A few years back, my mom sat my brother and I down for a “chat”.
Mom: I know you both are having sex.
Me and my bro: Ewww, that’s sick mom!
Mom: Not with each other lah! But with your girlfriends. Aiyer.
Me and my bro: Orh …
Mom: And I don’t know if this has happened already or not, but I’d prefer it that there’d be no sex in the house.
Me and my bro: *sniggers* Oh I think we gathered that. *winks at mom*
Mom: I’m serious. No sex in the house.
My bro: So we can do it in their houses but not ours?
Me: So if I did it in my car whilst parked inside the garage, that’d be ok?
My bro: How bout if I pitched a tent in the backyard, get some sleeping bags …
Mom: Don’t try to be cheeky!
Me: We are not trying …
Mom: Have some respect! No sex in the house!
I was 26 – then and there I thought that it’s about time I moved out. I’ve done a lot of practicing on my bed and for once I’d like to have a real-life partner on it without feeling guilty about it. That and my mom prefers a neat and tidy garden over my dog.
Off I went looking for a place. I didn’t go too far – I moved back into our previous house. My parents had it rented out and didn’t really like the tenants. As for housemates, I found 4 girls. Before you get too envious of me (like every one of my friends at the time), one is one of my brother’s numerous exes and the other three had boyfriends. So they were off-limits. Though on many occasions, I did get to see them in their cute pyjamas and them walking out the shower with only their towels wrapped around them. Mmmm.
In any case, my social life did improve. We were going out a lot and the girls were always having ppl over, and I met a lot of new ppl that way. However, my sex life didn’t change much. Truth be told, my strike rate was about the same. The only difference is that I now had a bigger bed to practice on.
My brother? He’s the same age now as I was when I moved out. He’s still living at home and is proud of it. Think about it: he doesn’t pay rent, his laundry is done for him and he gets 3 meals a day for free. All he has to do in return is do some occasional housework and give my parents some company. Why would any sane person wanna give that up? I guess in the end, he figured he can always have sex elsewhere but it’s harder to find a woman that’s willing to be his domestic slave as well. And for that mom, you have my greatest admiration and gratitude. Don’t suppose I can move back in? 😉