she’s a newsfreak: reads the Chinese and English newspapers from front to back (except sports) and watches TV news religiously – morning, midday, early evening and late night. Free to air *and* Foxtel. If I show her how to get on the Net, she wouldn’t get out of the house. Worse: she wouldn’t cook. Hmmm, better not. I still go home five nights a week for dinner.